Could this work?

[charlieHungerford]

People, situations and tasks that cause us anxiety because we have developed such negative beliefs and fears about the situation, could it be possible to start desensitising these situations by imagining these people, situations or tasks we fear and link happy, pleasant things in amongst these things in order to start seeing them less scary?

I haven't thought much about this, well 5 mins in total. I will have a think tonight about this more.

If anyone has any ideas relating to this please share! Its just when negative experiences and attaching terrible bad horrible thoughts and labels to situations make it so hard, surely by attaching nice, pleasant, positive happy thoughts to these things maybe it could ease the fears?

 

[signs05]

Hi Charlie

I have tried the very thing you speak of, i.e associating (sp?) fearful situations with positive images, or just generally thinking about it in a positive way. Obviously it has a very limited relief effect, and may work a couple of hours tops. We can not make ourselves see something we have feared for several years as being positive and happy. Especially if we have no real life experiences to back it up with.

Generally, and I don't wanna go on a rant here, I feel that focusing too much on our thoughts increases our anxiety, this is what happened to me. Everytime I had a negative thought I almost got mad and tried to change it automatically and felt my head was a warfare inwhich I did not know where to go and how to think, it was chaos.

I think the best way to handle a thought about a scary situation is to try to look at it realistically and to evaluate whats going on, like telling yourself out loud "I have a thought telling me I should fear this situation". This way, youll be able to look at it from a distance and realize that these thoughts have no real power over us except the power we choose to give them.

I like this guys article on the subject:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Barry1.html


He says:

The fear exists when we pull against the thoughts like in a tug of war. It is the mental struggle that creates the tension. It is the mental conflict of saying "I don't want to think about this" "I don't like that thought- I want it to go away" that causes us the anxiety and stress.

This is what I have noticed as well.

 

[charlieHungerford]

Hi signs,

I do agree with you that this method of linking fearful situations with positive images probably is not going to work. I have given up on that line of thinking.

Yeah I am a big believer that understanding and evaluating what is happening is a key process in overcoming fears. If we all do nothing and just give in to anxiety we will never improve or progress. I can only speak for myself and say my fear is a learnt fear from the past, I think we all learn to behave in a certain way. Even in minor things such as we may be willing to lend people money and share our things with people, but if someone is bad at paying up or makes issues about paying up and seems to take all the time and never gives back - takes your generosity for granted, you do learn to stop lending to that person and being cautious about lending and sharing to that person.
I remember days before I had SA, I remember never being anxious around anyone or particularly anxious in any situation. And therefore I have learnt to become how I have done, subconsciously, so I need to aim to reverse what has happened, but that can only be done if I work out what needs reversing. If it is possible for me to have gone from a confident person who feared nothing to becoming a person who had no confidence and feared so many situations through experiences, then the reverse is definitely possible of happening, BUT only if the correct things are done to re-program the mind. And of course each person's solution will be individual to themselves.

That is just my own beliefs on my own situation, I am so motivated and determined to overcome this and I really do believe I will do. I am going to buy the biggest bottle of expensive champagne I can find when I feel I have conquered this. Even more motivation to sort this out.