Capsaicin
Well-known member
How do we do that?
I ask because in my earlier years I was a people-pleaser, partially out of a need to be liked and partially out of a genuine desire to help others. I got mixed results.
On one hand I made some really great friends in high school, but I also attracted a lot of very, very sick people who seemed to be seeking someone to make them feel better and withstood a lot of emotional and psychological abuse. Suicide threats in response to needing to go to bed, gaslighting, insults (I'm cruel, I'm withholding my time to punish them, etc), you name it... The worst of them were always online and a result of being too nice on forums.
What eventually happened is that I became very narrow-minded about who and what I spend time on, mostly myself and established friendships. My mental and emotional health is great now. I expect to be anxiety-free by this time next year, because I've got nothing but people who are great to me and nothing to spend myself on but them and myself.
I can easily and quickly deflect anyone who latches onto me wanting to suck me dry of time and energy, and thinking they can control me by insulting me and threatening me if they don't get their way. It's kind of because I've become selfish and emotionally reserved, almost a worse person in some ways. I feel like I deny myself the opportunity to be noticed by the type of good people I also used to befriend. Even a couple weeks with one of the bad ones figuring out what they're all about can turn me into a mess, so it doesn't feel like a risk I can take.
I ask because in my earlier years I was a people-pleaser, partially out of a need to be liked and partially out of a genuine desire to help others. I got mixed results.
On one hand I made some really great friends in high school, but I also attracted a lot of very, very sick people who seemed to be seeking someone to make them feel better and withstood a lot of emotional and psychological abuse. Suicide threats in response to needing to go to bed, gaslighting, insults (I'm cruel, I'm withholding my time to punish them, etc), you name it... The worst of them were always online and a result of being too nice on forums.
What eventually happened is that I became very narrow-minded about who and what I spend time on, mostly myself and established friendships. My mental and emotional health is great now. I expect to be anxiety-free by this time next year, because I've got nothing but people who are great to me and nothing to spend myself on but them and myself.
I can easily and quickly deflect anyone who latches onto me wanting to suck me dry of time and energy, and thinking they can control me by insulting me and threatening me if they don't get their way. It's kind of because I've become selfish and emotionally reserved, almost a worse person in some ways. I feel like I deny myself the opportunity to be noticed by the type of good people I also used to befriend. Even a couple weeks with one of the bad ones figuring out what they're all about can turn me into a mess, so it doesn't feel like a risk I can take.
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