Confrontation

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yeahyeahyeah

Active member
I avoid arguing and confrontation 99% of the time , only down side is i let people walk over me for fear of stirring something up . Alot of times something is said or done that irks me and i'll let it slide telling myself " don't bother defending yourself or calling them on their BS cause it could turn ugly "

Well long story short someone blamed me for something i did'nt do, right in my face ( guy @ work ) and i freaking lost it , i found myself yelling at him and feeling great at the same time for doing it . it's like you can only go to a point till you blow up i guess . he ended up saying sorry and backing down .

I felt great since this happened about confronting people ,, getting a sharp tongue when people make stupid rude comments and seeing them change their manners makes me feel good !

Like most on this forum i have a problem with eye contact and i think this sends the signal to the other person confronting you that they are intimidating you and they are in charge .

I hope this post makes some sense , i had a few beer before writing it ,, great forum btw - alot of these topics and posts are like you are reading my mind good to see i'am not along with this crap .
 
B

bigcat1967

Well-known member
Same thing here.

I'm 6'6" - 250 lbs - muscular build. Nobody would think I have SA - but I do.

There is this one dude at work who stabs ppl in the back. This is the only guy in the world for some reason - I can't stand up too.

Anyway, the other day, I walked in and he was sitting down. I stood next to him looking all mad and everything. He got nervous. After that - I felt a lot of fear disappeared.

Now - I don't want to fight since I'm a Christian - but something had to be done - so before I did it - I prayed about it and then sort of looked at him angrily. Man - it worked pretty good. :)
 
BleedTheFreak

BleedTheFreak

Well-known member
Good for you for standing up for yourself. I think there's definitely a line between being polite/patient and letting people walk all over you. I can definitely relate to what you said about not calling people on their BS, I end up just agreeing with people even if I don't like what they're saying. I've attracted the wrong kind of people in the past with this behavior, especially narcissists.
 
Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
EVERYONE has the right to be assertive for themselves. That's NOT being aggressive, being passive-aggressive, being manipulative, being domineering. It's being honest, calm and standing up for yourself and basic your rights; as an individual and human being. Key is self-awareness here, knowing what you want, and that those wants aren't something out of order and shouldnt feel guilty over.

Very hard to do this because you have to trust yourself first, and not fear responses. Im working on this with simple things; like, not wanting to eat at a certain place. Etc.
 
Death Rider

Death Rider

Active member
@BigCat1967
I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy ;D A big muscular dude comes up to me and he's boiling with anger. Oh yeah... I had that happen before ;D I put on my pokerface and talked carefully. Avoided a whooping.
Believe me, it sucks being in that position :/ It's like positive reenforcement without telling him why. All he learned is to be scared of you ;D Body language depicts emotions, rarer ideas.

I believe that confrontation should only happen if the subject touches you directly or enters your personal space (like a fist ;D ). I had problems with envy. Used to put the person down for acting stupid (which he does) but that is none of my concern :<
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
I'm glad you had the courage to stand up for yourself. :3

But, whenever I read such a post I always feel the need to tell that person not to overdo it. There's a big difference between being respected and feared, and by yelling/intimidating you'll only make them scared. Do it when it's necessary, but otherwise use a calm tone and calmly explain the situation.

Newly found power can be addictive, use it wisely. :3
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
Its all about how you carry yourself,I dont know how to explain but watch the documentary "into the pride",as people said you can stand up without being overly agressive,yes I believe this aplies to humans too,its more how you look and carry yourself and you can avoid confrontation before it even starts even if you are weaker you can bluff,unfortunetly I was not meant to be like this so when I tried to stand up it was a disaster,but I am like this so you like it or leave it,but if somebody touched me I would definetly react agressively.
 
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