Vincent
Banned
I just spend a weekend playing Networked PC games with a group of eight friends. We were in my mate's lounge, couches and tables set up with computers. It was Starcraft and Warcraft 3, and it was all weekend long.
Although the games were fun at the time, now I feel empty. In part it may be because there was so little communication. There was little conversation, it was some banter, name calling and talking shit like children. But, mostly, it was embarrasing silence. Everyone left except myself and the friend whose house it was. He drove me home and there was awkward silence until I started talking about the games we'd played and so forth.
I hated hearing myself talk about computer games. I feel terrible that I spent an entire weekend with these guys but at the end, when the computers were off, we were standing around like strangers. I feel there is more to life and that being around people without conversation or communication. It is painful and a kind of lonilness to be with people but unable to connect.
Half of the guys there work with computers, they have IT type jobs. For me, I'd hate to work with computers all day, or any real kind of technical job I think. I want to work with people, the very thing that I fear the most.
I've always played alot of computer games growing up, but really because it was escapism. Not knowing how to socialise or what was wrong with me, there was not many alternatives to gaming when people just cause pain. So, there was that. Also, with these friends that work with computers, they too have poor social skills are unpopular with girls. So, I found myself with them because they wouldn't reject me as they were rejects themselves.
I want to change. I don't want to spend my free time playing games. I'd rather spend it socialising and or outdoors.
You see what friends you have now, if any, and it tells a story about your past. I don't want my future to be the same as my past, and I don't want to have friends only to play computer games with.
Does anyone reading this have a similar situation or know what I mean?
Thanks,
Vincent.
Although the games were fun at the time, now I feel empty. In part it may be because there was so little communication. There was little conversation, it was some banter, name calling and talking shit like children. But, mostly, it was embarrasing silence. Everyone left except myself and the friend whose house it was. He drove me home and there was awkward silence until I started talking about the games we'd played and so forth.
I hated hearing myself talk about computer games. I feel terrible that I spent an entire weekend with these guys but at the end, when the computers were off, we were standing around like strangers. I feel there is more to life and that being around people without conversation or communication. It is painful and a kind of lonilness to be with people but unable to connect.
Half of the guys there work with computers, they have IT type jobs. For me, I'd hate to work with computers all day, or any real kind of technical job I think. I want to work with people, the very thing that I fear the most.
I've always played alot of computer games growing up, but really because it was escapism. Not knowing how to socialise or what was wrong with me, there was not many alternatives to gaming when people just cause pain. So, there was that. Also, with these friends that work with computers, they too have poor social skills are unpopular with girls. So, I found myself with them because they wouldn't reject me as they were rejects themselves.
I want to change. I don't want to spend my free time playing games. I'd rather spend it socialising and or outdoors.
You see what friends you have now, if any, and it tells a story about your past. I don't want my future to be the same as my past, and I don't want to have friends only to play computer games with.
Does anyone reading this have a similar situation or know what I mean?
Thanks,
Vincent.
