Communicating!!!

[pinkputter]

Ok my SA has gotten better... symptoms have, over time.

This is just a question for those of you out there who have trouble communicating.

Some ppl may consider me shy, but really I think I'm just a bad communicator. Anyone who's outgoing just seems like they can say stuff right off the top of their head, and i really wish I could be more like that. Not necessarily outgoing, I just want to be able to express how i'm feeling. I think that would cut back on so much anxiety... plus I have really good ideas usually, but can't express them. I basically just feel like my personality is bottled up in uncertain situations. It makes me feel dumb in a way .. and I notice other people easily disagreeing with me (probably cause they know they can)... this might all be in my head but im pretty sure its just cause im not assertive about what i say. Gosh even the dumbest low lives (people who live their life with no expectations, and disregard other ppl ... which i never want to live like) but even people that dont have much direction (and i would otherwise be depressed about where my life was going if i were them) ... even those people seem carefree and seem like they enjoy life more.

Growing up I went to speech therapy like once a week. I never have been too confident in my voice, people always ask me to repeat stuff. And I just dont have a "strong" voice. So that afects communicating too I guess.

Anyone else have a similar situation?
Anyone else know of a way to get better communicating skills? I almost want to take a class.

 

[r0ck0ut04]

I'm the same way. I feel like what ever i say is bogus or weird. But to be honest I think most people just don't care what they say,which I have to start doing.

 

[FlirtyandDirty]

The best thing that you can do is practice. I used to have a problem expressing my opinions and beliefs, and that added to the stress of mixing with others. I practiced conversations in my head. I then talked them out with myself. I came into forums and learnt how to express my thoughts and opinions in writing. Through this I learnt that my opinions and thoughs were just as important as everyone else's and that I had a right to express them. People might no agree with me but realising that this is not the end of the world made it so much easier. I have no problem saying what I think now. Sometimes I get a little lost with people, but I stand by what I say and then move on. People I meet now would never know that I had a problem.

I have read lots of your posts and you really can express your points well. You just need to have the confidence to get out there and say what it is that you want to say.

 

[pinkputter]

Hey thanks for the responses!

Rockout: If i interperut what youre saying correctly, the way you care about what people say is what causes you're anxiety. If that is what you meant, I totally relate to that. Now, the opposite of what we're practicing is complete apathy in regards to others. I don't think anyone who has SA wants to (or is even made) to be completely apathetic to people in general. Our caring for others is really a good quality, we need to be able to use that good quality in a way to where it's not "out of control" which is the feeling SA gives us. Thru recovery, you start to understand being apathetic is just as bad as caring TOO much to where it's in vain. Yes caring for others so much to where we get approval from them can be in vain. So I think recovery allows us to see a balance. I'm pretty sure that's what you meant.

FlirtyandDirty: Hey you're right. It's all about experience as far as communicating goes. We all have truth inside us, and when we realize that, we can be assertive in what we say. (without getting too philosophical)... Thanks for the compliment about the posting. As you know its easier to write out thoughts instead of saying them off the top of your head in person. (Or its cause of the SA!! oh yeah thats probable too!).... but one of my writing teachers told us that writing/reading is the only skill you can improve on just by observing (aka reading other skilled writers). We could observe Michael Jordan slam dunk all day but that wouldnt let us get better when it came for ourselves to slam dunk. So i've been reading more books lately, and writing on here of course helps. So my communication skills improve. We'll see! I think what my writing teacher said is very true.

Anything else ppl have to say about communicating feel free to share