COLLEGE and anxiety

[Reholla]

For me, at least I didn't really get anxiety till recently (the onsets were about 4 years ago, and I had specific anxiety then)

But something about college life REALLY makes having anxiety so much worse. You are completely out of your comfot zone...thrown into a school full of people you dont even know. Away from the comfort of your family. It's a lot to take in at once. And to make it all worse, you have a never-ending list of things to do. (laundry, homework, cooking, etc.) It is part of growing up but with some one who has AD its almost unbearable.

To add the the anxiety, ALL college students at one time or another feel lonely. So just imagine how some one going thru this and AD feels...

And 40% of college students are depressed. Kinda sad.. I know i was though.

I honestly cant see how some one can have any reason to be depressed unless they have anxiety. I'm not doubting they have those feelings, but its just hard for me to understand how they could when they feel fine (aka w. out anxiety) BUT anyways, if you are going through what I am feel free to add on!

College is full of anxiety :-/

 

[Reholla]

well since no one else is going to reply to this I guess i will!!

Supposedly its natural to feel anxiety in college since your life style changes so much, and there is a definite increase in responsibility in being on your own.

I keep thinking if I stayed in my home town (where my parents are) and stayed in my comfort zone, maybe I wouldnt be having these anxiety symptoms?

But my whole like (practically) ive felt like somethings been holding me back. I was always shy, but deep down I think always wanted to be a really extroverted person. So now im thinking this anxiety was bound to happen one day.. like it was just building up inside me, and now college has put it to the test and thats why its so evident now.

Hopefully im not the only person who feels this way!! At least SOMEONE respond so I dont think im the only one!!!!!!!! lol

 

[bluenow]

I hear you. I am an older student, go to school near home, but it's very hard. Before each class I usually try to think of a way out of it. I make myself go most of the time.
Keep looking towards the goal while focusing on getting through today.

 

[sutiono]

Well. I have a quite different opinion. I am in my senior year of high school now and I actually look forward to go to college. I hated my school. People seem really selfish and judgemental. No one cares about nobody. In one of my classes, the students were so selfish that they leave their trash on or off the table and the teacher has to clean up after them every time. In the library everyone talked so loud that I could not even read. I can't wait to get out of here. College, in contrast, seems really good. I am taking a class at a local community college and it is much better than our school. People may not be super nice but at least they are more self-conscious. At least they take care of their own crap. The library is so quiet comparing to our school. I really can't wait to go there. I think I would feel less depressed than I am right now in our school.

 

[Septor]

Yea I understand what your saying.Although I have not even started,which I will be doing in September.I already know how hard its going to be thrown into group of people you don't know.At least I wont be going to a new town.

I can understand how hard it is for you Reholla.Beginning a new life and having to deal with all the stress of college and then add anxiety on top of that to.Well I hope you stick with it.Good luck.

 

[Reholla]

Sutiono, I was in your shoes just last year. And I understand about wanting to get out of HS...I was the same way. I did have senioritis, but I know the real reason for me wanting to get out was due to my anxiety. Let me say that I genuinely hope college is a better experience for you than me. If you are good at meeting new people you will have a great time. I get so uncomfortable around people I dont know, its really hard for me to ever meet people in classes. Even if they say something first, I have such bad anxiety symptoms and blank out and dont know what to say. I am slowly loosing contact with the very few friends I had in HS, and I am lonley ... A lot. College is good, in the way that you have freedom and youre not forced into the same group of people. So that is a definite plus.

Life would be so much easier with an out going personality!!! But i deep down think thats how i am w/ out my anxiety. Hopefully it will get better from here.

 

[sugaryberries]

For me college and the adjusting has not been that difficult. The only thing that has been semi-difficult is studying and attending class regularly.

I do not feel depressed, nor have I ever depressed in my life. When I am sad I know why but it doesn't last very long.

I wish I could make myself make some friends. That would be nice.

I never necessarily wanted to leave HS. I think I liked it better because it was cheaper and easier to get involved in things and make friends because you were constantly around the same people everyday.

I remember this kid who I met in 8th grade , after I moved. We were always in the same classes in HS, so it was nice to talk and joke with him all the time about everything, but I never hung out with him outside of school. Things like that are nice.

 

[sutiono]

I get so uncomfortable around people I dont know, its really hard for me to ever meet people in classes. Even if they say something first, I have such bad anxiety symptoms and blank out and dont know what to say. I am slowly loosing contact with the very few friends I had in HS, and I am lonley ... A lot.

That was so true. When I first came to US as a freshman in high school I could hardly finish a sentence in English at all. I don't know if that was plain culture shock but I had fear speaking with people. Even when some nice people started a conversation I was too afraid to respond to them. I thought that everyone must have hated me so much as a guy who does not speak English with a stupid attitude. At that time I hung out only with Chinese-speaking friends because I felt less intimidated using my native language. Fortunately, I met several nice people when I joined the track team second semester. They accepted me and my English started to improve. But even as I became more fluent in English my avoidant tendency still did not change. Last year was the worst. I literally had no friends in any of my classes. I was so depressed and full in anger when everyone else was not paying attention in class and I was left alone in a table by myself. This year I am doing much better though. At least I could start a sentence or two with other people. But somehow I still feel being held back when talking to attractive people or my teachers. I think you should try to find other shy people or people who don't talk a lot and share a sentence or two with them. At least I feel less intimidated talking to shy people.

 

[newshyguy]

yo

im college too!!, im a freshman, well, i wana say that one of my most anxiety provoking situations in college is well , riding the bus with other students, omg. i tried not to make eye contact with other students but then i start to make it and then i get self-conscious, i dont like riding the bus

another anxiety provoking situation is sometimes with my roommate , we dont communicate much and at first i was like "shoudl i be friends with him or what?" then im like "should i talk to him more often?" but if we dont have much in common i dont think there is anything to talk about or need to be close friends, but i also dont wana be rude to him and i wana be cool with my roommate and his girlfriend , so sometimes i usually get mixed feelings and dont know what to do

another anxiety provoking situation is making friends , i find it so hard especially if they are girls, its just that im always quiet, and act rude, and i notice i just act so rude, cold, and unfriendly by the way, there are many hot girls in college 8O

i gotta tell you, i am the type of guy who is more likely to go into depression (i used to have depression a long time ago but then i impressively beat it ) im not like a strong guy, you know , im a little more sentimental.
and in college sometimes there are days when i feel sad and it gets difficult to keep my head up and look for hope. since im not a strong guy by nature, i get my strength from other places, but the most important one i see is from religion and from God.

but honestly high school and college, well the only difference i see with anxiety, is that there are far more anxiety provoking situations, even in the room where i sleep, and since in college there are more things i gotta do and learn by myrself, it requires life skills, and my anxiety usually gets in the way.

 

[lovestobehated]

oh my gosh, I just found this site, and I am completly new. I know exactly how you feel. I transferred mid-year, so everything is 10 times worse. I came here knowing no one at all, becuase I didn't keep touch with anyone from high school. I'm so scared of people, but no one seems to understand until now...

 

[Kalima]

hey Reholla et. al,

What kind of anxiety did you experience? Just curious b/c I'm a college student too and having anxiety makes college so much more difficult to get through, as you've expressed before. My anxiety took the form of feeling uncomfortable writing in front of others and walking around alot of people. You can just imagine how this can pose as a major problem somewhere like a college campus, esp. a huge one. I'm not as bad as I was before though, luckily.

Can anyone relate to this? If so, did you figure out how to better handle and/or overcome the problem? Thanks!

 

[Reholla]

Kalima:

hey!! I can relate to everything you said. Ditto to it all. I have gone threw a lot of "stages" of my anxiety, right now Im at what I guess i would call a "functioning" state. i can now go to class and feel ok. I can go public places, and im doing more social things every day.

some people who have had anxiety say that even tho the anxiety was horrible, their studies werent affected by it. I could see that happening, but thats just not the case for me. I cant focus as well in class, its hard for me to speak up if I dont understand the teacher. And when i should be doing hw, sometimes i dwell on how I could be going somewhere with friends.

So this is still something Im working on.

In response to your question...I honestly cant tell you ONE thing that has helped me. I wish there was some type of magic cure, or something you could do that would completely cure our anxiety. The thing about it is, you have to work at it everyday.
heres an analogy if it helps:
--Anxiety isnt like cancer where you are diagnosed, and then either cured or not. Its more of a process like diabetes, where you can get so much better you hardly have it. But its always going to be with you to an extent (as it is with everyone). Anxiety is an emotion, so youre always going to feel it at one time or another. Its just a matter of knowing you can control it. "Do something everyday that scares you." Challenge yourself. If you accomplish something be proud of what you did. If you try going to class, but you leave 20 minutes early, give yourself credit for what you DID, not what you didnt do. Heopfuly this helps

 

[decadeOfSA]

My SA started my first year of college about a decade ago. As a result, I quit school. I'm going back now though thanks to Xanax XR.

 

[Anathema]

I'm a senior in high school and I can't wait to get out of here! Kids in my school are way too critical and judgmental. I'm overly sensitive to criticism so this is a major problem. I hope college kids are better...



By the way, I'm new to this site, too. It's pretty cool finding out that there are people like me out there

 

[Colin]

College is much better in ways. I commute so my experience might be different. You don't find yourself competing directly with anybody, therefore you don't feel you are being judged against your peers. In most cases, you are just trying to pass or get a 60% unless you plan to go to grad school. But don't aim for just a pass of course.

On the other hand, if this closeness to your peers is what kept you achieving academically, you might find a lack of direction. Also, there is very little social pressure to keep you focused (unless you have strict parents or close friends at university) so you might end up dropping out because the anonymity of everyone is just too distracting. I dropped out for two years and then returned.

Although you are surrounded by tons of people your own age and circumstance, you will probably get frustrated that you no longer have the opportunities like in high school to talk to fellow students. You'll have to actively search and step into opportunities more than in high school (sign onto extra-curricular lessons, events, even clubs if you can manage).

Oh and best of luck, I'm struggling through it too, all-in-all it is not too different from high school and I'm rooting for us SA's wherever the fight may be.

 

[Thesephotographs]

Definately. It has only become clear this year that this makes me the most anxious everyday. I moved to a new school with a few of my friends last year and while last year I thought initially it would be good, give me a chance to start a fresh where noone knew me, it just seems to have gone down hill this year. The friend I spent alot of time with last year in my free lessons left school and my other friends seemed to have made alot of new friends. While I have made new friends I don't know if they are 'real' new friends if that makes sense, how do you know when a line has been drawn into friendship. Well anyway they sit in the common room with two whole groups of new friends and I just feel like I don't know whether I really belong there or not. The common room makes me the most anxious, I can't walk in, I don't know if my friends will be in there and if they're not, I get worried I'll have to walk out again and look stupid. Or they'll be no spaces for me to sit down or if there is it will be by people who I don't know who really like me or not. So I basically miss out on my friends at school which makes me really upset. I often want to ring or text them and see if they're in there beforehand but then I worry that they'll think I'm paranoid. I spend my breaks often just hiding in the toilet or finding someone to do which often results just in going into town and buying food.

 

[ioanna]

hi.i have been almost a year in college and really its difficult for me.i had a friend who was with me and i tried to talk to her and say how lonely i felt but she couldnt understand.now she left and i stay.you cant imagine now how i feel.i have to stay in college walking around alone-which i cant do this so i stay in class pretending that i have work to do-and waiting the bus to go home.its been difficult and i hope to finish college soon

 

[Caseums21]

I have been out of high school now for 5 years. I did join the Air Force until I was injured and was sent home. That was a depressing year for me because I loved being in the military and putting on the uniform everyday.

Now I'm planning on going to college. The bad thing is, not every college has the program I want to do (x-ray technician). There are only two schools near me and one about 2 hours away. I thought about going to the one two hours away and thought that maybe that would help my anxiety. Then I thought about it and I don't want to spend thousands of dollars and not sure if I can handle it.

The two schools near me, one is a community college and the other is a school in a hospital. I like the school in the hospital but it's so hard to get in that program. The one at the community college is also hard but not as difficult.

I did go to community college for one semester to get some credits to help me out. I did very well in my four classes (two being honor classes). I was so proud of myself but that was only one semester. In high school, I didn't care about school. I always planned on retiring from the military. I never thought I would get injured so I guess I was naive. I don't know how I would be with two years of school and I'm afraid of spending so much money and possibly not graduating. I wish I didn't have to go to college but I can't find a job that pays well to support me without college degree. I don't have kids nor am I married. So I only have myself to support.

I get so many nightmares about college that I wake up having an attack. For people who have anxiety and go to college, I definitely give them props. Thats really hard to do but thats taking a huge step into helping yourself. I just wish I was that strong.

 

[Zettie]

I can totally relate to all of you. I though college life wouldn't be so bad but I completely hate it! It is so hard being hours away from my family. Having social phobia anxiety is multiplied like by 1000 at college. Worst of all I have a roomate so I feel uncomfortable and stressed like 24/7. When I'm alone I feel fine, and sometimes during the night I'll just wander the halls lost in thought. Classes are horrible, especially my art class because I'm so nervous of being judged or criticized. I cannot wait until this school year is over but then next year i have to come back. I wish I could end this evil cycle!!