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LaurenSanskritLove

LaurenSanskritLove

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Part of that reflects me I think, I am a very stubborn person lol and my freedom and privacy I am so VERY VERY protective of... I haven't commited to anybody or even let anyone TOUCH me in over 3 years now, the thought of sharing life with people seems ultimately... suffocating to me, its only been since I became agoraphobic that i've become so protective of my personal space and freedom of living... I never used to be this bad. But I don't like myself as a person in so many ways, I don't like who I am when I'm in a relationship, so I avoid it, I don't like who I am when I drink alcohol, so I haven't drank in years... I just try to avoid the person I come if I endure a tiny bit of confidence, I feel like there's a person inside me thats really messed up my past for me, and I try to keep her SO contained. Sadly it's come to extremes and now i'm in a big rut lol but... i'm starting to move on to walking the dog now, going out into the woods and fields, it's fine when there's no people poking around, so... I think its become more of a social disorder for me, just.. interracting with people in general seems such a task, I just look at them with a blank face... if I listen to someone speaking, for some reason I find myself getting REALLY tired, it's so draining to me I don't know why =\ But getting sleepy from it has only started happening recently I should look into that lol
 
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