CeeJay1981
Banned
We are all living in what I call a comfort zone. You can imagine this comfort zone as a circle with you at the center and everything you want just outside it. In order to get what we want we need to expand our circle of comfort.
Lets look at an example from my own life. I used to be terrified of approaching attractive girls that I didn't know and starting conversation. I used to spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it. Since I knew that the only way to get around the fear was to push through it I set aside some time that I devoted exclusively to finding attractive girls and approaching them. I figured that asking for directions would be a good place to start.
The first approach was absolutely terrifying. My pulse rate shot off the scale and my body was flooded with adrenaline. My legs went weak and I could hardly walk. All kinds of negative thoughts took hold of my mind like "People will think I'm a stalker if I approach," "She might be offended," and "I'm too much of a loser for her anyway." However, I somehow just knew that I HAD to do this. My life was going nowhere and the time had come to take a risk.
So what happened? Well, after all the panic and worry she actually turned out to be the most charming and sweet girl I had met in a LONG time. She actually told me that she was feeling a bit lost herself because this area was unfamiliar to her. She started chatting away as if we had known each other for years.
What the hell was going on? Wasn't she supposed to ignore me and tell me to "X%&$ OFF!"?
Boosted by that interaction I approached three other girls. One was in a hurry to get somewhere and wasn't very forthcoming. Another was Polish and couldn't speak English and another was actually quite shy and I could barely make out what she was saying. Wow! What an experience. Of all the possible outcomes I NEVER could have predicted ANY of the ones that actually happened.
I went home feeling a much different person. In fact I WAS a different person in the sense that my perception of other people had shifted and changed. All those preconcieved ideas I had about what was "supposed to happen" were completely false. From now on, approaching strangers and asking for directions would be a breeze - I had expanded my circle of comfort.
I believe that we are all living in a circle of comfort. For some of us, that circle is quite large and most everyday activities that require us to lead functional lives fall easily within our circle. Some of us however, for whatever reason, live in very small circles of comfort which can make life a huge challenge. These circles have either always been quite small or have shrunk down as a result of circumstances in our lives. For me, my circle of comfort was exposed as being inadequate when I was about to leave home for university. The idea of exposing myself to a highly social environment filled me with dread and I couldn't go through with it. After that I fell into a major depression and completely withdrew from society deflating my circle of comfort at the same time.
So here is my challenge to you guys:
Do something today which is just outside your limits. Make sure it's not too far outside though but just enough that you feel a sense of achievement after doing it. If you get really nervous about approaching a member of the opposite sex on the street but an older person of same gender is only a reasonable stretch then go approach the older person. Depending on the situation you will experience the same feelings I did but, when you push through them, you will also experience the shift in consciousness that follows.
Good luck with whatever you decide to try and I would love to hear how you get on. Post your success stories in this thread.
Take it easy guys.
Lets look at an example from my own life. I used to be terrified of approaching attractive girls that I didn't know and starting conversation. I used to spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it. Since I knew that the only way to get around the fear was to push through it I set aside some time that I devoted exclusively to finding attractive girls and approaching them. I figured that asking for directions would be a good place to start.
The first approach was absolutely terrifying. My pulse rate shot off the scale and my body was flooded with adrenaline. My legs went weak and I could hardly walk. All kinds of negative thoughts took hold of my mind like "People will think I'm a stalker if I approach," "She might be offended," and "I'm too much of a loser for her anyway." However, I somehow just knew that I HAD to do this. My life was going nowhere and the time had come to take a risk.
So what happened? Well, after all the panic and worry she actually turned out to be the most charming and sweet girl I had met in a LONG time. She actually told me that she was feeling a bit lost herself because this area was unfamiliar to her. She started chatting away as if we had known each other for years.
What the hell was going on? Wasn't she supposed to ignore me and tell me to "X%&$ OFF!"?
Boosted by that interaction I approached three other girls. One was in a hurry to get somewhere and wasn't very forthcoming. Another was Polish and couldn't speak English and another was actually quite shy and I could barely make out what she was saying. Wow! What an experience. Of all the possible outcomes I NEVER could have predicted ANY of the ones that actually happened.
I went home feeling a much different person. In fact I WAS a different person in the sense that my perception of other people had shifted and changed. All those preconcieved ideas I had about what was "supposed to happen" were completely false. From now on, approaching strangers and asking for directions would be a breeze - I had expanded my circle of comfort.
I believe that we are all living in a circle of comfort. For some of us, that circle is quite large and most everyday activities that require us to lead functional lives fall easily within our circle. Some of us however, for whatever reason, live in very small circles of comfort which can make life a huge challenge. These circles have either always been quite small or have shrunk down as a result of circumstances in our lives. For me, my circle of comfort was exposed as being inadequate when I was about to leave home for university. The idea of exposing myself to a highly social environment filled me with dread and I couldn't go through with it. After that I fell into a major depression and completely withdrew from society deflating my circle of comfort at the same time.
So here is my challenge to you guys:
Do something today which is just outside your limits. Make sure it's not too far outside though but just enough that you feel a sense of achievement after doing it. If you get really nervous about approaching a member of the opposite sex on the street but an older person of same gender is only a reasonable stretch then go approach the older person. Depending on the situation you will experience the same feelings I did but, when you push through them, you will also experience the shift in consciousness that follows.
Good luck with whatever you decide to try and I would love to hear how you get on. Post your success stories in this thread.
Take it easy guys.
