Catch 22?

[mandapandahead]

So here's a little bit of my personal situation. I wonder if anyone else is at all similar.

So obviously having SA I really would just like to not ever have to be put in social situations and just stay inside all the time, which is what most people say they do. However, I've always felt like I HAD to do things. For example: continuing on in school (even though sitting in class ALWAYS makes me feel anxious throughout the entirety of the lesson and I've gotten my final grade lowered because of not participating), going out and venturing to "normal" places like the mall, restaurants, or movies, small parties etc. I always felt like people would judge me or whatever if I didn't do "normal" things so I've always just sucked it up and done them. It really sucks because I always feel super anxious doing any of these things and half the time I can't think straight. I always just end up being super quiet and awkward. However, I feel anxious when I think about what people would think of me if I didn't do these things...

I don't even know if I explained that right, but... I just feel like I can't win either way. I go out and do all these things but I end up feeling worse about it in the end and it's never as fun as it should be...

 

[LucidPanda]

Yep...

Judged for being a loner. Judged for being bad at being it otherwise.

Just got to keep on reminding ourselves, that we are seriously making a mountain out of a mole hill. We aren't being judged as much as we think we are in reality.

People are much more compassionate and understanding. Just look at this place

 

[Helyna]

At least I'm not alone. The main reason I don't fit the SAD diagnostic is that I don't avoid things. Not unless it's really easy to avoid. I'm afraid that I'll look bad for not doing something. I guess it's good for me, but I feel like I'm trying to lie to myself and everyone.

What's with the panda names?
And would you please shrink your signature picture? It stretches out the whole page!

 

[mandapandahead]

Yep...

Judged for being a loner. Judged for being bad at being it otherwise.

Just got to keep on reminding ourselves, that we are seriously making a mountain out of a mole hill. We aren't being judged as much as we think we are in reality.

People are much more compassionate and understanding. Just look at this place

I know my thinking is completely irrational and that not every single person is judging every little thing I do. But the thoughts are still there which makes me feel even worse. It's so frustrating! But yes, as long as you look in the right places you can find nice, understanding people. That's why I like my summer job. Everyone there is great!

At least I'm not alone. The main reason I don't fit the SAD diagnostic is that I don't avoid things. Not unless it's really easy to avoid. I'm afraid that I'll look bad for not doing something. I guess it's good for me, but I feel like I'm trying to lie to myself and everyone.

What's with the panda names?
And would you please shrink your signature picture? It stretches out the whole page!

I feel like I'm trying to lie too! I try and avoid things as much as I can, but most things I feel are unavoidable. And it definitely just makes the anxiety worse.

Panda's a nickname of mine since my real name's Amanda... and they're pretty cool animals.
Whoops sorry. I thought I'd linked to the smaller version, guess not.