can you change your personality??
- Thread starter shy_girl
- Start date
cloudy
Member
Firstly, don't be so hard on yourself! I am always focusing on the things I don't like about myself as well, but you should make a list of all your good qualities, and read it aloud to yourself every now and then. I do that and, although it's hard at first, it helps.
well to answer your question..yes I think you can absolutely change your personality, maybe not overnight but over time, if there are things you don't like (even though as a social phobic, you are probably way too cruel to yourself). you could try to focus completely on the other people in particular situations..paying attention to their feelings and what you might be able to do to help them or make them happy. Hope that helps..
well to answer your question..yes I think you can absolutely change your personality, maybe not overnight but over time, if there are things you don't like (even though as a social phobic, you are probably way too cruel to yourself). you could try to focus completely on the other people in particular situations..paying attention to their feelings and what you might be able to do to help them or make them happy. Hope that helps..
charlieHungerford
Well-known member
I think personality can be changed, I changed my personality loads, I didn't like things in myself and managed to eliminate it all and focused more on becoming the person I really liked in my personality and I now have the personality I love loads, I wouldn't change anything about my personality other than hoping I will soon be confident and have no SA and therefore can be myself and let my personality shine even more.
I don't think its possible to change personality into being totally different however, I mean our personality is who we are, I cannot imagine someone who is quiet as a mouse, never really says much to change into becoming extremely confident and like the leader of the pack socially. But I would like to think when I finally become confident and beat SA that my confidence will really change me even more for the better.
My advice would be to concentrate on those parts you like in your personality and work on being that person as much as possible. Consciously cut out everything you dislike in your personality. You will find you start liking who you are more and more all the time and you really do gain a lot of confidence that you are a very likeable person.
I don't think its possible to change personality into being totally different however, I mean our personality is who we are, I cannot imagine someone who is quiet as a mouse, never really says much to change into becoming extremely confident and like the leader of the pack socially. But I would like to think when I finally become confident and beat SA that my confidence will really change me even more for the better.
My advice would be to concentrate on those parts you like in your personality and work on being that person as much as possible. Consciously cut out everything you dislike in your personality. You will find you start liking who you are more and more all the time and you really do gain a lot of confidence that you are a very likeable person.
SocialRetahd
Well-known member
In order to make a change like that it may take years.
LittleMissScareAll
Well-known member
I'd kill to be able to change my personality.
SocialRetahd
Well-known member
I've gone through personality changes for the worst so it must be possible in the other direction.
pinkputter
Well-known member
I am not trying to be "vacisious" or whatever the word is for this... but,
Overcoming SA is changing your personality..... and THEN SOME!
I guess that part is pretty obvious, but specific examples at least for me are:
From Perfectionistic to High Standards
Overly Sensitive to.... Compassionate
theres tons more
But I think instead of looking at it from changing YOU, YOUR personality, just look at it as changing traits that EVERY one has but we have to a bigger degree.
And another thing ... dont label yourself as shy, or annoying, or anything else. I know the whole world does, even ppl without SA... but really "shy people" dont exist.... you can act shy in certain situations ... but that doesnt mean you are labeled shy the rest of your life.
Overcoming SA is changing your personality..... and THEN SOME!
I guess that part is pretty obvious, but specific examples at least for me are:
From Perfectionistic to High Standards
Overly Sensitive to.... Compassionate
theres tons more
But I think instead of looking at it from changing YOU, YOUR personality, just look at it as changing traits that EVERY one has but we have to a bigger degree.
And another thing ... dont label yourself as shy, or annoying, or anything else. I know the whole world does, even ppl without SA... but really "shy people" dont exist.... you can act shy in certain situations ... but that doesnt mean you are labeled shy the rest of your life.
xtina_fan81
Well-known member
I dont think changing ur personality is what you do when you overcome SA. Myabe this is just me, but i think i have heard others say it before..that SA IS NOT MY PERSONALITY. If it was, i would be like it everywhere. I just know in myself that its not part of my personality. I think what we all need to do id figure out if it is or not, because that depends on what can heklp us overcome it. Basically, I think in my experience that SA is about learning to reveal your personality, not changing it.
For example, I have SA. So i cannot show people who i really am, my REAL personality is hiding underneath the quietness. I know this because when im talking online, my personality, sense of humor and all that shines through, simply because my disorder is social and to do with face to face interactions in social things. At home Im loud and out there and thats ME. Ive never really thought about if some people just have this as their personality and others dont, so i dont know, but i do know that SA is not necessarily a personality trait at all. Im proof of that if not anyone else. You need to figure out whether is it a trait of yours first, or if its simply something youve developed thats stopping you for the real you coming out..I mean, when youre in a social situation...do you feel like you're being yourself? or do you feel like you want to open up but you cant? There are some questions you have to ask yourself before you go thinking about "changing".
For example, I have SA. So i cannot show people who i really am, my REAL personality is hiding underneath the quietness. I know this because when im talking online, my personality, sense of humor and all that shines through, simply because my disorder is social and to do with face to face interactions in social things. At home Im loud and out there and thats ME. Ive never really thought about if some people just have this as their personality and others dont, so i dont know, but i do know that SA is not necessarily a personality trait at all. Im proof of that if not anyone else. You need to figure out whether is it a trait of yours first, or if its simply something youve developed thats stopping you for the real you coming out..I mean, when youre in a social situation...do you feel like you're being yourself? or do you feel like you want to open up but you cant? There are some questions you have to ask yourself before you go thinking about "changing".
yazeed_KSA
New member
well, if i discovered something wrong in my personality i would change it immediatly.
thanks
thanks
Jack-B
Well-known member
Brave-girl,
Yeah, you!
You want to change something thats constantly changing? - Personality
Your biggest problem is that you are holding onto an image or idea of who you think you are (shy-girl), an image of yourself which you believe to be true, when in fact its not true at all, its constantly changing.
Find a photo of yourself, this is you in that moment, that photo seems to show you as being fixed in time. You have changed since then, if you take a photo today you will see yourself differently.
The problem is that in your mind there exists a photo of you who is humourless, self centred, annoying, mean, etc, etc. And you constantly think thats who you are. So you feel you need to change your personality, of course you do!! Because you relate to yourself like that, fixed in time, thats how you will feel, but this image you have of yourself is nothing more than your imaginations cruel deception.
If you held in your mind a kinder photo of yourself, like the one where you are funny, kind, confident and you have been all of these, then maybe you would actually not want to change who you are by changing your personality?
You dont need to change your personality, you need to change how you see your self, this photo in your mind. You have given love to others, you have been generous, warm, gentle, friendly etc yet these photos have been put in the album and filed away, within your mind.
You can make a list as long as your arm and study it trying really hard to be the person you want to be, yet, that person already dwells within you, you need to see that person, then naturally without much effort at all, everything good will come to you.
There's nothing 'You' need to change, except how you see yourself, which is changing all the time, so accept it.
Jack
Yeah, you!
You want to change something thats constantly changing? - Personality
Your biggest problem is that you are holding onto an image or idea of who you think you are (shy-girl), an image of yourself which you believe to be true, when in fact its not true at all, its constantly changing.
Find a photo of yourself, this is you in that moment, that photo seems to show you as being fixed in time. You have changed since then, if you take a photo today you will see yourself differently.
The problem is that in your mind there exists a photo of you who is humourless, self centred, annoying, mean, etc, etc. And you constantly think thats who you are. So you feel you need to change your personality, of course you do!! Because you relate to yourself like that, fixed in time, thats how you will feel, but this image you have of yourself is nothing more than your imaginations cruel deception.
If you held in your mind a kinder photo of yourself, like the one where you are funny, kind, confident and you have been all of these, then maybe you would actually not want to change who you are by changing your personality?
You dont need to change your personality, you need to change how you see your self, this photo in your mind. You have given love to others, you have been generous, warm, gentle, friendly etc yet these photos have been put in the album and filed away, within your mind.
You can make a list as long as your arm and study it trying really hard to be the person you want to be, yet, that person already dwells within you, you need to see that person, then naturally without much effort at all, everything good will come to you.
There's nothing 'You' need to change, except how you see yourself, which is changing all the time, so accept it.
Jack