Can anyone relate?

[freesyle]

Hey I'm a 19 year old girl, in her first year of uni. I am so glad that I found this site.... I finally understand my thoughts and feelings and don't feel quite so alone.

I think I have always felt a sense of inferiority around others I'm not sure when it started or whether I've always had this. Some of my symptoms include:

being afraid of what others are thinking.... overanalysing situations.... sometimes I cannot answer the phone, door or leave the house as I am so self aware and other times it is because I do not trust others or think they do not like me. I am unable to take a compliment and if someone wants to date me I think its a practical joke... or be my friend I convince myself I am not as good as them and they probably just feel sorry for me... I cancel going out a lot of the time... sometimes I cry when Im getting ready because I feel so ugly and its silly because I know I'm not deep down because I have dated some lovely people and get compliments, I often feel jealous of others and wish to be anyone other than myself, I feel extremly guilty even when I am doing a nice act for someone else... its kind of ridiculous really. I never feel comfortable or confident even at home infront of my family I feel horrible even making dinner infront of them.... almost embarrassed?! The frustrating thing is that I know I am not stupid but feel like I will not be able to get a job after uni cos somedays I cant even go outside!! and keeping to a plan stresses me out so much cos I never know how I will feel at that point

I keep this well masked, have friends and a lot of the time make myself do things but I almost had a bit of a breakdown and I'm currently on anti depressants and i've started CBT therapy. I don't think I know how to be happy

Just wanted to ask anyone if they have had the same symptoms? Any advice on getting better and want to wish everyone luck with their own personal situations
thanks xx

 

[Meow]

Hi!

I just wanted to say it's cool that you wrote all that down, I know it probably took guts and you explained it really well

I totally relate!!! I feel exactly the same way, and the worst part is having to make excuses because you can't really explain to someone what's going on.

I don't have any advice for you because I am only just now starting therapy myself, I have also made an appointment to get some anti depressent/anti anxiety meds. I have tried a couple before with no luck, so I am hoping this specialist can help me.

Good luck with every thing I hope the therapy etc works, because I know how hard this is to live with.

 

[freesyle]

Hey Meow,

Let me know how u get on with your therapy! Do you have problems leaving the house? This is probs my biggest thing to overcome... it feels loads safer inside xx

 

[Meow]

Yes I do, I only really leave when my husband is with me... that's tough to admit. I don't drive, I'm afraid to learn. I'm afraid to use public transport because of the other people, I only really go out alone when I'm exercising on my bike or jogging... but I even hate that because people look at me.

It really does suck to be that way doesn't it? I hope every thing gets better for you, let me know how things go with your therapy also. I REALLY do understand how painful it is to live with this problem. It's the worst