Boredness, aloneliness, and anxiety.

[ilostmysoul]

Hey everyone I'm with 1 hour of sleep right now so if this sounds weird, that's probably the reason.

I'm new here and I will probably make an introduction thread soon but for now I want to discuss a bit of what's going on in my life.

So I'm 17 and I'm a male. Never had a girlfriend. I have 1 close friend that has been my friend since 5th grade, one other friend that isn't that close to me, and then I have some other people to whom I talk occasionally. But neither of those actually invite me to hangout with them unless something major happened.

Because of that, I have barely any social life. Most of the people I know like to adventure into the night and get drunk and party and it's such a big deal: "Oh god I was sooo wasted last nigh ahahahah! How awesome is that?" :applause:. And it just sucks because I do like adventure, but I like real adventure. I like good stories to tell people, not stuff like "I drank 10 shots!" (people can drink after 16 here).

So I can't talk with this kind of people. What am I going to talk about, right? But then my mind starts spinning around, telling me "Dude! You're almost 18! You need a girlfriend ASAP. What the hell are you waiting for?!" or "Dude! It's Saturday and it's sunny. Why are you home?". And I feel bad. And then I try to impress people and obviously that only makes matters worse, especially when I don't feel connected to them in the 1st place.

And finally, this town sucks. It's a freaking medium-sized town, but it has nothing. No clubs, no places where you can meetup with new people who like the same stuff you do, no anything. But still most people know most people. So if I do something stupid I gain an instant whole-town rep.

TL;DR / Conclusion: And I get bored because I have nothing exciting to do outside on a sunny day or a warm night since nobody invites me anywhere (although I could ask them too, but like I said I don't like the clubing thing), alone because I have no way to make new friends, and anxious because I feel like my life is wreck and I need to get friends and a girlfriend like teens are supposed to do.

Thoughts?

 

[EternalIce]

Hello and welcome.
I am in a similar situation as you are basically, never had a girlfriend, often alone, and I am almost 19.
I dunno, when it's nice out I go walking around, I know that's not so exciting but it often is better than being cooped up inside all day.

 

[Odo]

I grew up in a similar situation.

I think you should stop trying to impress girls and just talk to them like a normal human being. They're never going to be comfortable with you if you're putting on an act and they don't even know who you are.

I get that it sucks but I doubt that people think of you the same way you think of yourself. Just start talking to girls in your classes... stop worrying about yourself and focus more on them. Also, drop all of your expectations and learn how to flirt.

Things will fall into place if you take the initiative.

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I'm an 18 year old female, and I had the same feelings running through my mind when I was in school, and I still struggle with some of those feelings now. I live in a town where there is not much to do too, and it can get hard finding things to occupy myself and be entertained with without falling into a crowd that I personally do not want to be around. In school I would always here about how drunk a person got at a party or how high they got the night before, and that was never for me, and still isn't.
I did try to find other forms of entertainment and to develop friendships with people who accepted me, didn't judge me, and who I felt comfortable around, but my anxiety combined with the fact that I am a very quiet person by nature made it hard at times, and it still does. I have some people who I can call acquaintances, but not many that I can call friends, so I can definitely relate to your feeling of lacking a social life. For me what seems to work best is hanging out with people who I feel comfortable with like I said earlier, can have fun with, and people who don't pressure me to do things I wouldn't feel right doing.
I'm in the same boat with not having been in a relationship yet too. While I do realize I'm young and there is time for a relationship to possibly develop for me, I admit that it'd be nice to have a guy to talk to, to care for and have him care about me, to be intimate with, and basically to feel comfortably being my nerdy, goofy, shy self around. I agree with an idea that another user posted above me about starting with small talk with girls that you find suit you and interest you, but I do know that it can be much harder to actually do than to think about doing. My small talk skills are definitely not the best and often I find myself feeling much like this: :kickingmyself: because of my need of improvement on them.
I don't know if I've been much help, but I do hope things come together for you.

 

[ilostmysoul]

Hello and welcome.
I am in a similar situation as you are basically, never had a girlfriend, often alone, and I am almost 19.
I dunno, when it's nice out I go walking around, I know that's not so exciting but it often is better than being cooped up inside all day.

Thank you Eternal
Yea I agree. Probably gonna start doing that. It sure is a better option than laying in bed.

I grew up in a similar situation.

I think you should stop trying to impress girls and just talk to them like a normal human being. They're never going to be comfortable with you if you're putting on an act and they don't even know who you are.

I get that it sucks but I doubt that people think of you the same way you think of yourself. Just start talking to girls in your classes... stop worrying about yourself and focus more on them. Also, drop all of your expectations and learn how to flirt.

Things will fall into place if you take the initiative.

Nice advice and motivation Odo! Thanks!

I'm an 18 year old female, and I had the same feelings running through my mind when I was in school, and I still struggle with some of those feelings now. I live in a town where there is not much to do too, and it can get hard finding things to occupy myself and be entertained with without falling into a crowd that I personally do not want to be around. In school I would always here about how drunk a person got at a party or how high they got the night before, and that was never for me, and still isn't.
I did try to find other forms of entertainment and to develop friendships with people who accepted me, didn't judge me, and who I felt comfortable around, but my anxiety combined with the fact that I am a very quiet person by nature made it hard at times, and it still does. I have some people who I can call acquaintances, but not many that I can call friends, so I can definitely relate to your feeling of lacking a social life. For me what seems to work best is hanging out with people who I feel comfortable with like I said earlier, can have fun with, and people who don't pressure me to do things I wouldn't feel right doing.
I'm in the same boat with not having been in a relationship yet too. While I do realize I'm young and there is time for a relationship to possibly develop for me, I admit that it'd be nice to have a guy to talk to, to care for and have him care about me, to be intimate with, and basically to feel comfortably being my nerdy, goofy, shy self around. I agree with an idea that another user posted above me about starting with small talk with girls that you find suit you and interest you, but I do know that it can be much harder to actually do than to think about doing. My small talk skills are definitely not the best and often I find myself feeling much like this: :kickingmyself: because of my need of improvement on them.
I don't know if I've been much help, but I do hope things come together for you.

I totally feel your pain Jasmine. Thank you for sharing your story and advising