Blub's Tale of Woe

blubs

Well-known member
A friend of mine from this site recently asked me about my school days & experience of SA. I wrote a bit about them & although it was a LONG time ago I realised I'd never talked about them before...so I thought it was time to get them off my chest.
So here I go...
I was bullied all through secondary school. To understand why I accepted it for so many years I have to remember that, when I started secondary school, I was already withdrawn & had no self worth because of my homelife.
Soon after starting 'big school', my best friend & I were asked on a date by 2 boys in the year above. We said no...as we were so young & had never been on a date (we still played hide & seek at break!). Shortly after that the 2 boys started shouting insults at us...they were fairly tame..& we shouted back at first & laughed about it.
Over a few months it escalated...they began calling us lesbians...which obviously now I can see is no big deal...but at the time seemed terrible. They singled me out more (probably because I was weaker & showed more signs of stress)
Every time the bell went....& hundreds of kids would be jostling through the school corridors they would see me & yell 'LES!' 'LES!' 'LES!' until they had peoples attention & then they'd point me out (they didn't know my name)
I'd be terrified & humiliated & tearful. Break & lunch were the same. We stopped going to the cafeteria & had crisps everyday instead of a meal. We spent all our breaks in a little gap between the carparks & the back of the science building.
It got worse over the years....with other people from their year joining in. I felt hunted & ashamed all the time...& became unable to be the center of attention for any reason.
The bullying lasted until they left the 6th form...
Amazingly...I managed to keep the same friends through school & we had a lot of fun everyday..despite being bullied. It was only when I left school at 18 that the extent of the damage showed...as without my friends I was unable to mix with anyone new...& over the years have become more & more isolated.

So thats my little Tale of Woe..
Luckily I have a strong relationship with my boyfriend now & a baby on the way...so I have a lot to be happy about.

If you've read this far...hats off to you! Its written more for the writing than the reading...but thanks if you have read it.

Its time to post it off & be done with it. For good.
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
wow blubs, that's terrible. people always say "oh kids will be kids" but i think this is a prime example that sometimes it goes beyond what they expect and deep down would probably want. people without problems like ours don't realize the damage they can do to a person. i'm sorry sweetie and i hope it feels good to get it out!

and now to happier subjects... when are you due?!?! 8)
 

blubs

Well-known member
Thanks Chilling Echo,

The bullying ended half my life time ago now...but the feelings it caused became so deep-rooted they have lasted ever since. Hopefully by looking at it objectively I can dis-entagle the way I was made to feel from the person I actually am.

The baby's due in May :)
I think being pregnant has brought a lot of feelings about my childhood up to the surface...I want my baby to be a lot happier than I was!
 

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
that makes sense blubs, plus, you've got alot of hormones going on and i know when you mix some chillin_echo in with a bit of hormones... not a good combo. for me that is. i tend to get depressed.
 

marc72

Well-known member
response.

good fo you that you are having the baby and a steady boyfriend (relationshiP) in fact, other moms or those exercise classes for future moms you can meet new women firneds etc...
wow it was a dramatic experience for you. it is sad people can be so mean. glad you brought the topic up.
 
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