Austria..even Germany, Hungary, Slowacia,..

[Takeda]

Hello..

this is my first thread..and honestly I don't expect any "useful" unswers(pls don' get that wrong!).

I'm just so lonly and lost in this world that there are times when I'm unable to surpress these thinikns like..you are so worthless, you have no freiends, why don't you just die?..and many more.

Maybe..if it would be a good thing to try to meet other people, who at least understand my a very, very little bit. I don't know anyone, can't even tell someone my stupid stories/thoughts/feelings..

My greatest wish yould be to find someone, whom I can understand. In my opinon it's the greatest gift to have such a person.. I would really ENJOY to listen, to try to help, anything..

I'm lost in Space..no one there to save me..to weak to save someone else..
But togehther..at least there would be a chance..to make the life a little bit more meaningful..to give it..a reason..

Yeah, you got me..I'm a desastreous loser..
to bad that I'm still a human..

I'll wait for ansers, even if I know that nothing will change..
Thank you so much for listening to me, thank you..

Bye

 

[theslowesthand]

Hi there. Welcome to the site.
Thought i might post something here, since nobody has as yet & has been a few hours...

I'm not really sure i'm the idea person for "advice" on such matters, and i tend to get bogged-down in details, but i like to give most things/problems a "bash", so here goes!

So my basic points are these:
• People can be "useful", in real world & online, but they have their limits. So i tend not to "trust" people so much, if thats the term to use. Sometimes they can be a great support, but most of the time, most people simply don't have the energy/patience/.. to provide this support (as you said, "to weak to save someone else"). Another words, sometimes you can trust certain people, sometimes you can't. Take a rather extreme example - crisis hotlines: sometimes i have been able to get thru, other times not, occasionally they seem to "disconnect" my incoming dial even before picking up, often they are "ruled" by a time-limit & some can get a bit on the "rough" side in trying to finish the call before the time-deadline is reached ... and these are people who are meant to be the support!!! (at times its a bit of a joke really).
And family, well unless i'm in a good mood, have things to talk about, then i don't think they want to really be around me.
So anyway, for myself, i tend to regard people in general as highly over-rated .. which is one reason why i'm constantly trying to be a "self-helper" (ie avoid seeking outside help).
• I used to think along the lines of 'if only i could find the right people, then i'd be okay', but now i realize all that was wishful/fantasizing fairytale stuff. Unfortunately the real world is not like that (if it was then we wouldnt need fairytale/fantasy books & films for children & their adults would we?). There's a very good reason why much of the modern world seeks regular escape in fantasy.
• As i'm getting older, i seem to be getting more & more lonely. Perhaps its due to reaching the "in-between" stage, where i have discarded much of my "false supports", realizing more about the impermance of all in life .. but not yet having swum over the "channel" to the other bank, where i am presuming all will be "made right" (or is this just a fantasy? i'm hoping that my eventual "salvation" is a real thing, but i'll only know if/when i get there)
• "I'll wait for ansers, even if I know that nothing will change": I tend to view most "answers" as not solutions, but possibilities, or opprtunities in disguise. The "answer" is just a mental concept, having no energy in itself to propel you into action - that must come from you. But even if you believe in any particular answer, it still doesn't mean one will change, as change is an active process - and if nothing (significant) changes, then nothing will change. Just heard this now in a song listening to 'hearing only what you want to hear ... my friend misery': maybe if only selectively hearing, then wont actually "believe" most answers provided/found, as your "friend" misery is trying to keep you close & believing in same hopeless stuff, & :. rejecting all new ideas/possibilities???. I've recently been thinking that misery/desperation/etc is actually a great motivator, and has propelled me start doing some things in past few days that have put off for months/years, but the changes i've made are now making me lonely/depressed & so have temporary stopped me in my tracks (fear is usually a "demotivator"; pain can be either??). (i apolgize about this being all "higglety-pigglety", as these ideas are quite new to me, but i will work on & simplify soon i hope --> i might post back here what i end up with)

 

[Takeda]

I guess you are right..
If only I were a stronger person. If only..just the dreams died along time ago.

What I'm doning here on this world. Every day when I try to get myself out of the bed.."Why", "Why", "Why suffering, why another fight.."

In my life, everything I could have won, is gone. A dead Body lying on the ground..why I'm still breathing? This seems so unfair.

But anyway, bye.

 

[anomicdeer]

I haven't thought of this until now, but I've been here for years and right now I'm trying to become fluent in German. I'm about A2 and I would love to practice with someone if you are patient enough.

If you'd like to make me you're new SA friend then you may message me and help me practice German.