I posted on another forum about my social anxiety issues and these were some of the comments i got.
"Be confident."
"Pick your head up and quit being so shy. Sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt you...unless you let them. Quit worrying about who likes you and who doesn't."
"Nobody wants to see people walking around with a grin on their face, but you are the opposite extreme, walking around with your head down. Don't you understand that there is a MIDDLE way? Hold your head up, smile a little now and then, say hello to people. That's all it takes.
Remember, being selfconscious, shy and awkward is RUDE."
F*cking hell!!!!! I HATE the fact that social anxiety is STILL so unheard of and that people are so ignorant! Oh! I'll just STOP feeling anxious! Silly me! Why didn't i think of that?!!!! :kickingmyself::kickingmyself::kickingmyself:
Oh dear god... why must ignorance be so rampant? About everything? Why do people talk out of their rear ends all the time? Is there a good explanation for it? I guess consideration and understanding isn't necessarily mandatory for survival, hence why so many seem to lack it and go on to live well and procreate. Ugh.
You can't post about social anxieties amongst people who don't have any experience with it. Might as well try to convince them you spotted big foot. They will always dismiss our illnesses as something we need to just get over. It's sad.
I guess consideration and understanding isn't necessarily mandatory for survival, hence why so many seem to lack it and go on to live well and procreate. Ugh.
I procreated. Wasn't all that hard considering the first child and the last child were totally unplanned. :idontknow:
It's kind of the same as when people who have depression just get told to 'cheer up'. Yeah thanks, if I could do that, I think I would have done it by now mate..
Ok, so i responded to the person on the other forum who said i was rude. I called them ignorant. This was their reply.
"You objected to my saying you were being rude, but I stand by it. You are thinking of yourself instead of the other people: and THAT is rude. TRY thinking about how the other people you meet might be feeling, and try to HELP them, the way you wish people would help YOU. The moment you focus on someone else instead of yourself, you'll lose your shyness.
There are far too many people these days preening themselves on having an interesting 'anxiety disorder' when all they really are is self-centred. Stop thinking about yourself and how other people see you, and start thinking about taking an interest in other people, and watch a miracle happen."
Ok, so i responded to the person on the other forum who said i was rude. I called them ignorant. This was their reply.
"You objected to my saying you were being rude, but I stand by it. You are thinking of yourself instead of the other people: and THAT is rude. TRY thinking about how the other people you meet might be feeling, and try to HELP them, the way you wish people would help YOU. The moment you focus on someone else instead of yourself, you'll lose your shyness.
There are far too many people these days preening themselves on having an interesting 'anxiety disorder' when all they really are is self-centred. Stop thinking about yourself and how other people see you, and start thinking about taking an interest in other people, and watch a miracle happen."
Ugh, what utter bullshit. This is the crap people come up with when they just have no clue what it's like to have this problem. If it really was that simple, many of us would be rid of it already. I mean, gee, if the only issue was that I was rude, I would be overjoyed! I could fix a rudeness problem. Anxiety is far more difficult to deal with than that. For us, it's often an automatic emotional reaction that has nothing to do with thinking only of ourselves in the way this poster is saying.
I mean... you could just tell yourself it's one person on the internet saying this so who really cares, but sadly this person's view probably reflects many people's. And that scares me. It's just so misunderstood, as are many other mental/emotional disorders even still. Depression is still treated in this same way by so many people. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say something along the lines of Person with depression = spoiled whiny brat, or Person with depression = weak-willed narcissistic loser. How can these people say what's going on in another person in that way? Can you see into their minds? So, so sad...
Ugh, what utter bullshit. This is the crap people come up with when they just have no clue what it's like to have this problem. If it really was that simple, many of us would be rid of it already. I mean, gee, if the only issue was that I was rude, I would be overjoyed! I could fix a rudeness problem. Anxiety is far more difficult to deal with than that. For us, it's often an automatic emotional reaction that has nothing to do with thinking only of ourselves in the way this poster is saying.
I mean... you could just tell yourself it's one person on the internet saying this so who really cares, but sadly this person's view probably reflects many people's. And that scares me. It's just so misunderstood, as are many other mental/emotional disorders even still. Depression is still treated in this same way by so many people. I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say something along the lines of Person with depression = spoiled whiny brat, or Person with depression = weak-willed narcissistic loser. How can these people say what's going on in another person in that way? Can you see into their minds? So, so sad...
I agree. It actually makes me really sad because if that's a lot of people's attitude then people who have mental health issues, whether it's social anxiety or something else, are going to be more reluctant to come forward and ask for help.
O - M - G! I don't blame you for being angry! I've had all those sorts of comments myself, and it drives me nuts. It's a bit like being told, "Keep away from them then" when being bullied.
I suppose people (some of them) are just trying to help and don't mean to be offensive or annoying, but I do wish they'd think a bit deeper before coming out with that sort of "advice".
Stick here, we'll have an SA party and invite everyone, and we'll know we all understand how the other feels.
