Warlock
Well-known member
I can't go to any of my "friends" to talk to. Not only do none of them give a damn about me, it is socially unnacceptable and embarrasing to talk about that kind of stuff. They just want to exploit me for their entertainment, and thats all they want.
Now I don't have any friends because since I've matured, I can't find anything in common with any of them. I don't care about cars, sports, or talking about hot girls. I don't care about Yu-gi-oh, and doing stupid stuff like throwing salt on each others heads is really boring. "Ahahaha, I put salt on your head" "Now I'm gonna put salt on your head", "Lets kick each other in the balls, I'll go first". Video game parties are boring as hell, and I suck at skateboarding.
Male friends really do suck that much. That is the vast majority. They aren't even friends because they don't care about each other.
My dad only talks to me when he is giving me work. My mom only talks to me when she is asking about something like "What do you want for dinner?" or "Do you still wear this, or should I get rid of it?".
Both my sisters hate me. One is antisocial torwards me and another avoids me, not that avoiding me takes much effort since I almost never leave my room.
This means that the ONLY valueable relationship avaliable to me since my family is messed up and the boys of society are messed up is to get a girlfriend.
This is problematic. Most romantic relationships aren't open are they? My mom is depressed and my dad doesn't care and they don't talk about it. As interested as I am in the physically intimate part of the relationship, thats pretty worthless if I can't tell my partner whatever is on my mind. How many girls are really interested in this, or even expect it? How many couples talk to each other and are honest about it?
I'll tell you what, its not that many. Finding someone will be extremely difficult if not impossible. Human relationships are in general cold and uncaring.
I'm really upset because everyone just wants to use me. My only potential release is to find a girlfriend, but the majority of possible girlfriends out there will not only use me, but instead squeeze me for everything I'm worth.
I realize not all people are like this, but there are none of those few people in my life and probably never will be.
I want friendships and a girlfriend and my family to be different, but I can't get that in this world so I don't try.
If I asked out girls based on their looks (this is assuming I had the courage to ask them out, and I can't just do that I have to know them first), I'd be asking them out all the time. If I asked girls out based on their personality, I think there is one girl I would have asked out, and she would have rejected me.
Most people reject me simply because I'm a loner (I couldn't maintain a conversation if I tried), and those who don't see me alone would reject me so I don't even make an effort to meet them (even if I want to), and on top of that talking to people is difficult and anxious.
I'm seriously considering suicide because I'm just going to be used by people for the rest of my life, especially when I graduate Highschool and get a job. Life is just going to be boring and stressful and I don't get to live. I can't live, I can't finish anything I start and I can't take pleasure in almost anything.
The only difference between me dying later and dying now is that if I die now, I'll save myself from alot of hell. It wont matter either way when I'm dead, but life is too awful to sit around and wait to die.
Now I don't have any friends because since I've matured, I can't find anything in common with any of them. I don't care about cars, sports, or talking about hot girls. I don't care about Yu-gi-oh, and doing stupid stuff like throwing salt on each others heads is really boring. "Ahahaha, I put salt on your head" "Now I'm gonna put salt on your head", "Lets kick each other in the balls, I'll go first". Video game parties are boring as hell, and I suck at skateboarding.
Male friends really do suck that much. That is the vast majority. They aren't even friends because they don't care about each other.
My dad only talks to me when he is giving me work. My mom only talks to me when she is asking about something like "What do you want for dinner?" or "Do you still wear this, or should I get rid of it?".
Both my sisters hate me. One is antisocial torwards me and another avoids me, not that avoiding me takes much effort since I almost never leave my room.
This means that the ONLY valueable relationship avaliable to me since my family is messed up and the boys of society are messed up is to get a girlfriend.
This is problematic. Most romantic relationships aren't open are they? My mom is depressed and my dad doesn't care and they don't talk about it. As interested as I am in the physically intimate part of the relationship, thats pretty worthless if I can't tell my partner whatever is on my mind. How many girls are really interested in this, or even expect it? How many couples talk to each other and are honest about it?
I'll tell you what, its not that many. Finding someone will be extremely difficult if not impossible. Human relationships are in general cold and uncaring.
I'm really upset because everyone just wants to use me. My only potential release is to find a girlfriend, but the majority of possible girlfriends out there will not only use me, but instead squeeze me for everything I'm worth.
I realize not all people are like this, but there are none of those few people in my life and probably never will be.
I want friendships and a girlfriend and my family to be different, but I can't get that in this world so I don't try.
If I asked out girls based on their looks (this is assuming I had the courage to ask them out, and I can't just do that I have to know them first), I'd be asking them out all the time. If I asked girls out based on their personality, I think there is one girl I would have asked out, and she would have rejected me.
Most people reject me simply because I'm a loner (I couldn't maintain a conversation if I tried), and those who don't see me alone would reject me so I don't even make an effort to meet them (even if I want to), and on top of that talking to people is difficult and anxious.
I'm seriously considering suicide because I'm just going to be used by people for the rest of my life, especially when I graduate Highschool and get a job. Life is just going to be boring and stressful and I don't get to live. I can't live, I can't finish anything I start and I can't take pleasure in almost anything.
The only difference between me dying later and dying now is that if I die now, I'll save myself from alot of hell. It wont matter either way when I'm dead, but life is too awful to sit around and wait to die.
i almost feel the same like you ... but ... dead isn't an alternative. Maybe is worst to be dead then alive. You must have some little memories about better moments in your life. Don't let those people change your soul. You have to live this life somehow with or without people. Do things that make's you smile. Sometimes i enjoy loneley moments. Don't let peple to use you. Is simple. If u let them to take advantages from you they don't even care about it so is better to say 'No" when they ask you fore someting. Just treat people like they treat you. If someone treats you badly do the same. If someone seems to be nice and friendly show him friendship.
