Anyone try this technique to fight negative thoughts/worries

[froghat]

So, I just recently started meds and therapy and the other day I tried one of the CBT exercises they suggested in a book to overcome my fear of girls. Basicallly, before I go to a busy place (ie mall) I open up wordpad on my computer and start writing down things a hot girl in the store might be thinking. I try to use this to get my mind off my own negative thoughts and put myself in her shoes. So for example, it would be something like this:

She might be worried that she's not skinny enough

She might be worried that she's not pretty enough

She might think I'm too good looking for her

She might look depressed because she hates her job

She might look depressed because she has a broken family

She might look away because she's nervous

She might look away because she's shy

Two girls in the store might be laughing because they told a funny joke

Two girls might be laughing because they are in a really good mood

etc...

I just started this, but I'm hoping over time it will improve my thinking patterns and help me realize that everyone is self concious about stuff and they aren't always focusing on your negatives. We'll see. Anyone else do something like this? How is it working out?

 

[chris420]

Hey, make sure you work through all of the CBT including the 'B' bit, is very important to get lasting change. The thinking exercises alone won't change much.

Great work tho keep it up!

 

[froghat]

What's the B bit? lol

 

[chris420]

The 'B' in CBT is safety behaviours, it's a key thing with SA. If you've got the Gillian Butler book it's all in there just work through it.

 

[froghat]

Oh ok, btw this is Tednugent from the SAS board. Yeah, I have to change my safety behaviors. My main one is avoiding eye contact. Good news though. 2 days ago I went into a bookstore and talked to this really good looking girl who worked there. It wasn't perfect, but still really good and made me feel awesome. It seems whenever I stay too quiet, I start thinking bad thoughts and feel nervous. I asked her where the self help section was, but she didn't know, because she was new so she had to look it up on the computer. It was quiet for a bit and I started getting anxious, so I smiled and said, is this your first day or something... and she explained how she just started etc... It wasn't a long in depth conversation lol, but I made eye contact and she seemed like she was happy that I made an effort to talk to her. She seemed kind of flirty, so that was nice. lol And when I was done browsing she made a point to walk past me and ask if I found what I was looking for when I was walking towards the exit. I guess she was just doing her job and it could of been a coincidence that she was walking past me right when I started to leave, but hey, maybe it wasn't lol

Anyways, I'm going to Best Buy and Walmart today to see if I can do something similar.

 

[Atlantis]

Write this on your computer...

"She might not get along with you because you leave her nervous."

This is the problem, do not try to avoid it thinking that she might be worried with other things. Replace all the phrases you have written by that one, and try to remember it by memory, not write it somewhere.

Nervous people make other people nervous. Even if she has many other problems you will be just one more because it is really complicated to talk with someone who is all nervous and sensible.

Don't try to not be nervous you will probably fail. You are weak so don't pretend you're strong. Always remember that.

 

[sketchy24]

The 'B' in CBT is safety behaviours, it's a key thing with SA. If you've got the Gillian Butler book it's all in there just work through it.

You mention that book a lot. Have you gotten over SA because of it or has it helped out a lot at least? I see so many posts about how they're failures and rarely any success stories put up here but if you have one or posted one somewhere because of this book, I'd like to see it.

These forums could use a bit more positive and helpful posts than everyone just relating to each other about how sucky their day was