any1 feel causes of their SP differ from others on this site

[cawth]

Hi, i have been reading many of the forums about how peoples social anxiety/phobias started and what they are about, and many i can relate too, however my route causes and the thoughtsi have seem quite different in many ways... so i just wondered if any others felt this way and if so would you like to talk about them?? wb cawth xx

 

[Funkymunky]

Hi Cawth,

What kind of thoughts are you referring to?

I read your introduction post about how this started for you but unfortunately while I can only relate in some ways I can completely empathise.I think a vast amount of mine is depression,self-esteem and definitely over thinking.Even back when life was full of promise and I was possibly the most social person I knew,people often would joke or advice me to stop over anylising,philosiphising etc.

I guess its alot more complicated than that even and theres dozens of things I've not touched on here but its suprising how much it engulfs you over the years and no matter how much you learn,you still have barely any of the answers.Not even the professionals do!One day life will come back for most of us and well be stronger for this no matter how unfair it seems sometimes.For me personally when that day comes I'll take off and travel the world lol but untill then just gotta keep wandering this labyrinth looking for the exit :?

 

[thequietone]

I do feel this way, but I don't find it a problem. I understand that there is not a single person exactly the same as me. We are all unique. I suppose that can be somewhat sad because that means we are also alone, although like Funkymunky said, everyone here can empathize. I still think it would be pretty cool to have an identical twin..... someone you could completely understand and vice versa....then again twins are very different sometimes too.

I guess I feel different because nothing has really happened to me to make me this way. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier if I had someone/thing to blame. I have an imperfect, but pretty good family, people who care about me.

I was diagnosed with a number of other disorders (labeled quite young) Mental health problems have been with me all along, it was never something that crept up on me, no one ever hurt me.

I never really hear other people talk about that sort of thing. :lol: I guess it's too boring a reason!

 

[cawth]

I sometimes wonder if it would be easier if I had someone/thing to blame.

i know it feels that way, but its probably good you dont have something or someone to blame, i mean when i have bad days i can get quite bitter towards the people that caused this to happen to me, which is probably not a good thing. do you know what i mean, or am i just rambling? wb xx

 

[cawth]

most social person I knew,people often would joke or advice me to stop over anylising,philosiphising etc. :?

also i was just reading over this page again and i definately think that there is a strong link between those with over active imaginations like ours and people with SP or SA. Maby thats also why so many people with these problems seem to be creative and into some form of art, like music or drama. do you think? where or are you guys into any thing like that? wb xx

 

[Funkymunky]

Yeah thats something ive given alot of thought too aswell Cawth.There's definitely a link between creativity and depression so I think you could be right about the SP connection.

As for me im a musician...well a solo one (guitar/piano).Slowly putting together a home studio just now but obviously its an expensive & complicated business.I used to have a small one but was forced to sell when i had to give up work and get treatment.Ive always been a daydreamer with an over active imagination and at school I only ever excelled in art or english (im a left handed taurus so I guess im one big stereotype lol).

I shared a four year relationship with an actress like yourself once and what first attracted me to her was a certain a sort of sensitivity or vulnerability she wore.Looking back she was very driven but I get the feeling that either if she allowed herself to ponder or dwell,or was forced to by some external circumstance like your own she may have been susceptible to Sp or depression also.

She's still creative and studying architecture down in Oxford these days but has definitely desensitized herself alot in order to achieve other things.At the time i think she was forced to sacrifice acting and alot of the sensitive sides of herself i had grown to love in order to run away from something that she feared may get the better of her.She became less empathetic towards people and more financially driven etc.None of this was really her fault,people had never been very empathetic towards her and dont get me wrong im so proud for everything she is achieving but I always look back and mourn the change.She was my girl and a large part of me will always love her.

 

[cawth]

thats sooooo sweet! is she still with you now or did you drift apart? yeah its hard cause the jobs you can get involved with in the arty world can often be even more difficult for sp sufferers, i mean somebody who's really into music like you, will have barriers to cross when it comes to get your music out into the public surely?? i mean would you be frightend by playing in front of large groups of people?? im more worried about getting out of situations i get stressed in, like if i wanted to get out of a situation and a drama teacher or director wouldnt let me. this is why i have put a great deal of thought lately into wether this is definately the right job for me. i mean it would be so much easyer to settle for a half arsed office job where i really wasnt pushing myself into these scary situations. its quite upsetting when its some thing i love so much. wb xx

 

[thequietone]

Over active imaginations....yeah, definately. It's a gift....and a curse. :roll:

I'm an art major, if that tells you anything. My two best subjects also were english and art. It took a lot of work to stretch my brain around numbers and logic and science!

I don't personally know many people like myself, so it is good to hear that there are other shy-creative-daydreaming people out there. I bet there are tons of us, but we're all two shy!

 

[behindcloseddoors]

ermm.... well were does this leave me, my strongest subjects are maths and logic.

I feel I distictly lack imagination and over analyze everything which leads me to disect everything everyone says or does and I can mostly only see the bad things.

Hence I am social phobic not because I imagine people don't like me but because I'm so busy being nervous and analyzing them I can't seem to make that connection.

Atleast thats the way I see it or may be I'm just imagining it. :?

 

[kima]

I don't think it's an over-active imagination that's the problem. Being artistic is to do with creativity, a talent for math is to do with analytical skills. I don't think it matters who you are, when it comes to mental problems it is the addictive thought processes that we all have in common. For me anyway, I often feel as though I can't control my thoughts of fear/worry/anxiety, they just take over.

 

[cawth]

I don't personally know many people like myself, so it is good to hear that there are other shy-creative-daydreaming people out there. I bet there are tons of us, but we're all two shy!

well im not really shy at all, in anyway cause my sp isnt really to do with that side of things but there do seem to be many other people on this site who are the same as you. so what kind of art are you studying? wb xx

 

[scatmantom]

I dont know what caused mine...I dont care, all I care about is living as normal a life as possible.

 

[Funkymunky]

thats sooooo sweet! is she still with you now or did you drift apart? yeah its hard cause the jobs you can get involved with in the arty world can often be even more difficult for sp sufferers, i mean somebody who's really into music like you, will have barriers to cross when it comes to get your music out into the public surely?? i mean would you be frightend by playing in front of large groups of people?? im more worried about getting out of situations i get stressed in, like if i wanted to get out of a situation and a drama teacher or director wouldnt let me. this is why i have put a great deal of thought lately into wether this is definately the right job for me. i mean it would be so much easyer to settle for a half arsed office job where i really wasnt pushing myself into these scary situations. its quite upsetting when its some thing i love so much. wb xx

It must be tremendously difficult sometimes but if acting is what feels right for you,deep down,then you definitely have to pursue it! I saw your photo in Macbeth and you seem to shine on stage however you feel inside.I bet its most definitely not visible out there,if indeed it ever is.As long as you feel its your love then whatever you do though after these scary situations,try not to doubt yourself strongly enough to consider throwing in the towel.It may even be something you become accustomed to (fingers crossed).SP may follow you around in other walks of life but in acting,with every situation your thrust into,perhaps after experience and time only a normal level of trepidation will ensue.

All actors face troubles I guess.What with the confidence needed,belief in themselves,having to leave themselves behind and slip completely into another character regardless of what personal problems are running around in their own minds (better not go on too much it probably wont help lol but you know) Point is though that yours are an unfair and unfortunate circumstance but I think if you keep working through this and getting to do what you love,getting that buzz or feeling of satisfaction everytime you do.Then it can only make you stronger in the future which you will need in this career.Think of all the successful actors who have battled things like panic attacks,social phobia,agoraphobia,stammers or just stage fright recurances to get where they are.You could be one of them,im not talking hollywood (although who knows hehe?) but just fighting this to get to do what you love.Its a battle very much worth its rewards eh? :wink:

Sorry about the late reply by the way.Ive been away alot recently and my PC is also playing up so its been difficult getting on here :roll:

 

[Jack-B]

Our imagination creates everything. If no one had initially imagined this site for example, it would not exist. There would have been no idea or concept of Social Phobia World.

Because our mind literally creates how we see the world, we need to be careful not to over anyalise. Anyalsis is great if used correctly because we understand the deeper nature of things but if we are familiar with over anyalising our self or others, we will tend to see or create faults.

A great way of ceasing to over anyalise our self and others is to focus our attention on one thing at a time and to resolve to not allow our mind to stray, less is more.

Jack