Any hints for making phone calls

[4myself]

One situation I hate is making phone calls to people, even business phone calls, I try and take a deep breath before I pick up the reciever, I also write down the main topics that I need to talk about before making the call. Does anyone else have any advice on how to make phone calls in a relatively calm manner?

 

[ignisfatuus]

I'm probably not the best person to be giving advice in this area as I avoid the telephone like the plague, but I've noticed that making the call right away rather than dwelling upon what you are going to say seems to work the best. I tend to make conversation trees and write all my dialogue out beforehand. Usually I just blank out mid phone call in complete terror and then struggle to stop myself from hanging up.

 

[4myself]

oh my goodness, I can so relate. Thank you for replying, can I ask what techniques you use to stop yourself from hanging up mid call? Writing out what you want to say before you make the call helps heaps hey. Good advice about not delaying making the call, now that you mentioned that I realised that the hardest calls are the ones that I put off making. I also need to get people out of the room when I am making calls, I can't stand people listening in on my conversations!. Phew at least I am not alone in my dislike of the telephone. Thank you, you have made me feel a lot better after a disaster of a call!.

 

[jesuschristschild]

I'm probably not the best person to be giving advice in this area as I avoid the telephone like the plague, but I've noticed that making the call right away rather than dwelling upon what you are going to say seems to work the best. I tend to make conversation trees and write all my dialogue out beforehand. Usually I just blank out mid phone call in complete terror and then struggle to stop myself from hanging up.

yes thats because worry is the primary cause of anxiety (learned in a serman)

my advice would be to love them......be selfless, honestly truthfully love them, and let your own desires go, no matter who they are just love them, think of things you would do for them if they asked you, and you should be more relaxed

Jesus said "love thy neighbor as thyself".....when we dont love those around us, we tend to hate ourself....humble humble humble.......when we love our neighbor as ourself, it also makes it so you dont care if you screw up because you've made them equal to you

just love the people on the phone

amen

Much Love

Jamie

 

[ignisfatuus]

can I ask what techniques you use to stop yourself from hanging up mid call?

Mindlessly blubbering on is less terrifying to me than the thought of what the person will think if I hang up (although I beat myself up endlessly after the fact over the errors I made).

I also need to get people out of the room when I am making calls, I can't stand people listening in on my conversations!

I have to do the same thing. No one can be around or I'll freeze before the first word even leaves my mouth.

 

[crazyfairyx]

I used to hate using the phone, I just couldn't at all, but I can to a degree now, business calls I have to do as soon as the thought enters my mind cos otherwise I wimp out lol

I'm not so bad chatting to my friends on the phone, but I tend to come off as hyper, cos I laugh loads and talk waaaay too fast I phoned one of my mates last night, and I dialed the number like 6 times, hanging up just before the last couple of numbers, cos I was like 'Oh god what if I dialed the wrong number'

Mindlessly blubbering on is less terrifying to me than the thought of what the person will think if I hang up (although I beat myself up endlessly after the fact over the errors I made).

Yeah lol, I always get off the phone and start thinking 'Oh god why did I say that?!'

At the end of the day, it's only a phone, and the more you use it the easier it becomes, and very few people actually enjoy using the phone, so just breathe deeply and try to chill

Naomi x

 

[Boundless]

I hate using the phone >.< allways get some 1 else to do it unless i know the person im ringing.

 

[black_mamba]

I can only offer this advice (this is what I do):

If I know roughly what I'm going to be saying in the call, I'll rehearse it before hand. Also, I'll write down what I need to be saying, and with answers to the potential reponses of the person on the other end of the line.

I know it's a little far fetched, but it helps me a lot. The only problem is if you get too hooked on this little script, you may become flustered if the other person responds in a way you didn't anticipate.

 

[dirigent]

There are some ways that make me esasier to make a phone call.


The first of all, you choose when to call; you are the master of the situation.

Then, if you call, there must be a good reason for that. It’s ok to make a plan, even to write it down on a piece of paper, but more important is to think WHY – why do you call at all. It doesn’t matter how you say what you have to say, but just to send or exchange the information.

Think about the other side. It is a person with all its fears and weaknesses, like all of us.

At the end, stop preventing yourself from shaking and all that symptoms that go with the fear. There is only the voice which has to be controlled. Let yourself sweating and shaking, nobody can see you. Concentrate on your voice only.

 

[Kaitlynn]

4myself wrote:
I also need to get people out of the room when I am making calls, I can't stand people listening in on my conversations!

ignisfatuus wrote:
I have to do the same thing. No one can be around or I'll freeze before the first word even leaves my mouth.

I too prefer to use the phone when no one else is around!! I used to work in a big open plan office and I hated making calls thinking that everyone else would listen in. It wasn't so much as in wanting privacy but the fear that they hear me fumble and stutter! (I don't stutter when I's not nervous. The mere fact that I have to be on the phone makes me stutter!) Now I work with my husband and our work areas are just separated by a wall. I still have the same problem - I hate making calls and I hate it even more when he is around. I must say that I dread making calls to business associates more than social phone calls. A number of times, I had to be on a conference call and it was dreadful. I had all the points written down but my mind went blank. I wasn't so sure whether I was grateful another person was there filling in the "silence" or whether it would have gone better if I were alone.

I have not conquered this phobia yet. Now, what I tend to do is to get away to somewhere quiet with my mobile and make the call. Putting on the headset seem to relax me a bit as well but it does not alay my phobia. I hope I will overcome this soon as I do need to make lots of business calls. I put them off quite a bit.

 

[Horatio]

I used to hate using the phone, I just couldn't at all, but I can to a degree now, business calls I have to do as soon as the thought enters my mind cos otherwise I wimp out lol

I'm not so bad chatting to my friends on the phone, but I tend to come off as hyper, cos I laugh loads and talk waaaay too fast

I can so relate to you there... thats one thing my psyciatrist is trying to get me to learn, when one gets anxious often they try to speak too fast. By conciously talking slower, one trips up on their words a little less often.

I too have to make a lot of business calls which is never easy, I always chicken out and write emails instead which is really bad of me. being actively involved in meetings is still my main nightmare situation though