Another Noobie

[boodizm]

Have posted a few replies but just noticed the intro section and thought i'd better write a few things so people know me a bit better. Here goes.

I have sp, anxiety and a bit later on, depression which for me it all started around the age of 11. I am 23 now and after all those years i'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Being a very secretive person, I have not told anyone what I suffer from, not even my very loving and otherwise supportive parents, I initially thought it would go away, and then I started the process of denial which was, looking back just silly. Because my parents didn't know I was made to do things that I otherwise would have shied away from. This forced exposure, I believe has helped me to a large extent forcing me to desensitize but pretty much ripped me apart during that time becoming suicidal at one point and I wish I could have found much needed help through people like yourselves throughout that period, but I always thought i was alone in this. Being South American born and being brought up in Australia i also had to cope with feeling even more different and removed from what was going on around me. However I joined this community to try and do something to help other people who are where I have been and recieve a little support and help myself.
The progress I have made in the last year has been excellent and i'm now trying new challenges i never throught i would attempt. I plan on moving out within a year which will be a real test but it will give me a much needed sense of progression.
I still have a way to go but am feeling a little more positive and calmer when I think about my future these days.
Look forward to talking with you all.

 

[garnet]

Hey Boodizm and all other SPW users!

Sooo glad to have found a decent website at last where I can chat to folks going through the same thoughts and emotions as me!

Forgive me if this first post sounds a bit naff but in all honesty, I've never used one of these forum thingies before.

I too have recently diagnosed myself with SP/SA/SAD - whatever you want to call it! I believe I have probably suffered from it from my early teens up until now, and I'm in my early twenties! I'm a bit gutted that I've had to deal with the angst and anxiety all these years of knowing I don't feel able to do things that others find quite simple, simply because I had never heard of this condition before. Don't you think there needs to be way more publicity?

Like you Boodizm, I have no desire whatsover to let my friends or relatives know about my phobia. I don't know if it's cos of my nature/personality, or that I'm slightly ashamed of it. Maybe i realise too that if i didn't know about it before, then what chance is there that other people will understand? I just don't want people to think I'm weak or a failure. Deep down, I know it's not our fault that we have these phobias, but I'm sure you experience the negative 'self-talk' where you convince yourself that you are weak.

I did tell my parents though and I think I'm glad I did, cos its nice to be able to share with someone when you have made significant progress. But I'll be sure to let all you guys at social phobia world when I make any breakthroughs, no matter how small! I would love to hear how you lot are all getting on too, not that I'm nosy or anything! :lol:

I would be interested to hear how your social phobia affects you Boodizm. For me, I am fine with one-to-one situations, or even small groups of people I know well. But if i'm asked to do presentations at university, or even to stand up and say my name and give a brief introduction about myself in tutorials, I just wanna run.. and run.. and run! 8O

However, I have managed to pull myself out of a 'slump' and focus on fighting this trial that I've been presented with. Over the past month I have read a considerable amount about social anxiety to try and educate myself about it, had two cognitive behavioural therapy sessions and booked myself in to join a self-help group. Believe me- that was hell for me! :evil: It's so hard trying to keep the momentum up. I'm frightened that if i let a day slide by without pushing myself in some way that i might lose some of the progress I've worked so hard for.

Anyhow, I've realised that I'm leaving a MASSIVE post, so I'll leave this for now.

I'm looking forward to logging on to this site in future. Good luck and stay positive!

Garnet

 

[Chilling__Echo]

Because my parents didn't know I was made to do things that I otherwise would have shied away from. This forced exposure, I believe has helped me to a large extent forcing me to desensitize

hi boodizm, i've suffered since i was 11 as well and i'm 20 now. i had to do alot in high school and college and had to work as well so that desensitized me. i eventually had to force myself, and develop my own tactics to make it in public. i feel i am mostly fine to this day, but only b/c of the new thought patterns i have to force myself to think even to this day. i'm glad you've had the same success i have, to too am here to share the good news that this can be overcome

and a welcome to you garnet

 

[boodizm]

Thanks guys great to hear from you and thanks for the support.
I think it may be a good idea to tell my parents about it sometime in the future, but like I mentioned i am fiercely secretive and since I was young i always had the 'I can do it on my own' mentality which stops me from telling anyone. I don't yet know if it's a personality trait of mine or just part of my problem.
It's good to hear garnet, that you were able to tell your family and its worked out well for you.
Also Chilling-echo its good to hear you've had some success aswell. I just hope that it isn't my mask thats been improved and not the real me.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

i'm sure it is. working helped my SP the most b/c as soon as my feet step into the store, i'm no longer me, i'm an employee. or at least i try and take that mentality. and it's helped me develope my "mask". i'm sure you are still you.

my mom knows but my dad doesn't. but i'm very close to my mom and she could tell i had a problem. her support has helped, her understanding really. it helps. if you think your parents would understand, i highly suggest you come out to them, or somebody. i didn't like to tell my friends, now my best friend knows. i'm mostly afraid of them looking for the signs that give away my SP, like blushing. and the last thing i want is to be scrutinized any more.

 

[garnet]

Thanks for the welcome, Boodizm and Chilling_Echo!

I can totally relate to what you were saying about feeling scrutinized and not wanting to reveal to too many people about your social phobia. I feel that I wouldn't gain anything by talking to them about this, cos I've had to deal with it myself for so many years. I really dont want to make them feel uncomfortable either, or like they have to 'tip-toe' around me.

I'm actually really chatty with my friends, so I know it would come as a shock to them to know what an ordeal i find making phone calls, presentations or talking to groups. In fact i reckon this would make them v. curious and try to subtley observe my behaviour. :roll: [/quote]

 

[crazyfairyx]

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