wozonky
Member
i was in a fantastic relationship and we were going out for like 9 months until a phone call saying she wants to end it saying that there was a "loss in connection" so i took it the way i usually do which just ends up hurting... holding it in.. im so good at it i didnt even know it and i felt happy for a while and actually i grabbed a new gf almost sub conciously i know realise that i was just filling a gap and me and her broke up later and it was so short cause it really was just a rebound.. after that i got extremly emotional like out of my mind emotional so guess what i did... grabed a new girl i broke out as soon as i could cause i then knew that its because of the one 9 month girl and i broke down.. i flipped out and tried to call her to see what she would say to come back... then i realised how much better it would be to drop it but i still wanted to call... she never responded.. next day her father calls telling ME to never speak to her daughter... she didnt even give me a warning... since the break ups ive been feeling a huge depression witha chain of thoughts like ill just make another mistake so just forget about a girl friend... i thought i had a group of friends but ive been so nuts that ive been drifting away from all of them... i thought i was fine until i saw this really cute girl that talked to me i backed down cause i got a huge wave of feelings saying that dont do it im not good enough... im still carrying emotions with me... i just have no love for myself that i use the love from others.. no love insight..... im in love with falling in love... i want a hug