I always have negative thoughts. I get irritated when my family wants me to smile. I am homesick because I miss my home in Florida. I tried so hard to go to school, but my grades are getting lower and lower. I'm suffering on whats going on in the past. I got bullied, the death of my grandfather, the conflicts between me and my parents. I started self-injury at age 13. My grandma is a hypocrite! She tells me stuff but she doesn't do it! Now my family thinks that self-harm is a joke and I have no one to trust or turn to. I went to Florida to throw my old life away but it got worse. I was expelled in school and years later, I went back to the Philippines. My grandma's maid told me that I was here because I was an embarassment to the family.
Am I suffering depression?
- Thread starter sillyrabbit231
- Start date
I also have some suicidal thoughts but not always. the last suicidal thought was last year. I started to have it when I was 10 years old.
theslowesthand
Banned
It's difficult to say ... you could have chronic, low-level depression
montejocarlo
Well-known member
I think you are. Listen, does your family make you do things you hate doing? If not, would it hurt if you try going along with them? What I mean is, do not resist. Stand firmly in your beliefs and values. Speak up if you must. But maybe you should put some effort to make things work with your family. Reach out. Or at least let them reach you. You said that you get irritated if they want you to smile. Did it never occur to you that it wouldn't hurt to smile and actually feel happy? You don't need to make an issue out of it and get yourself stressed. I have the impression that you are resisting your current environment so hard that you're making the situation worse in your head than it actually is in reality. Maybe it's bad, but you don't have to be miserable because of it. And don't work yourself up over the past. You're not there anymore. Embrace what you have now and make the most of it because that's all you really have.
Your family might not be the most ideal one for you, but that's who they are. You can't change them, the same way others can't change you. Try accepting and understanding them the way you want to be accepted and understood. If they say or do something hurtful, be objective- learn but don't take it personally. If they reprimand you for something you're not guilty of, then shrug it off, better yet, laugh it off.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice. And also for being a little pushy. Just thought you might need it.
I really hope you feel better soon. Tell me if you need to talk.
Your family might not be the most ideal one for you, but that's who they are. You can't change them, the same way others can't change you. Try accepting and understanding them the way you want to be accepted and understood. If they say or do something hurtful, be objective- learn but don't take it personally. If they reprimand you for something you're not guilty of, then shrug it off, better yet, laugh it off.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice. And also for being a little pushy. Just thought you might need it.
I really hope you feel better soon. Tell me if you need to talk.