PhobicNoMore
New member
Hey guys, I figured it would be good to post here and share what I went through. Both for myself and anyone else with social phobia.
First some backround. I'm 21 and i've pretty much had it all my life. Ever since a little kid i've always been shy. I could never act normal with large groups of people. I was always labelled as quiet, but around people I knew and trusted I was the complete opposite. And no matter what i did i couldn't be myself and I never knew why. So I was pretty much always an outsider. It didn't really get too bad up until around grade 6 or 7 though. I can remember crying every night when i went to bed cause I just didn't know what was wrong and had no hope of ever being "normal". I would stay awake every night in bed just cause i dreaded the next day so much. And of course, i would fill my head with all the thigns wrong with me, along with self pity and anger and all that stuff your brain chews on. I Felt like a complete loser cause I couldn't do anything everyone else could do with out even thinking twice. Had no idea why and no idea that there was anything in the world that could help. I got really really nervous just trying to buy a bag of chips at the store. I was really ashamed of stuff like that and to let anyone know about it was unthinkable. Anyway, I was lucky in that I always had a best friend so life wasn't too bad. Even if everyday was one big constant stress out over anything and everything. Like many of you guys I had to do all kinds of things that I was absolutely horrified to do. And there were many things i missed out on or just avoided.
Well anyway, So in comes highschool. Me and my family move to the city. I didn't take this move so well. Big school. No friends, afraid of everything. I was a total recluse. some people would think I was rude. I'd stay at home all day. I'd get really stressed out going anywhere. Pretty much standard for a social phobic. I coudln't even eat lunch in the cafeteria. It can really debilitate you in every way. The worst thing is just not knowing whats wrong. Not even knowing that anything is wrong, just thinking that you're the way you are because you're just a born loser. No hope at all of life ever getting better. It kills your life in so many ways.
That was until I started looking around the internet for stuff about shyness. This was at about the end of highschool or so i'd say. I didn't find anything about social phobia but I did find some stuff on changing how you percieve yourself. I was self conscious of my appearence for one thing. I was skinny as a twig and I heard about it from everyone relentlessly, (really tall and very high metabolism). It would always bother me, just walkin around i'd always think that people are looking at me and just laughing at me to themselves. That kinda thing. The same would go for stuff I'd say and do and so on. Anbyway, I started with appearence though. Whenever I detected myself being self consciouse of my appearence I'd tell myself that it doesn't matter. People aren't really judging me all the time. Nobody cares what I look like. I'm just another smuck walking down the road. To put it in better words, i'm not that important. And even if they are laughing ont he inside, it doesn't matter to me in any way. Just think about it, be logical. Try to pick up on all thsoe negative thoughts, tell yourself that they're wrong. And keep doing this and don't stop. I didn't even know what social phobia was. I was just doing it cause I was absolutely desperate for a way out of the prison I was in.
Think LOGICALLY. Sit down at the end of the day and look back at when you felt uncomfortable and just think about it. Is it that big a deal? Does it really matter? Was it really that bad? Of course it wasn't. I'm just being stupid. Then you put the bad thoughts out of your mind. They'll come back, but keep doing it all the time. Eventually you will make progress. start with small steps. Go to the store and buy something. As you wait in line tell yourself "Nobody cares what the hell i'm doing." If its a pretty girl at the checkout just tell youself "it no big deal. She's just some girl. Its not like shes gonna bite me. I'm not gonna die". Think of how rediculous it is that you're cringing like its life or death and all you're doing is buying a bag of bread. Thats no way to live! Just think away the negative thoughts. If you embaressed yourself and you're stressing yourself out going it over in your head constantly just think about it logically for a second. Its done with. Its in the past. There is nothing you can do. Focus on the present and the furture, dont dwell on the past because all it does is kill you. I know it might not seem like much but it did it for me. It took a couple years, but I did start finding things better after a month. And now, i'm a whole different person. Life is so much esier.
Anway, again I say. Hunt down the things in life that scare you. Start with the small things like going to the store or just saying hi to someone you kinda know, or even a stranger. Or it could be ordering a pizza over the phone or something, anything like that. Think about how small a deal it really is. About how you're just blowing it overboard in proportions. How nobody is really judging you and nobody really even cares whether you sound nervous or are blushing. I'm sure that if they knew about your problem they'd be rootin for ya. So just seek and destroy the illogical thoughts. Recognize them as false and push the negative feelings outta your head. Then try doing some of these small things that bother you. Whether you do good or not doesn't matter. Congratulate yourself and then do it again. And everytime think about how theres nothin gonna kill ya and nothin thats gonna hurt you in any real way.
And remember, you gotta be pretty tough to face your fears every single day, day in and day out. Just living with them it hard enough. So if you can do that you can certainly get rid of it. I know I found living with it way harder than dealing with it, once I found a way.
First some backround. I'm 21 and i've pretty much had it all my life. Ever since a little kid i've always been shy. I could never act normal with large groups of people. I was always labelled as quiet, but around people I knew and trusted I was the complete opposite. And no matter what i did i couldn't be myself and I never knew why. So I was pretty much always an outsider. It didn't really get too bad up until around grade 6 or 7 though. I can remember crying every night when i went to bed cause I just didn't know what was wrong and had no hope of ever being "normal". I would stay awake every night in bed just cause i dreaded the next day so much. And of course, i would fill my head with all the thigns wrong with me, along with self pity and anger and all that stuff your brain chews on. I Felt like a complete loser cause I couldn't do anything everyone else could do with out even thinking twice. Had no idea why and no idea that there was anything in the world that could help. I got really really nervous just trying to buy a bag of chips at the store. I was really ashamed of stuff like that and to let anyone know about it was unthinkable. Anyway, I was lucky in that I always had a best friend so life wasn't too bad. Even if everyday was one big constant stress out over anything and everything. Like many of you guys I had to do all kinds of things that I was absolutely horrified to do. And there were many things i missed out on or just avoided.
Well anyway, So in comes highschool. Me and my family move to the city. I didn't take this move so well. Big school. No friends, afraid of everything. I was a total recluse. some people would think I was rude. I'd stay at home all day. I'd get really stressed out going anywhere. Pretty much standard for a social phobic. I coudln't even eat lunch in the cafeteria. It can really debilitate you in every way. The worst thing is just not knowing whats wrong. Not even knowing that anything is wrong, just thinking that you're the way you are because you're just a born loser. No hope at all of life ever getting better. It kills your life in so many ways.
That was until I started looking around the internet for stuff about shyness. This was at about the end of highschool or so i'd say. I didn't find anything about social phobia but I did find some stuff on changing how you percieve yourself. I was self conscious of my appearence for one thing. I was skinny as a twig and I heard about it from everyone relentlessly, (really tall and very high metabolism). It would always bother me, just walkin around i'd always think that people are looking at me and just laughing at me to themselves. That kinda thing. The same would go for stuff I'd say and do and so on. Anbyway, I started with appearence though. Whenever I detected myself being self consciouse of my appearence I'd tell myself that it doesn't matter. People aren't really judging me all the time. Nobody cares what I look like. I'm just another smuck walking down the road. To put it in better words, i'm not that important. And even if they are laughing ont he inside, it doesn't matter to me in any way. Just think about it, be logical. Try to pick up on all thsoe negative thoughts, tell yourself that they're wrong. And keep doing this and don't stop. I didn't even know what social phobia was. I was just doing it cause I was absolutely desperate for a way out of the prison I was in.
Think LOGICALLY. Sit down at the end of the day and look back at when you felt uncomfortable and just think about it. Is it that big a deal? Does it really matter? Was it really that bad? Of course it wasn't. I'm just being stupid. Then you put the bad thoughts out of your mind. They'll come back, but keep doing it all the time. Eventually you will make progress. start with small steps. Go to the store and buy something. As you wait in line tell yourself "Nobody cares what the hell i'm doing." If its a pretty girl at the checkout just tell youself "it no big deal. She's just some girl. Its not like shes gonna bite me. I'm not gonna die". Think of how rediculous it is that you're cringing like its life or death and all you're doing is buying a bag of bread. Thats no way to live! Just think away the negative thoughts. If you embaressed yourself and you're stressing yourself out going it over in your head constantly just think about it logically for a second. Its done with. Its in the past. There is nothing you can do. Focus on the present and the furture, dont dwell on the past because all it does is kill you. I know it might not seem like much but it did it for me. It took a couple years, but I did start finding things better after a month. And now, i'm a whole different person. Life is so much esier.
Anway, again I say. Hunt down the things in life that scare you. Start with the small things like going to the store or just saying hi to someone you kinda know, or even a stranger. Or it could be ordering a pizza over the phone or something, anything like that. Think about how small a deal it really is. About how you're just blowing it overboard in proportions. How nobody is really judging you and nobody really even cares whether you sound nervous or are blushing. I'm sure that if they knew about your problem they'd be rootin for ya. So just seek and destroy the illogical thoughts. Recognize them as false and push the negative feelings outta your head. Then try doing some of these small things that bother you. Whether you do good or not doesn't matter. Congratulate yourself and then do it again. And everytime think about how theres nothin gonna kill ya and nothin thats gonna hurt you in any real way.
And remember, you gotta be pretty tough to face your fears every single day, day in and day out. Just living with them it hard enough. So if you can do that you can certainly get rid of it. I know I found living with it way harder than dealing with it, once I found a way.
