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- Thread starter Spearmint
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SocialRetahd
Well-known member
I aged from being lonely.
Jacky1980
Well-known member
Hello, spearmint,
the essence of OCD is the same with Social Anxiety, However, the OCD is characterized by inveterate unwanted thoughts and rituals, so it is more difficult to treat than Social Anxiety, so you'd better be patient.
first, could you please tell me more about your OCD, like what is the concrete symptoms.
second, temporarily give up any efforts to cure it in your mind, because the more desirous you are of curing it, the more severe it will become, it is the law of OCD
third, more sports, I suggest you have a jogging of 3000 m per day, it would make you feel better and relax your mind, do not stay in the home all day long. If you are scared of meeting people now, sport is the best choice to begin with.
Practise for weeks, then I will tell you what to do next
the essence of OCD is the same with Social Anxiety, However, the OCD is characterized by inveterate unwanted thoughts and rituals, so it is more difficult to treat than Social Anxiety, so you'd better be patient.
first, could you please tell me more about your OCD, like what is the concrete symptoms.
second, temporarily give up any efforts to cure it in your mind, because the more desirous you are of curing it, the more severe it will become, it is the law of OCD
third, more sports, I suggest you have a jogging of 3000 m per day, it would make you feel better and relax your mind, do not stay in the home all day long. If you are scared of meeting people now, sport is the best choice to begin with.
Practise for weeks, then I will tell you what to do next
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
Jacky wrote...
"second, temporarily give up any efforts to cure it in your mind, because the more desirous you are of curing it, the more severe it will become, it is the law of OCD"
....this is funny, because I have (just recently really) realised how important it is that I -temporarily- give-up the need to cure my mind or to even understand it. Perhaps this is the case whenever a person is dealing with a problem that it compulsive or deep, in general (which is sort of what obsessive compulsive disorder is I guess).
Spearmint:-
The best thing I can say is that there are loads of lonely people in this world, we just don't hear from them very much! -This may not sound comforting, but in a way it is comforting to know that the lonely are not at all alone in their loneliness.
Perhaps that is why the Buddhists and other religions also focus on compassion for others because one thing that this does is to open our eyes to see just how similar we are to everyone else. So that we change how we judge what 'lonely' is, for example. -and we can see instead that many people may pretend to not be lonely when they really are deep down feeling isolated from others.
Imagine if you could see people in this way. I mean, sometimes I pick-up little prejudices from others -even my pscyhiatrist actually- where I can tell the person is pretending to not be as weak as me. But imagine being able to see straight through such things and see a person's insecurity and not be unsure about it being there in the slightest. ...I think that this is what we are all aiming for.
Anyhow, just HOW to do this is something I am still working on -but it is plain enough to see that such observations are true. -That those who judge are the same ones who will be judged, because they have the same faults that they criticise others for. ...this is such a basic 'rule' and it would be great to unflinchingly and unconditionally believe in it -that is, to follow it without weakness or limits to it, because this would mean that we had no insecurity or weakness any more.
(...so I'm basically saying that with changing how you see 'loneliness' for example, you could see how most others are about as lonely as you. And for certain you wil have sensed or thought this -that heaps of others have the same insecurities and weakness, even if many of them may not have as much emotion to deal with; and if a person is born with more of a problem, it is rather the degree to which they can change their perception that matters and not the degree of the problem that counts. This basically means that a person with a psychological disorder may in a true sense be more sane than a person with no 'psychological disorder' -being that my point is that the one with the so-called disorder may actually have less prejudice. -It all depends of course.)
OK, well I've trailed off qute a bit!!!!!
The only other thing to say is that I agree with Jacky, since for me, giving up trying to do anything or understand my mind was/is an important step. -The Buddhists believe that problems are solved with perception and not (so much) through conceptual thinking. Just like they place importance on awareness -on observing and being aware of what is happening, your feelings, your thoughts. THat from this clear picture and present awareness, nature takes over and we find our solutions very easily and without great struggle. -What I gather is, that solving problems isn't about striving or struggling, but is more about just concentrating and being attentive.
"second, temporarily give up any efforts to cure it in your mind, because the more desirous you are of curing it, the more severe it will become, it is the law of OCD"
....this is funny, because I have (just recently really) realised how important it is that I -temporarily- give-up the need to cure my mind or to even understand it. Perhaps this is the case whenever a person is dealing with a problem that it compulsive or deep, in general (which is sort of what obsessive compulsive disorder is I guess).
Spearmint:-
The best thing I can say is that there are loads of lonely people in this world, we just don't hear from them very much! -This may not sound comforting, but in a way it is comforting to know that the lonely are not at all alone in their loneliness.
Perhaps that is why the Buddhists and other religions also focus on compassion for others because one thing that this does is to open our eyes to see just how similar we are to everyone else. So that we change how we judge what 'lonely' is, for example. -and we can see instead that many people may pretend to not be lonely when they really are deep down feeling isolated from others.
Imagine if you could see people in this way. I mean, sometimes I pick-up little prejudices from others -even my pscyhiatrist actually- where I can tell the person is pretending to not be as weak as me. But imagine being able to see straight through such things and see a person's insecurity and not be unsure about it being there in the slightest. ...I think that this is what we are all aiming for.
Anyhow, just HOW to do this is something I am still working on -but it is plain enough to see that such observations are true. -That those who judge are the same ones who will be judged, because they have the same faults that they criticise others for. ...this is such a basic 'rule' and it would be great to unflinchingly and unconditionally believe in it -that is, to follow it without weakness or limits to it, because this would mean that we had no insecurity or weakness any more.
(...so I'm basically saying that with changing how you see 'loneliness' for example, you could see how most others are about as lonely as you. And for certain you wil have sensed or thought this -that heaps of others have the same insecurities and weakness, even if many of them may not have as much emotion to deal with; and if a person is born with more of a problem, it is rather the degree to which they can change their perception that matters and not the degree of the problem that counts. This basically means that a person with a psychological disorder may in a true sense be more sane than a person with no 'psychological disorder' -being that my point is that the one with the so-called disorder may actually have less prejudice. -It all depends of course.)
OK, well I've trailed off qute a bit!!!!!
The only other thing to say is that I agree with Jacky, since for me, giving up trying to do anything or understand my mind was/is an important step. -The Buddhists believe that problems are solved with perception and not (so much) through conceptual thinking. Just like they place importance on awareness -on observing and being aware of what is happening, your feelings, your thoughts. THat from this clear picture and present awareness, nature takes over and we find our solutions very easily and without great struggle. -What I gather is, that solving problems isn't about striving or struggling, but is more about just concentrating and being attentive.
k_rage
Member
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!
I myself, are so very lonely, I could die. But we can't, and should not let ourselves live like this. We are only making our hearts beat slower, that if we keep adding more hurt to our lives, our hearts will just stop. It is a know medical fact, stress kills. That's why I'm forcing myself to get the heck out of my comfort zone(the house), and atleast be around others. I have felt way too much lonliness, that I wouldn't even wish it on anyone, no matter what they have done, that's how much pain it has caused me. And I don't have other people to rely on except my brother, who is hospitilized, so I am really alone. I avoid most of the social world, and live in my own most of the time, but if I keep going like this, I will not make it to my 40th b-day. I'm sure this happens to alot of people, and it's very unfortunate when you are young. Please, try to do whatever you can to be around other people, I hate to think of other people feeling the pain of lonliness, makes me sad.
I myself, are so very lonely, I could die. But we can't, and should not let ourselves live like this. We are only making our hearts beat slower, that if we keep adding more hurt to our lives, our hearts will just stop. It is a know medical fact, stress kills. That's why I'm forcing myself to get the heck out of my comfort zone(the house), and atleast be around others. I have felt way too much lonliness, that I wouldn't even wish it on anyone, no matter what they have done, that's how much pain it has caused me. And I don't have other people to rely on except my brother, who is hospitilized, so I am really alone. I avoid most of the social world, and live in my own most of the time, but if I keep going like this, I will not make it to my 40th b-day. I'm sure this happens to alot of people, and it's very unfortunate when you are young. Please, try to do whatever you can to be around other people, I hate to think of other people feeling the pain of lonliness, makes me sad.