...

[Crazy]

...

 

[skins]

...they might be cliche's, but theres probably a lot of truth in them too.

 

[Septor]

You are looking at it in the wrong way.It has more to do with the person you are dealing then the cliche.

 

[cLavain]

The reality is that most people are not so concerned about us as we SA-folks think, but that does not mean people aren't forming an opinion of us based on our behaviour. Of course they are.

 

[sweetsour_eisha]

Re: The Reality of Social Interactions (or so they say)

What are the cliche things that people say about the reality of social interactions in an effeort to make it ok to be yourself, e.g.

People aren't really concerned about how you come across
People are more concerned about what you think of them
People are concerned about themselves much more than they are of you

I'm not sure that it is a cliche, but something that my psychologist always tells me is this... that if a stranger has just met you there is very little they can make a judgement of you on - they can judge your appearance, they might think you are a quiet/reserved person but apart from those things there isn't too much they could conclude about you that would give them a bad impression at all, let alone an impression as bad as you believe you make. And even if they did make a negative judgement based on these things it would be on these superficial things and not you as a person. I try to tell myself that kind of thing to combat SA, with varying degrees of success :?.

that's a very thoughtful,wise,soothing words..

it's funny how powerful words can be..just combinations from the letter A-Z..but that's how the reality seems to be..with words and more words A-Z :?

 

[tewstroke]

i think that for the most part this is true, especially for people with SA, they focus more on how they come across verses the other.

 

[The_9th_passenger]

I believe that kind of cliches are more or less true ok but... still most of the people judge me and build themselves an idea about me.. and I have great troubles with that because I don't like at all enyone thinking I'm some kind of silly boy who can't live by his own means and -as spanish say- has never broken a dish. I mean.. they all think I'm a gullible idiot, and maybe I am, but still theres a big part of me they never see. For instance, I have had problems with alcohol, with drugs, with the police, with the law :roll: ... so you can see I'm not a person who never did something dangerous I mean... maybe I seem a nerd but how many nerds do you know who have been very close to go to jail? But as people see me as a pure "nerd" they treat me like that and so I vecame angry with the way they treat me cause I'm not really a nerd and therefore i feel like they are loosing repect to me. I hope you'll understand. It's always a challenge for me to explain such things in a language wich is not mine.

 

[The_9th_passenger]

What I wanted to say is of course people is more concerned about themselves than about anyone else -of course!- but in spite of that, they always form themselves an opinion about you and me... and you and me are SAers aren't we? so...
BUT I don't mind the idea they have about me ... I mind the way they treat me wether it's the right way or not... and most usually is NOT. I deserve RESPECT no matters if I'm SA or whatever. And I'M NOT an idiot or anything like that. I'm clever, I'm in good shape, I have studied 3 years of law, I'm working, I live by myself and need nobody to take care of me cause I'm grown up enough, and I even can do sex maybe even better than any other guy so I wonder why is everybody laughing and doing fuckin jokes to me like I'm an idiot or something. MY SA is almost vanished but still I've got that problem regarding people. How can I socialize when amost everybody is treating me that way?

 

[4myself]

hey 9thPassenger, can I ask who you are referning to when you say everyone?. Are you talking about people in general or people that you spend time with/come into contact with on a regular basis?.

I can understand what you mean about not caring what people think but caring about how you are treated, it is a problem for me as well. Have you thought of any ways to combat this?. I have been considering changing my social scene and hanging around different people, thats why I asked who you are reffering to when you say everyone.

 

[MarCPatt]

You know, this is funny, or maybe not, but I have found out that a lot of the people that seem self confindent, are not. Though, I wish I could learn to act as if I had confidence in myself the way they do. :roll: