Just want to drop some few words because i have to talk with someone (even if it's only not face to face),
pls excuse me for me poor spelling skills, i'm a bit ackward today and i don't have the effort to check the
text before submitting.
I have to share these this with somebody.
basically i'm unhappy because i can't manage to enjoy my self (i don't go out, never go to clubs etc)
and because i'm very alone, these fealings has much i try to hide them or pretend to, are just there
and i must take action instead of constantly thinking of my issues.
To be aware of my issues is important, because not long ago i was trieng to pretend it was all ok trieng
to turn away sadness and depression, but no i'm tring to change my thoughts but in another way, taking action!
This could sound silly, but is helping me (thus in little things, but every day it's a little achievement),
try doing the things you want the most but you dred facing like if that was the last day on earth,
especially not thinking about what people could may think of you when you have to face social things.
I'm not talking about doing thinks without thinking of the consequences or silly things (at the begging it was like that
and it's a little bit desperate) but do them at once without thinking of how you could show you self up.
I'm trying to do things being very aware of the consequences (i must state this because it's a key point)
but i do them not thinking (or listeng to the critical side of my self) that i'm a freak,
trying to think that people won't triet or consider me like a loser (like as always i was used to),
and this is helping me to face the dred thinks. When i'm in a bad way, i try to think even if i'm
a cool guy, not exaggerating and only when i'm very depress, because if i'm ok (but this is not often)
a tend to be a fool of myself, but the positive thing is that in this case a took action, so it's
not to bad anyway. If i'm ok, i could even remain calm (in the sense that i don't feel fear or a feel it less),
but in turn not to know what to say or talk about if i'm in a social situation (the funny thing is that
i'm so used to prepare myself and think about the dred situation time before that now i don't know
to improvise.
In all this the key is my inner state, how i'm fealing inside, the positive thoughts, the positive values
a give to myself, not thinking about the bad thinkig and especially not thinking about what other people
think of me or thinkig that they consider me a looser, tring to think they could think of me like a person
like the others, not a looser nor a superstar (sometimes the thoughts go overbode and it's important
not to exagerate otherwise you make a fool of yourself, pretending maybe to be somebody other, maybe
the most extrovert person in the world!).
The todo here is to achieve the things you thought you never could make, but taking action, not just
sitting there thinking of it or thinking you could do it someday, do it and do it now!
When you manage to face these situations (and it's important to know that in this case it's not how
do you perform but simply the fact that you're doing it and that in the past you never done it),
you will feel happy, and that is a feeling that makes you go ahead and confident.
And practice makes you god then.
I must feel happy, and i must not think i'm a loser. I must think at the things i didn't manage to face in the past
not in the way that the sentence i'm a loser but in the way that they are lessons and that there there
to rember me not to do them anymore.
But know the things i'm issuing are many.
can't approach a group of people,
i see that everyone (at work, school, clubs ecc) talks within a group (like a group o collegues in the same office), i just can't do that. The problem that worries me is that i don't even think of approacing a group, an when i do i can't talk at all because (i know this is silly) i just don't know what to talk about,and then it turns out that people ask why is this and it makes me feel even worse, this happens even when my fear is not so high, so this makes me wonder even more (i would expect to can't face it when i fell very bad, but when i do not i don't understand why nothing just doesen't came out my mouth). When i'm not to bad, i fill myself confident, and positive thinking (i mean i think in myself before going somewhere where there are people that everything will turn out ok)
but then when i go there i can't manage to face people, like i sad even when fear is not to high, i just don't know how to start a conversation or what to talk about. The worst thing is when there are people that don't talk much like, that stand there just not saying nothing or tend to talk only to certain people, those kind of people i just can't manage to get i touch with, things are better when people brake the ice with me or i find somebody that talks a lot, mekes me more confident to approch this kind of people. The sad thing is that sometimes these kind of people are not so good like they appear, and maybe the ones don't talk mouch with who i got more issues are nice people worth to get in touch with.
Another thing that worries me, is like a sad i can't manage to reach the point where i can get to know a person, i've noticed that when i'm with people with who i've manage to brake the ice, after sometime (1-2 hours) something inside me gets ackward, a fealing of tiredness and a sensations of wonting to go away on my one, and this has made me have issues with people. I think it's all because i'm unhappy with my life and people notice it, this is because i can't manage to enjoy my self AND THIS ON THE LONG RUN comes out because it's how i feal inside. I only i could overcome a little bit my iussues (i mean i don't pretend to become the coolest guy) but have a little power and control of my life so could break the ice and then have friends and this would certainly help me very much to al least be less unhappy but i just can't manage to break the ice, the ice remains there, stiff as a poker, and the ice is still solid even if a see the same people after years (like where i work), i just don't know why!
I've read that many of you have issues at the begging, when you don't know the person and when you do the fear fades away, well i just can't get to that point, i mean i can get to know the person but the fear remains just as ever, i'm in a campany and i have issues whit everyone (especcialy my boss) althouw it's 4 years i'm here. The funny thing is that at the begging when i'm facing a new person, i could even feal and appear as a confident person, but then it all fads away when i get to know that person, and the fear and insecurity get so high, and i don't know why
The worst gets when i get to know that person, i would expect to have these issues whit strangers, but why is it that fear goes up when
the better results i ever had in this cases is to do it when i'm confident (this word is not very suitable for me because i'm far of being like that, but it's just to explain the thig), this makes me positive thinking and this gives me the power to act instead of not doing nothing like i usually do, so the thing i would love to know is how to get to this state
same thing happens with girls but it's even worse. It doesen't help that they stay there not talking to you and maybe there's even one that likes you, but she is aspetting that you take the move, and the most frustating thing is that then because you don't approach her or talk to her she thinks you don't fancy her, but don't undestand that there are shy people and if you're not approacing them is not because you don't fancy them?
In this cases a friend that introduces you could very much help.
Just want to take action, but how can i break the ice?
What i suppose to do if there's a girl that i fancy (or even mor that likes you, i'm talking if you are sure, if they look at you in that way, you know what i'm saying) that stays there waiting me to approach her?
In the pas i worked in a place where there was a pretty girl that was constinly looking at me, i liked here, but she stod there, it didn't help that there was another man there flirting and that when she was alone she will be talking in a group of other collegues and naturally i couldn't face partecipeting.
You must feel happy if you want to try to boost your self-exsteem, to be happy you have to take action. They don't have to big great things, try little things to reamain constly happy, try not to get in the state that you fell unhappy otherwise action it's very diffult and you'll end up just not doing nothing. Whenever you feel unhappines is coming around, take action!
pls excuse me for me poor spelling skills, i'm a bit ackward today and i don't have the effort to check the
text before submitting.
I have to share these this with somebody.
basically i'm unhappy because i can't manage to enjoy my self (i don't go out, never go to clubs etc)
and because i'm very alone, these fealings has much i try to hide them or pretend to, are just there
and i must take action instead of constantly thinking of my issues.
To be aware of my issues is important, because not long ago i was trieng to pretend it was all ok trieng
to turn away sadness and depression, but no i'm tring to change my thoughts but in another way, taking action!
This could sound silly, but is helping me (thus in little things, but every day it's a little achievement),
try doing the things you want the most but you dred facing like if that was the last day on earth,
especially not thinking about what people could may think of you when you have to face social things.
I'm not talking about doing thinks without thinking of the consequences or silly things (at the begging it was like that
and it's a little bit desperate) but do them at once without thinking of how you could show you self up.
I'm trying to do things being very aware of the consequences (i must state this because it's a key point)
but i do them not thinking (or listeng to the critical side of my self) that i'm a freak,
trying to think that people won't triet or consider me like a loser (like as always i was used to),
and this is helping me to face the dred thinks. When i'm in a bad way, i try to think even if i'm
a cool guy, not exaggerating and only when i'm very depress, because if i'm ok (but this is not often)
a tend to be a fool of myself, but the positive thing is that in this case a took action, so it's
not to bad anyway. If i'm ok, i could even remain calm (in the sense that i don't feel fear or a feel it less),
but in turn not to know what to say or talk about if i'm in a social situation (the funny thing is that
i'm so used to prepare myself and think about the dred situation time before that now i don't know
to improvise.
In all this the key is my inner state, how i'm fealing inside, the positive thoughts, the positive values
a give to myself, not thinking about the bad thinkig and especially not thinking about what other people
think of me or thinkig that they consider me a looser, tring to think they could think of me like a person
like the others, not a looser nor a superstar (sometimes the thoughts go overbode and it's important
not to exagerate otherwise you make a fool of yourself, pretending maybe to be somebody other, maybe
the most extrovert person in the world!).
The todo here is to achieve the things you thought you never could make, but taking action, not just
sitting there thinking of it or thinking you could do it someday, do it and do it now!
When you manage to face these situations (and it's important to know that in this case it's not how
do you perform but simply the fact that you're doing it and that in the past you never done it),
you will feel happy, and that is a feeling that makes you go ahead and confident.
And practice makes you god then.
I must feel happy, and i must not think i'm a loser. I must think at the things i didn't manage to face in the past
not in the way that the sentence i'm a loser but in the way that they are lessons and that there there
to rember me not to do them anymore.
But know the things i'm issuing are many.
can't approach a group of people,
i see that everyone (at work, school, clubs ecc) talks within a group (like a group o collegues in the same office), i just can't do that. The problem that worries me is that i don't even think of approacing a group, an when i do i can't talk at all because (i know this is silly) i just don't know what to talk about,and then it turns out that people ask why is this and it makes me feel even worse, this happens even when my fear is not so high, so this makes me wonder even more (i would expect to can't face it when i fell very bad, but when i do not i don't understand why nothing just doesen't came out my mouth). When i'm not to bad, i fill myself confident, and positive thinking (i mean i think in myself before going somewhere where there are people that everything will turn out ok)
but then when i go there i can't manage to face people, like i sad even when fear is not to high, i just don't know how to start a conversation or what to talk about. The worst thing is when there are people that don't talk much like, that stand there just not saying nothing or tend to talk only to certain people, those kind of people i just can't manage to get i touch with, things are better when people brake the ice with me or i find somebody that talks a lot, mekes me more confident to approch this kind of people. The sad thing is that sometimes these kind of people are not so good like they appear, and maybe the ones don't talk mouch with who i got more issues are nice people worth to get in touch with.
Another thing that worries me, is like a sad i can't manage to reach the point where i can get to know a person, i've noticed that when i'm with people with who i've manage to brake the ice, after sometime (1-2 hours) something inside me gets ackward, a fealing of tiredness and a sensations of wonting to go away on my one, and this has made me have issues with people. I think it's all because i'm unhappy with my life and people notice it, this is because i can't manage to enjoy my self AND THIS ON THE LONG RUN comes out because it's how i feal inside. I only i could overcome a little bit my iussues (i mean i don't pretend to become the coolest guy) but have a little power and control of my life so could break the ice and then have friends and this would certainly help me very much to al least be less unhappy but i just can't manage to break the ice, the ice remains there, stiff as a poker, and the ice is still solid even if a see the same people after years (like where i work), i just don't know why!
I've read that many of you have issues at the begging, when you don't know the person and when you do the fear fades away, well i just can't get to that point, i mean i can get to know the person but the fear remains just as ever, i'm in a campany and i have issues whit everyone (especcialy my boss) althouw it's 4 years i'm here. The funny thing is that at the begging when i'm facing a new person, i could even feal and appear as a confident person, but then it all fads away when i get to know that person, and the fear and insecurity get so high, and i don't know why
The worst gets when i get to know that person, i would expect to have these issues whit strangers, but why is it that fear goes up when
the better results i ever had in this cases is to do it when i'm confident (this word is not very suitable for me because i'm far of being like that, but it's just to explain the thig), this makes me positive thinking and this gives me the power to act instead of not doing nothing like i usually do, so the thing i would love to know is how to get to this state
same thing happens with girls but it's even worse. It doesen't help that they stay there not talking to you and maybe there's even one that likes you, but she is aspetting that you take the move, and the most frustating thing is that then because you don't approach her or talk to her she thinks you don't fancy her, but don't undestand that there are shy people and if you're not approacing them is not because you don't fancy them?
In this cases a friend that introduces you could very much help.
Just want to take action, but how can i break the ice?
What i suppose to do if there's a girl that i fancy (or even mor that likes you, i'm talking if you are sure, if they look at you in that way, you know what i'm saying) that stays there waiting me to approach her?
In the pas i worked in a place where there was a pretty girl that was constinly looking at me, i liked here, but she stod there, it didn't help that there was another man there flirting and that when she was alone she will be talking in a group of other collegues and naturally i couldn't face partecipeting.
You must feel happy if you want to try to boost your self-exsteem, to be happy you have to take action. They don't have to big great things, try little things to reamain constly happy, try not to get in the state that you fell unhappy otherwise action it's very diffult and you'll end up just not doing nothing. Whenever you feel unhappines is coming around, take action!
Last edited: