tehStranger
Well-known member
some even might be afraid of me...
Last edited:
Starting to get the impression that some people dislike me..
- Thread starter tehStranger
- Start date
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
I think I can relate enough to your experience. I've felt and experienced similar things my self.
The thing, I think, to ask your self is: despite all this weiredness that is going on -who do you think you are and what are you like on your own and with your self....?
Then you can think to yourself: What is all this...? All this is misunderstanding and miscommunication.
..You know, I even read recently that being socially isolated makes the brain change so that such people experience a bigger lack of emotional and self- control.
-describes fairly well how feeling a bit socially anxious and/or insecure around others can spiral-out to become even more exaggerated than what it began as.
And emotions have the property of attracting similar kinds of feelings, where they tend to magnify and 'bounce off' each other.
...On the positive side -although you may not feel this way about things right now - you could acknowledge how powerful your emotions are. Although, in my own experience, it is/was this very thing that made me fearful: just how much I believed that my mood and feelings could impact upon those around me.
Yet, if you look at it in the right way: you can understand better why it is that you are experiencing this darker aspect of your self.
Sometimes I think that it is because my emotions are so strong and powerful that has caused me to become fearful of them -and fearful of making a wrong step.
Yet, if you can get yourself to a point wherein you stop wondering about how the glass is half empty, and start thinking- well, it's actually half full: then your sensitivity towards others and your ability to effect others' moods won't scare you so much. ...even if you have a strong ability to do this (which by the way, needn't have to be experienced as bad) what significance do such little aspects of interaction really have in terms of the whole of yourself...? You know your self -and if others really got to know you and saw past your nervousness and discomfort, they'd see through such little aspects of your behaviour.
I personally believe that a quick way of getting to a place of confidence about all this, is your asking yourself just who you believe you are. Are all these problems with other people really reflections on yourself, or are they little things that have gotten bigger because you have been coming to terms with and are fearing your sensitive emotions-?
I think that with time and buiding-up your own ideas of who you are, that you'll worry less about what others impressions of you are. That you'll start telling the world who you are; and then the little aspects of social interaction will become little aspects. That you'll know your self as sensitive and a bit reactive, but you'll put such a thing into perspective.
The thing, I think, to ask your self is: despite all this weiredness that is going on -who do you think you are and what are you like on your own and with your self....?
Then you can think to yourself: What is all this...? All this is misunderstanding and miscommunication.
..You know, I even read recently that being socially isolated makes the brain change so that such people experience a bigger lack of emotional and self- control.
-describes fairly well how feeling a bit socially anxious and/or insecure around others can spiral-out to become even more exaggerated than what it began as.
And emotions have the property of attracting similar kinds of feelings, where they tend to magnify and 'bounce off' each other.
...On the positive side -although you may not feel this way about things right now - you could acknowledge how powerful your emotions are. Although, in my own experience, it is/was this very thing that made me fearful: just how much I believed that my mood and feelings could impact upon those around me.
Yet, if you look at it in the right way: you can understand better why it is that you are experiencing this darker aspect of your self.
Sometimes I think that it is because my emotions are so strong and powerful that has caused me to become fearful of them -and fearful of making a wrong step.
Yet, if you can get yourself to a point wherein you stop wondering about how the glass is half empty, and start thinking- well, it's actually half full: then your sensitivity towards others and your ability to effect others' moods won't scare you so much. ...even if you have a strong ability to do this (which by the way, needn't have to be experienced as bad) what significance do such little aspects of interaction really have in terms of the whole of yourself...? You know your self -and if others really got to know you and saw past your nervousness and discomfort, they'd see through such little aspects of your behaviour.
I personally believe that a quick way of getting to a place of confidence about all this, is your asking yourself just who you believe you are. Are all these problems with other people really reflections on yourself, or are they little things that have gotten bigger because you have been coming to terms with and are fearing your sensitive emotions-?
I think that with time and buiding-up your own ideas of who you are, that you'll worry less about what others impressions of you are. That you'll start telling the world who you are; and then the little aspects of social interaction will become little aspects. That you'll know your self as sensitive and a bit reactive, but you'll put such a thing into perspective.
Jack-B
Well-known member
tehStranger
People appear this way to your mind because of the state your mind is in at that moment.
Anxiety makes your mind hallucinate and distort reality.
At these times you see the world through a distorted lens thereby making people and things seem very strange indeed.
Within your mind, anxiety is igniting - coming to the surface, quite subtle, which is why its like being spiked with a drug unknowingly. Then things appear much differently, agitation sets in, paranoia and so on.
People see what their mind perceives so for you at these times your mind, controlled by anxiety, will tell you 'others think something of me' (usually negative) and you develop further anxiety and wrong ideas about other people. When this happens frequently, you start to believe they know intimate details about you. Imagine a volcano errupting - this is your mind of anxiety spewing out onto the world.
Nothing to do with other people whatsoever. Other people are like the spark which ignites whats going on inside your own mind.
Jack
People appear this way to your mind because of the state your mind is in at that moment.
Anxiety makes your mind hallucinate and distort reality.
At these times you see the world through a distorted lens thereby making people and things seem very strange indeed.
Within your mind, anxiety is igniting - coming to the surface, quite subtle, which is why its like being spiked with a drug unknowingly. Then things appear much differently, agitation sets in, paranoia and so on.
People see what their mind perceives so for you at these times your mind, controlled by anxiety, will tell you 'others think something of me' (usually negative) and you develop further anxiety and wrong ideas about other people. When this happens frequently, you start to believe they know intimate details about you. Imagine a volcano errupting - this is your mind of anxiety spewing out onto the world.
Nothing to do with other people whatsoever. Other people are like the spark which ignites whats going on inside your own mind.
Jack
LittleMissScareAll
Well-known member
That's something I've known about myself for many years...alot of people hate me, and alot seem afraid of me too. But I'm kinda glad I come off as creepy to people, it keeps alot of people from bugging me, I guess.
LittleMissMuffet
Well-known member
Hi the Stranger,
I'll tell you something that I've never mentioned until now.
I feel that I can relate somewhat to your experiences.
There are 2 important things to try to see right now:
-that when you feel worried and anxious and even a bit paranoid, that your feelings and thoughts are a bit blurred;
-that what likely is high sensitivity on your part, when it meets the sensitivities of others, it is like energy meeting only to get bigger and more exagerrated than it started as.
...or, put another way: If you decide that you do not like what is happening and that things are out of control, you can take a step back and accept that things are not measuring-up and that your perception of just what is going on is a bit out of whack.
This is nothing bad -it is just acknowledging that your mind is not currently at peace; and because a mind that sees with clear perception can only ever be at peace, you can conclude that your current way of feeling will effect your perceptions.
OK, I don't mean to tell you that all or even most of what you are experiencing is wrong. In fact, I simply mean to say that because emotions 'coagulate' together, yours with those of others, that this has the effect of small problems or errors in thinking getting blown out of perspective. ...And I'm saying to you to try to take a step back.
If you are really in the grip of feeling very anxious around others, then it is probably best for you to take a break from being around too many people. And because emotions effect thinking, it may simply be that you feel a lack of emotional control. You can find ways to work on this in order to improve how you feel (around others). ...I personally find that meditation helps to slow-down my thoughts and reactions, and that then it is much much easier for me to feel good, to respond in ways I would like to others, and to feel clearer about the emotional boundaries between me and others.
I think that with Social Anxiety, there is a blurring of where I stand in relation to others and the emotional boundaries between me and others. ...But I think that it may simply be a case of learning better control over my mind and emotions; that can be developed through learning how to calm and slow-down my fast reactions/thoughts.
The other thing that I wanted to mention earlier, is that when I was at work, I felt a similar blurring of boundaries: I felt that people could read me like a book and that my emotions were too strong and effected others too much. I felt really emotionally vulnerable. ....In truth, my emotions/reactions are in fact strong; and they actually show-up all over my face really easily.
Added to this, feeling of insecurity about how reactive I am and how easily others can read me ....I also began experiencing that others could in fact 'pick -up' on my thoughts. !!!!!!! ....yep, that's right: a form of telepathy. !!!! ...this scared me somewhat... This also happened more the more uncontrolled my emotions felt.
Now, my psychiatrist cannot seem to make-up her mind whether such perceptions of my reality are correct. At first she believed me, and a few weeks later she insisted that I was delusional.
Here is where my good-old common sense comes in ....
Why does it have to be one way or the other????
Considering that my emotions are somewhat out-of-whack and therefore I am bound to have some distortion of my perception; the opposite is also true in the sense that, my highly-strung emotional sensitivity would make it possible that feelings, and maybe even thoughts, could be transferred from me to others.
One way or another, I believe that when I have thought to have had such experiences that at least some of these were in fact some form of ESP/telepathy. ....Besides which, there are many "normal", so-called "perfectly sane" people who have personal experience with paranormal phenomena. ...and we have no clear evidence or explanation (at least) to prove whether this is an accurate perception or not.
So, basically I am suggesting that you take the tempo down a notch or so. Treat your perceptions in the sense that, because peoples' emotions bounce off each other and can effect each other - try to acknowledge that "it does take 2 to tango". That, whilst it isn't all you, it isn't all others either; that it is a bit of both.
And, emotions attract like emotions. ...In fact, what you are experiencing is, at least to some extent, experienced by very many people.
This IS in fact proof that it isn't your sensitivities that are wrong.
However, perhaps the amount of value that you place on them -the importance and significance that you give the, that is causing problems.
In fact, if you are like me, such strong emotional 'signals' etc, are simultaneously things that you feel and are therefore 'attracted' or aroused towards (ie: sensitive about) whilst you are very afraid about them. ...So, why not accept that what you pick-up is basically correct (and do not fear or doubt such things) and at the same time, cease paying such great attention to these little aspects of interaction.
Also, perhaps rather than feel afraid or feel your self 'odd' or 'marked', perhaps you should believe that the little emotions that you pick-up on are right, and for this reason: not worry about them or about others picking-up on 'weired' vibes from you and passing these back.
I think that maybe people like you and me are simply hypersensitive individuals, and that we would benefit from learning to not worry about our being this way: that we react strongly to others and that, along with this, we can effect the way that others feel a bit more strongly.
That, so what of being a bit more sensitive than the rest.
(...notice also: how whilst you feel very different from others, your experiences are showing you that others are not that far removed from you: they react towards you quite easily!)
Learning how to still your mind, how to create calm at will -will help you control your feelings around others, which will also improve your sense of where you end and others begin.
....I hope that I am helpful: I am telling you basically what I have learnt about my self.
I'll tell you something that I've never mentioned until now.
I feel that I can relate somewhat to your experiences.
There are 2 important things to try to see right now:
-that when you feel worried and anxious and even a bit paranoid, that your feelings and thoughts are a bit blurred;
-that what likely is high sensitivity on your part, when it meets the sensitivities of others, it is like energy meeting only to get bigger and more exagerrated than it started as.
...or, put another way: If you decide that you do not like what is happening and that things are out of control, you can take a step back and accept that things are not measuring-up and that your perception of just what is going on is a bit out of whack.
This is nothing bad -it is just acknowledging that your mind is not currently at peace; and because a mind that sees with clear perception can only ever be at peace, you can conclude that your current way of feeling will effect your perceptions.
OK, I don't mean to tell you that all or even most of what you are experiencing is wrong. In fact, I simply mean to say that because emotions 'coagulate' together, yours with those of others, that this has the effect of small problems or errors in thinking getting blown out of perspective. ...And I'm saying to you to try to take a step back.
If you are really in the grip of feeling very anxious around others, then it is probably best for you to take a break from being around too many people. And because emotions effect thinking, it may simply be that you feel a lack of emotional control. You can find ways to work on this in order to improve how you feel (around others). ...I personally find that meditation helps to slow-down my thoughts and reactions, and that then it is much much easier for me to feel good, to respond in ways I would like to others, and to feel clearer about the emotional boundaries between me and others.
I think that with Social Anxiety, there is a blurring of where I stand in relation to others and the emotional boundaries between me and others. ...But I think that it may simply be a case of learning better control over my mind and emotions; that can be developed through learning how to calm and slow-down my fast reactions/thoughts.
The other thing that I wanted to mention earlier, is that when I was at work, I felt a similar blurring of boundaries: I felt that people could read me like a book and that my emotions were too strong and effected others too much. I felt really emotionally vulnerable. ....In truth, my emotions/reactions are in fact strong; and they actually show-up all over my face really easily.
Added to this, feeling of insecurity about how reactive I am and how easily others can read me ....I also began experiencing that others could in fact 'pick -up' on my thoughts. !!!!!!! ....yep, that's right: a form of telepathy. !!!! ...this scared me somewhat... This also happened more the more uncontrolled my emotions felt.
Now, my psychiatrist cannot seem to make-up her mind whether such perceptions of my reality are correct. At first she believed me, and a few weeks later she insisted that I was delusional.
Here is where my good-old common sense comes in ....
Why does it have to be one way or the other????
Considering that my emotions are somewhat out-of-whack and therefore I am bound to have some distortion of my perception; the opposite is also true in the sense that, my highly-strung emotional sensitivity would make it possible that feelings, and maybe even thoughts, could be transferred from me to others.
One way or another, I believe that when I have thought to have had such experiences that at least some of these were in fact some form of ESP/telepathy. ....Besides which, there are many "normal", so-called "perfectly sane" people who have personal experience with paranormal phenomena. ...and we have no clear evidence or explanation (at least) to prove whether this is an accurate perception or not.
So, basically I am suggesting that you take the tempo down a notch or so. Treat your perceptions in the sense that, because peoples' emotions bounce off each other and can effect each other - try to acknowledge that "it does take 2 to tango". That, whilst it isn't all you, it isn't all others either; that it is a bit of both.
And, emotions attract like emotions. ...In fact, what you are experiencing is, at least to some extent, experienced by very many people.
This IS in fact proof that it isn't your sensitivities that are wrong.
However, perhaps the amount of value that you place on them -the importance and significance that you give the, that is causing problems.
In fact, if you are like me, such strong emotional 'signals' etc, are simultaneously things that you feel and are therefore 'attracted' or aroused towards (ie: sensitive about) whilst you are very afraid about them. ...So, why not accept that what you pick-up is basically correct (and do not fear or doubt such things) and at the same time, cease paying such great attention to these little aspects of interaction.
Also, perhaps rather than feel afraid or feel your self 'odd' or 'marked', perhaps you should believe that the little emotions that you pick-up on are right, and for this reason: not worry about them or about others picking-up on 'weired' vibes from you and passing these back.
I think that maybe people like you and me are simply hypersensitive individuals, and that we would benefit from learning to not worry about our being this way: that we react strongly to others and that, along with this, we can effect the way that others feel a bit more strongly.
That, so what of being a bit more sensitive than the rest.
(...notice also: how whilst you feel very different from others, your experiences are showing you that others are not that far removed from you: they react towards you quite easily!)
Learning how to still your mind, how to create calm at will -will help you control your feelings around others, which will also improve your sense of where you end and others begin.
....I hope that I am helpful: I am telling you basically what I have learnt about my self.
pinkputter
Well-known member
hey! I hope i dont repeat anything that anyone else wrote BUT i just wanted to say i feel you on this, and its probably normal for sensitive people like ones with SA to feel this way.
But the truth is, the moment you decide not to care about what others' think of you, is the moment more people probably WILL like you. Its a strange thing but so true.
But even this shouldnt be the focus. Focus on knowing yourself so well that no matter what some one has to say about the way you do things, it cant change who you know you are deep down. This is just true in general but with anxiety too.
But the truth is, the moment you decide not to care about what others' think of you, is the moment more people probably WILL like you. Its a strange thing but so true.
But even this shouldnt be the focus. Focus on knowing yourself so well that no matter what some one has to say about the way you do things, it cant change who you know you are deep down. This is just true in general but with anxiety too.
pinkputter
Well-known member
something else thats obvious but is helpful to be reminded of is:
ask yourself, ok, what can *I* change about this situation?
well the answe is, you cant change people, and you cant change the circumstance...
you can change your perspective!!!!
Like yourself, and find good in people....in turn others are more likely (not gaurunteed) to like you and find good in you as welll!
whatever you do, will in turn come back to help/hurt the situation. I know this is hard...ive been working at anxiety for a while and it took me a while to get this....as it should when i was in that state.
But example: Sallye is miserable. She is extremely demanding and she TELLS her friends they need to hang out instead of asking.
What kind of realtionships do you think Sallye will have and how will that make her feel?
Do you see what im saying about how you act and what kind of a result you get?
Well i didnt a while back.... people were miserable to me (and there will always be that miserable person in the world no matter what you do).... but it was because I WAS miserable! We have anxiety, its not a pleasant thing! but strive to get to the point where YOU are happy on your own....then you can be open with others.... i think thats the first step...hope this helps you!
ask yourself, ok, what can *I* change about this situation?
well the answe is, you cant change people, and you cant change the circumstance...
you can change your perspective!!!!
Like yourself, and find good in people....in turn others are more likely (not gaurunteed) to like you and find good in you as welll!
whatever you do, will in turn come back to help/hurt the situation. I know this is hard...ive been working at anxiety for a while and it took me a while to get this....as it should when i was in that state.
But example: Sallye is miserable. She is extremely demanding and she TELLS her friends they need to hang out instead of asking.
What kind of realtionships do you think Sallye will have and how will that make her feel?
Do you see what im saying about how you act and what kind of a result you get?
Well i didnt a while back.... people were miserable to me (and there will always be that miserable person in the world no matter what you do).... but it was because I WAS miserable! We have anxiety, its not a pleasant thing! but strive to get to the point where YOU are happy on your own....then you can be open with others.... i think thats the first step...hope this helps you!
tehStranger
Well-known member
lacnail
Banned
You know--I have this same problem. I go outside a lot with my MP3 player on and I notice people being far more stand-offish. I think my thing is with that is when I have it with me, I'm always very deep in thought or in need of privacy. I think other people probably think I'm "spacey" or "weird" with them on.
It doesn't bother me with my player, because usually I don't really want to talk to people when I have it.
It doesn't bother me with my player, because usually I don't really want to talk to people when I have it.
red_reagel
Well-known member
Yeah, I definetly know how you feel! before people didn't like me because I never talked. But now when I try to talk, they still don't give me a chance. Some people are just confusing, you know? real friends are the ones who give others who try a chance. Or maybe they're shy themselves.
