iwillbeatthis
New member
Hello, I'm a 21-year old male and I (believe) I have speech impediment caused by social anxiety.
I had a normal, healthy social upbringing until age 13-14. I had plenty of friends (both girls and boys), would spend every day socializing with them, and I was overall very socially happy and optimistic about life. At age 14-15, I experienced some changes with my social circle, and by that I mean I lost most of my friends. I either got in relationship-ending fights with them, or they moved to another city, or they changed for the worst and I didn't want to hang out with them anymore. Anyways, from age 14 to about age 18, I spent most of my personal time in the privacy of my own room, on the computer. I believe this is what messed up my life... ages 14-18 are very important for a young adult's social development yet I did not have much social interaction during this time. After age 17-18, I slowly started hanging out with friends more and more and eventually started hanging out with friends every night of my life, even to this day (like I said, I'm 21).
Despite having a generous amount of friends right now, I still suffer from a speech impediment as a result of this social anxiety. The reason why I say "as a result" is because, if I'm in the privacy of my own room or in the privacy of my own car, I can say almost any word or sentence, no matter how complicated it is. Sometimes I can also have an excellent conversation with people that would usually trigger my social anxiety (people of authority, attractive females, people who ask me a question and stare at me while waiting for an answer). However, 90% to 95% of the time, my social anxiety will cause stuttering, mumbling, jumbling, stammering, mispronunciations, lisps, and many other hosts of speech impediments. But like I said, when I'm at my best, I can have an excellent conversation with little-to-no error, with perfect volume and tone. But like I said, most of the time, even with friends, family, and strangers, I suffer from social anxiety. It's much better now than it was 5 years ago when I was 15. I applied to work at a grocery store when I was 15, and I could barely articulate a sentence to the store manager. I was quiet and uneasy, additionally I would stutter and mumble. Now, I'm 100% confident that I can talk to any stranger, I'm just 10% confident that I'll do it without speech errors.
So people don't actually scare me, mentally-speaking. I know that it's stupid and foolish that I should be afraid of people, no matter how attractive or unattractive they are, or no matter how powerful or powerless they are. Yet my body still reacts with anxiety when I have to speak in front of people. And sometimes I just can't help it... sometimes I freeze before even beginning to talk and I have two choices: choose not to say anything, or say something and start out talking incredibly fast and then slowing down once I get through the first 3-4 words. I can't answer phones in front of people, the same "freezing" will occur except 10 times as worse... it's really bad. But as soon as I get home that day, I practice the statement I was supposed to make on the phone, and voila, I can make it perfectly. Then I get very angry at myself for not being able to articulate stuff in front of people...
I think one of the biggest problems lies with the fact that I feel mentally "rushed" to stay stuff in front of people, my mind wants to "get it over with" so it'll make me speak very fast and that's where a lot of mumbling and mispronunciations/lisps occur. If I took the time to speak slowly, my problem would improve by 40%-50% but the stutters would still occur, but speed wouldn't be an issue.
Marijuana doesn't help the issue unless I just got past the "high" point and I'm coming down. That's when my mind is the most relaxed and I can talk to people very well. Alcohol relaxes me a little more than marijuana, I'll still stutter and jumble my words but my speed/voice control is very good, as a lot of my anxiety is gone. But I don't want to be dependent on these drugs/substances to live a NORMAL life... I want to be able to wake up in the morning, walk out to the street, and have a flirty conversation with a hot girl with little-to-no error, or go strike up a conversation with my manager without jumbling my words as much.
Long story short... I'm not mentally anxious of people anymore (I admit I was 5 years ago), now I'm comfortable approaching any stranger and talking to them, it's just when I actually start talking that I start to make these errors with my speech and THEN I get uncomfortable and I embarrass myself.
I love people, I want to know as many people as I can, and in fact even my the most SOCIAL of my friends commend me for knowing so many random people. I always stop and say hello to people that I know, whether they're friends or somebody I've met once. I love people, I just want to somehow erase the speech impediment caused by social anxiety.
I don't have a permanent speech impediment, I know this because I've had conversations before without any error, or when I'm by myself I can talk near-perfectly. Sometimes I'll stumble on a word when I practice talking to myself, but I can correct it at the second attempt. With people, I would just stutter the word 3-4 times before correcting it, and even the correction won't sound good.
Moral of the story: I have a very capable mouth, I have a nice way of words and I've been told I'm very witty. I just have a speech impediment caused by social anxiety and NOW is the time to beat this!
Are there any exercises, therapies, or methods to solving this?
Apparently one should make their breathing very calm and deep when in social situations. I keep forgetting to do it, but I shall try and then I'll report the results.
Another thing, I lost my voice a few days ago, and my speech accuracy was 85%-90%, it was very good. I think having the broken/lost voice wiped away the "initial embarrassment" for social interactions, so once that was gone, I was probably subconsciously less anxious which allowed me almost COMPLETE control over my voice.
Also, when I have a cold beverage or desert (like ice cream), my speech impediment is a little worse, it's like it's harder to move my tongue. But when I'm alone there's almost no difference! All of this is due to social anxiety!
I can sing songs without any error, lyric for lyric, my voice, tone, etc. is all perfect. Even around people. Is it because I know what to say and I'm not anxious about talking to other people?
Thanks guys, and have a nice day.
I had a normal, healthy social upbringing until age 13-14. I had plenty of friends (both girls and boys), would spend every day socializing with them, and I was overall very socially happy and optimistic about life. At age 14-15, I experienced some changes with my social circle, and by that I mean I lost most of my friends. I either got in relationship-ending fights with them, or they moved to another city, or they changed for the worst and I didn't want to hang out with them anymore. Anyways, from age 14 to about age 18, I spent most of my personal time in the privacy of my own room, on the computer. I believe this is what messed up my life... ages 14-18 are very important for a young adult's social development yet I did not have much social interaction during this time. After age 17-18, I slowly started hanging out with friends more and more and eventually started hanging out with friends every night of my life, even to this day (like I said, I'm 21).
Despite having a generous amount of friends right now, I still suffer from a speech impediment as a result of this social anxiety. The reason why I say "as a result" is because, if I'm in the privacy of my own room or in the privacy of my own car, I can say almost any word or sentence, no matter how complicated it is. Sometimes I can also have an excellent conversation with people that would usually trigger my social anxiety (people of authority, attractive females, people who ask me a question and stare at me while waiting for an answer). However, 90% to 95% of the time, my social anxiety will cause stuttering, mumbling, jumbling, stammering, mispronunciations, lisps, and many other hosts of speech impediments. But like I said, when I'm at my best, I can have an excellent conversation with little-to-no error, with perfect volume and tone. But like I said, most of the time, even with friends, family, and strangers, I suffer from social anxiety. It's much better now than it was 5 years ago when I was 15. I applied to work at a grocery store when I was 15, and I could barely articulate a sentence to the store manager. I was quiet and uneasy, additionally I would stutter and mumble. Now, I'm 100% confident that I can talk to any stranger, I'm just 10% confident that I'll do it without speech errors.
So people don't actually scare me, mentally-speaking. I know that it's stupid and foolish that I should be afraid of people, no matter how attractive or unattractive they are, or no matter how powerful or powerless they are. Yet my body still reacts with anxiety when I have to speak in front of people. And sometimes I just can't help it... sometimes I freeze before even beginning to talk and I have two choices: choose not to say anything, or say something and start out talking incredibly fast and then slowing down once I get through the first 3-4 words. I can't answer phones in front of people, the same "freezing" will occur except 10 times as worse... it's really bad. But as soon as I get home that day, I practice the statement I was supposed to make on the phone, and voila, I can make it perfectly. Then I get very angry at myself for not being able to articulate stuff in front of people...
I think one of the biggest problems lies with the fact that I feel mentally "rushed" to stay stuff in front of people, my mind wants to "get it over with" so it'll make me speak very fast and that's where a lot of mumbling and mispronunciations/lisps occur. If I took the time to speak slowly, my problem would improve by 40%-50% but the stutters would still occur, but speed wouldn't be an issue.
Marijuana doesn't help the issue unless I just got past the "high" point and I'm coming down. That's when my mind is the most relaxed and I can talk to people very well. Alcohol relaxes me a little more than marijuana, I'll still stutter and jumble my words but my speed/voice control is very good, as a lot of my anxiety is gone. But I don't want to be dependent on these drugs/substances to live a NORMAL life... I want to be able to wake up in the morning, walk out to the street, and have a flirty conversation with a hot girl with little-to-no error, or go strike up a conversation with my manager without jumbling my words as much.
Long story short... I'm not mentally anxious of people anymore (I admit I was 5 years ago), now I'm comfortable approaching any stranger and talking to them, it's just when I actually start talking that I start to make these errors with my speech and THEN I get uncomfortable and I embarrass myself.
I love people, I want to know as many people as I can, and in fact even my the most SOCIAL of my friends commend me for knowing so many random people. I always stop and say hello to people that I know, whether they're friends or somebody I've met once. I love people, I just want to somehow erase the speech impediment caused by social anxiety.
I don't have a permanent speech impediment, I know this because I've had conversations before without any error, or when I'm by myself I can talk near-perfectly. Sometimes I'll stumble on a word when I practice talking to myself, but I can correct it at the second attempt. With people, I would just stutter the word 3-4 times before correcting it, and even the correction won't sound good.
Moral of the story: I have a very capable mouth, I have a nice way of words and I've been told I'm very witty. I just have a speech impediment caused by social anxiety and NOW is the time to beat this!
Are there any exercises, therapies, or methods to solving this?
Apparently one should make their breathing very calm and deep when in social situations. I keep forgetting to do it, but I shall try and then I'll report the results.
Another thing, I lost my voice a few days ago, and my speech accuracy was 85%-90%, it was very good. I think having the broken/lost voice wiped away the "initial embarrassment" for social interactions, so once that was gone, I was probably subconsciously less anxious which allowed me almost COMPLETE control over my voice.
Also, when I have a cold beverage or desert (like ice cream), my speech impediment is a little worse, it's like it's harder to move my tongue. But when I'm alone there's almost no difference! All of this is due to social anxiety!
I can sing songs without any error, lyric for lyric, my voice, tone, etc. is all perfect. Even around people. Is it because I know what to say and I'm not anxious about talking to other people?
Thanks guys, and have a nice day.
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