D
deleted #89
Guest
One of the things that I notice of myself lately is my big ego that I have a hard time letting go off. When you have social anxiety the last thing you want is to get rejected or not approve off. Everyday I make sure to experience less rejection and that's exactly what makes it worse.
" 1. Ego defense. You become over-reactive to criticism, which leads to overreaction to "normal" situations, and perception of threat anywhere somebody asks you to do smth, or other social situations. Origin: the "self" was probably often under attack in childhood, so the child cocooned emotionally, to protect the fragile ego. Probably, the small weaknesses or signs of them were exploited by parents and small things often riddled into big emotional arguments which the child of course lost all the time and so developed low self esteem and guilt. E.g. if you did something wrong, any small thing, then arguments will not stop at the subject or explaining how to do it correctly but will go on to tell how stupid you are. Alternatively, if commented on something others did wrong, small issue, it would spillover into massive arguments unrelated to original issue. In that world, cocooning and resorting to escapism and fantasy is probably the best solution, since the only way you can be safe emotionally is by shutting your thoughts to yourself. Whenever you are in social situations, e.g. answering phone, you are tense, as if prepared for a fight. Like when you feel you are physically threatened, you will naturally overreact to small gestures. This time its similar, except the treat is directed to your ego, or self, and physically you.
2. Coping strategy - mainly to cope with fear of rejection (isolating from social group). Again, the purpose is probably to guard unstable relationship with parents, you are afraid to speak out, or be active. Many with social anxiety probably also have passive aggressive behavior and express disagreement by subconsciously forgetting, not doing what they have to do, or doing worse etc. but not actively speaking it out.This is probably a more rational coping strategy, probably developed later in life. "
Thoughts?
" 1. Ego defense. You become over-reactive to criticism, which leads to overreaction to "normal" situations, and perception of threat anywhere somebody asks you to do smth, or other social situations. Origin: the "self" was probably often under attack in childhood, so the child cocooned emotionally, to protect the fragile ego. Probably, the small weaknesses or signs of them were exploited by parents and small things often riddled into big emotional arguments which the child of course lost all the time and so developed low self esteem and guilt. E.g. if you did something wrong, any small thing, then arguments will not stop at the subject or explaining how to do it correctly but will go on to tell how stupid you are. Alternatively, if commented on something others did wrong, small issue, it would spillover into massive arguments unrelated to original issue. In that world, cocooning and resorting to escapism and fantasy is probably the best solution, since the only way you can be safe emotionally is by shutting your thoughts to yourself. Whenever you are in social situations, e.g. answering phone, you are tense, as if prepared for a fight. Like when you feel you are physically threatened, you will naturally overreact to small gestures. This time its similar, except the treat is directed to your ego, or self, and physically you.
2. Coping strategy - mainly to cope with fear of rejection (isolating from social group). Again, the purpose is probably to guard unstable relationship with parents, you are afraid to speak out, or be active. Many with social anxiety probably also have passive aggressive behavior and express disagreement by subconsciously forgetting, not doing what they have to do, or doing worse etc. but not actively speaking it out.This is probably a more rational coping strategy, probably developed later in life. "
Thoughts?