theslowesthand
Banned
Does it "bother" anyone else, that you are "the odd one out" in your family, in terms of being sociable with other family members, or extended family members (& relatives)?.
I've always been aware of this, but now more than ever, as even my mother is now on facebook. Since i'm her "admin" guy, i can get into her email to do stuff, and now i'm seeing screeds & screeds of facebook notifies, many of the names i know from my past, as a child.
So there's a bit of maybe not jealousy/envy, but of being left out. Left to live my own boring, miserable, lonely life all by myself. Nobody to share the burdens of this hard, rough life with. Nobody to cheer me up when i'm down.
But i just have this massive lack of self-worth (& of self-persecution). So much so that i see nobody for days (or weeks) on end, seldom talk to my sibling (phone, email or in person), cannot contact any of my relatives (have a large extended family), not by email, phone, facebook, xmas card, or anything.
As always, i just have this "sense" that almost none of my relatives can really be bothered with me (ie they have bad associations with me, that i am unsociable, etc, etc). Yet with my parents for instance, it's fine, no problems at all. They freely and spontaneously socialize with them all (& they aren't really that sociable either!).
And as the years go by, i'm getting even less and less "sociable", from the very low level of social-bility i started life at. It's all downhill from here, it seems. I started this downwards spiral since leaving school, or during school. And although i'm aware that it's extremely unhealthy, i really can't see ANY way that i can EVER develop a "social life", involving my family, relatives, or others (in real life or even just on the web).
Yep, it's a totally hopeless situation. Oh well, death will "save" me from this particular problem one day....
I've always been aware of this, but now more than ever, as even my mother is now on facebook. Since i'm her "admin" guy, i can get into her email to do stuff, and now i'm seeing screeds & screeds of facebook notifies, many of the names i know from my past, as a child.
So there's a bit of maybe not jealousy/envy, but of being left out. Left to live my own boring, miserable, lonely life all by myself. Nobody to share the burdens of this hard, rough life with. Nobody to cheer me up when i'm down.
But i just have this massive lack of self-worth (& of self-persecution). So much so that i see nobody for days (or weeks) on end, seldom talk to my sibling (phone, email or in person), cannot contact any of my relatives (have a large extended family), not by email, phone, facebook, xmas card, or anything.
As always, i just have this "sense" that almost none of my relatives can really be bothered with me (ie they have bad associations with me, that i am unsociable, etc, etc). Yet with my parents for instance, it's fine, no problems at all. They freely and spontaneously socialize with them all (& they aren't really that sociable either!).
And as the years go by, i'm getting even less and less "sociable", from the very low level of social-bility i started life at. It's all downhill from here, it seems. I started this downwards spiral since leaving school, or during school. And although i'm aware that it's extremely unhealthy, i really can't see ANY way that i can EVER develop a "social life", involving my family, relatives, or others (in real life or even just on the web).
Yep, it's a totally hopeless situation. Oh well, death will "save" me from this particular problem one day....
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