Perhaps the reason why we fear human interaction is this?

Humans......They are truely the most contradicting living things that have walked the face of this earth. Our intelligences have propelled us towards great achievements in life. And yet our stupidity have caused us great destructions and failures in life.

Why is it so that such intelligent creatures can be so suspicious, petty, evil, dishonest, unkind and impatient at the same time? Wars, distrust between countries, lack of faith in the government, racism, bad blood between relatives, family members, friends and colleagues are just some of the things we have to face with.

I have my fair share of all these for 24 years of my existence in this world, by doing so and by being done so to. I'm just so fearful of "rubbing" people the wrong way and being "rubbed" the wrong way by people. As such, i believe that's why i have adopted isolation from society?

We are kind and evil, forgiving and grudge bearing, rational and irrational, trusting and suspicious, smart and stupid, generous and petty, selfless and selfish.

Contradicting is the only word to describle us. I am just as fearful that i will create misunderstanding towards others and others doing the same to me.

Is isolation for humans truly a solution? I yearn for and at the same time fear human interaction. Yes, i know i am contradicting, for i am a human myself.

It is hard to survive in this crazy world....but...people do. Look at movie stars and politicians....They live on people's approval. That's just nuts...yet they do it.....a lot of them become alcoholics or drug users but they do it. Why and how I am not sure? Why is it that even popular people can have bad stuff said about them and they don't care? What seperates them from us? What makes the insensitive jerks keep on being insensitive while the people with SA have to endure their stupidity? Could it be the other way around? Couldn't people with SA be insensitive too?

You hit the nail on the head when you simply said we are all humans, that's the reason we are ALL these things you said because we are human. Everyone human has insecurities, vulnerabilites, scared of not being liked, tell little white lies etc etc, and to answer another question, what separates them from us, well it's simple, their bodies don't react the same way as ours, for instance, if someone said something hurtful to someone with SP, they would probably, blush, sweat, shake etc, but say it to someone who doesn't have it, does not mean that because their body does not reveal their feelings, does not mean they are not hurting inside just like us, so we are all the same in that respect. It is not humans SP people fear, it is only themselves and how they will react to other humans and again it boils down to confidence and realising that we should not be angry with people who do seem more confident and make a good life for themselves as they are not to blame. No-one is to blame for the way our minds work, but it's something that only WE can change, no-one else can do this for us, we have to accept responsibility for our own lives and start living them. It can be done, it just takes courage and determination to realise that we ALL contribute to this world, no matter how small.

x

I know my thoughts are crazy and i would probably piss off every people on this globe by voicing this bluntly.

These days, there lingers a strong dislike and disappointment with people all around, including myself (probably despise myself the most). No doubt there are nice people around but my mind only zeros in and registers those ugly and nasty imperfections in humans. Sounds funny right? How can perfection and human being be associated together, you must asking.

Really, i would trade my human life to be a bird, then probably i wouldn't have obsessive thoughts, depression and stuff. That bird brain of mine would probably be too dumb to think too much. I wouldn't have to join this world that seems to revolve solely by money, be responsible for its destruction if we really get to that point in the future.

Best of all, i get to fly like a pilot.

(Perhaps i cant recover from therapy cos i dun want to?)

I feel exactly the same way you do, Bombcat. So guess what, your not alone! I told my psych that I really don't know if my disorders are in the same classification as the others with sp, agoraphobia, etc., because I don't ----long to be with as much as I fear---- I don't even long to be with, I just fear, & I don't even know if it's genuine fear or just that I refuse to let myself be subject to the Mr. & Ms. ATTITUDES out there. If I run into ONE person with that attiude, it can omit even 20 that may have been pleasant, & I always encounter at least ONE. That person at the store that gives you that look: "How DARE you be in MY way!" ULGH!! And the ones out on the road really get to me... it doesn't matter to THEM that there are 50+ vehicles in front of out and you can't go anywhere... but because you are the person IN FRONT of Mr. or Ms. ATTITUDE behind you, they are cussing YOU out, like we are responsible for the traffic jam or slow ups. I almost always do the speed limit, esp. after getting a speeding ticket a year ago (ouch, that HURT!) and I've ALWAYS got people right up on my back bumper... if I have the time, I pull over, let them past, & pull back out again. :roll:

Gosh, I dread just about anything outside of my 'safe zone'... even just to go outside, there are the nosey 'holier than thou' neighbors to contend with.

Hi, BombCat and solo1,

I was just thinking that the problem I have with social phobia is that I think in all-or-nothing terms: Either I did something right or I did something wrong that will screw me (and my family) up royally! It is hard to look at a myself with strengths and weaknesses. I would only like to look at my strengths, however, what I really fear is that my weaknesses will be known. Because I can't accept my weaknesses, I try to cover them up, creating more anxiety for myself (You should see me at a party, trying to act normal...I'm a freak.)
The way I feel about myself can also be applied to how I feel about others. I only see either their weaknesses or strengths. It is hard for me to see the real person underneath my imposed illusion. Either someone is the perfect intellectual saint or an evil devil puppy from hell. That is not fair! This hinders my relationships with others. For my superiors (the intellectual saints), I don't approach them because I fear that I will totally embarrass myself and that I am worthy to be in their presence. For the devil puppies, anything they do confirms that they are the scum of the earth (and so I won't approach them because they are not worthy of my presence). So that leaves me in the same damn place....Alone. I' can't make friends with anyone! Damn!
I know that if I can't accept myself, there is no way that I will be able to accept other....and visa-versa.

Gosh Orl, I think that's the first time I 'heard' you swear, you lil' devil pup! (Seriously just kidding ORL!! )

It seems to me, that wether they are the intellects/saints or the devil pups, they all have the same 'holier than thou' attitude regardless, and they all have the same agenda--- if they have no 'use' for you or something you can offer, your existence is of no importance to them. And if they do have something to gain by getting to know you, then the entire game they play is PHONEY.