people don't hear me

I hate when I respond to someone or try to get someones attention and they don't hear me. It's sooo embarassing, having to repeat.
The other day at work, I went to this guys cubicle (hes facing away from me) and I was saying his name a few times and he didnt hear me, I was so embarassed, b/c I know the others around heard. Why is my voice so quiet? Later that day, I was talkng to that same guy and he was having trouble hearing me, once when I responded to him and he looked this this other guy that was with us, like he didnt know what I said. AAAHHH Its so frustrating I have to repeat stuff, even more embarassing when others see it happening

oooooh moog....i know just what you're saying....happens to me at work all the time!!!...like the other day, i tried to get girl's attention.....standing pretty close to me...and i was like..."Barb"...no reply....i repeat..."Barb".....no louder that the first time, no matter how hard i try :evil: and Barb still can't hear me...and other co-worker standing close to me,... watching the whole thing....finally, i pretty much have to go stand right beside her...to get her attention...and can't spit my words out right....and then i have to repeat that also...makes me feel like a fool :!:

I know... I'm quiet too. People sometimes say "you really should be louder"... and then I get really upset/angry about it. It's crazy, but somehow it makes me feel full of flaws that I can't surmount. Yeah, I'm overblowing it... :roll:

When I was a kid I was really quiet.

One day I was sitting in the back of the bus on the way home from school. A high school girl was sitting a few rows ahead of me. She was laying down on the seat sleeping, with her legs stretched across the aisle onto the other seat. I had to get off the bus, and didnt want to climb over her legs cuz I would brush up against her and that would be awkward. So I said, "Excuse me" in my normal quiet voice. Nothing. I said it again a little louder. Nothing. So I said it again and kinda kicked her leg. I didn't do it to be mean but I was getting desperate. Everyone was waiting for me to get off. So she finally woke up and moved. She kinda rolled her eyes and sighed. What a bitch.

Gosh I was so embarrassed!

Don't assume these people are being rude to you though, I happen to have bad hearing, especially on the right ear, and I sometimes notice people get uncomfortable when I indicate that I couldn't make out what they said, and my empathic nature makes me uncomfortable after seeing it in them... uhh I guess this isn't very helpful, maybe assume it's some innoccent reason I guess.

neolithic_man said:

Don't assume these people are being rude to you though, I happen to have bad hearing, especially on the right ear

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Yeah, I can relate to that. I feel akward all the time because when people are talking to me I make them repeat themselves way too often. I tend to poke fun at myself for being half deaf so that they don't feel bad if they are mumbling, and I don't feel stupid for not understanding what they are saying.

I'd rather be thought of as deaf than just plain stupid.

I had the same problem also but then my 7th grade history teacher who I absolutely hated at the time would make me stand up and repeat everyything I said untill I said it loud enoph. I soon got to the point where I would yeal the awnser to her. when you dont feel comfortable to begin with it makes it alot harder when you have to stand up to say it to a whole class.

My voice has always low volume and that is because typing instead of speaking isn't helping :evil:

I make efforts to speak so that other would hear me, but I think most SP ers are hard to be heard because of lack of conversation.

exactly my conversational skills aren't up to par with other peeps my age..aint right! ....and if u make urself look like a fool oh well! ... no ones throwing you a life saver..smh :? my conversations start and end with "peep" ...jen did u say something? 8O

one time, a girl said something to me and i replied but she didn't hear me properly, so she said "what?" and i repeated what i said, then she said "Gosh, speak up..you really need to talk more louder." and it upset me, i haven't really got a quiet voice, i can be loud mouthed if i want too, and when i'm with the right people. But with people i don't know or don't know very well, my voice goes quiet automatically.
And then i had it on the areoplane when i was going to Australia, i was in the window seat and it was meal time so when the air hostess came to me to ask me what meal i wanted, I told him and he still didn't hear me, i think it was the noise of the plane that makes it worst. He sort of put his hand behind his ear, and gestured for me to say it again, and then he heard me, i didn't really want to shout so that the whole plane heard what i wanted.
Then on the way back from Australia, an air hostess came round with a trolley of drinks and asked me if i wanted one, and i said "Cola" and she didn't hear me, so i said it abit louder and she still didn't then she came up to me closer and said "I'm sorry, i can't hear you."
gggrrr and it's embaressing coz it draws attention to you, and i was worried every meal time, that they wouldn't be able to hear me again.
Its my shyness that causes my voice to go quiet than it usually is when i'm talking to people i don't know.

I've heard people with quiet voices talking and the people they are talking to hear them first time round, why not with me!

I think it's very common among social anxiety/phobia sufferers to often have to be asked to repeat things.

I know for me, I was always more quiet around people I wasnt familiar with, but I could be really loud around my friends. I was pretty much known as the person who got "shh-ed" in church, etc. But with my anxiety, the way its gotten now, my voice is not near as strong as it used to be, in ANY situation.

A lot of times I feel like I've lost "complete control" of it.

But the whole getting frusturated with people asking you to speak up...yeah that's definitely annoying. But don't take it so harshly. Theyre not trying to like get under your skin. They can only do that IF YOU LET THEM. Maybe they really COULDNT hear you? It happens all the time.

Once again that's our anxieties taking control of us, telling us..."oh that persons going to notice.." Just repeat it to the best of your ability, thats all you can do. People are going to be arrogant about it, selfish, the list could go on. We have to realize that other people really don't notice as much as you think they do, theyre too busy with their own lives. That sounds mean, but really. If you don't bring attention (in that way) to yourself, no one else will notice either.

Whats that quote by some president "You can't let people make you feel inferior without your consent"

ALWAYS remember that!

Reholla said:

I think it's very common among social anxiety/phobia sufferers to often have to be asked to repeat things.

I know for me, I was always more quiet around people I wasnt familiar with, but I could be really loud around my friends. I was pretty much known as the person who got "shh-ed" in church, etc. But with my anxiety, the way its gotten now, my voice is not near as strong as it used to be, in ANY situation.

A lot of times I feel like I've lost "complete control" of it.

But the whole getting frusturated with people asking you to speak up...yeah that's definitely annoying. But don't take it so harshly. Theyre not trying to like get under your skin. They can only do that IF YOU LET THEM. Maybe they really COULDNT hear you? It happens all the time.

Once again that's our anxieties taking control of us, telling us..."oh that persons going to notice.." Just repeat it to the best of your ability, thats all you can do. People are going to be arrogant about it, selfish, the list could go on. We have to realize that other people really don't notice as much as you think they do, theyre too busy with their own lives. That sounds mean, but really. If you don't bring attention (in that way) to yourself, no one else will notice either.

Whats that quote by some president "You can't let people make you feel inferior without your consent"

ALWAYS remember that!

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thanks for sharing your opinion !

i also have trouble with this and i dont know what to do about it.
Sometimes i have to tap people on their shoulder to get their attention because otherwise they cant hear me when i speak to them. Especially in loud places.
what annoys me the most , is when i see someone i know walking by,and i say "Hi" and they dont hear me - i feel so ignored,

or when playing a soccer game and im like "yo here". and they dont see me, inside im like "wtf, bi tch, pass me the fuc king BALL! "

can relate

I can relate to this also, im very soft spoken and sometimes i have to repeat myself also.Sometimes people would say your voice is so low, man i hated that when it happens.What do you say in situations like that?

I dont know if this is possible to know...but do yall think people can't hear you because of SA? Or do you think you just have a naturally soft voice??

I know for me it's a combination of both, but I honestly cant remember what my REAL, relaxed voice sounds like UGHH im so ready for my SA to end!!!

I feel like a creepy loser admitting this but I think the reason I talk quietly is because I feel like what I have to say isn't worth hearing.

I dont think thats being creepy or a loser. I think you may have a valid point there, the volume of your voice is one factor but also peoples ability to be able to hear you can come from things like are you speaking clearly and slowly or are you mumbling?, are you looking at the person you are speaking to or are you talking to the floor?.

I have this problem as well and I have come to think "whats the point in talking if no one can understand me anyway".

Yes. I can relate to that. I would feel really embarrassed when I said "Hi" or waved to somebody and he/she didn't respond. Or when I called for teacher's attention and he/she did not hear me because the classes were too loud and I literally had to yell. It is quite embarrassing in the following couple seconds, but right now when I think about it I don't feel embarrassed at all. I assume that nobody would ever remember or even want to think about this random guy who said hi but the other person did not respond or this guy who yelled out teacher's name in class especially when everyone else was busy talking.