tecknohed
Active member
Hi.
I had posted a previous intro but had to edit it 'cause it wasn't to good - I'd had a bad day. So heres the (slightly) edited version:
Always felt too awkward using these forums so this post (and all my others) may not be the most interesting.
Still, I'll have my say.
Had SP all my life but got worse during & after puberty. Couldn't go to school. Hung out with the wrong crowd - started smoking, then drink, drugs. Was only when I began to kick my various 'heavy' drug habits that I became aware I had 'something' wrong with me. That was @ 8 years ago. (my drug of choice was amphetamine in case you're wondering - not surprising with all the prolonged energy & confidence it gives).
Sinse then I've been on over 20 different meds, had psychotherapy, hypnotherapy & tons of counselling. Tried self help groups too. None have really helped.
Had one MAGIC year on a drug called phenelzine (Nardil). Went from vitually crippled to making friends & going out, had my first girlfriend, found work, lived independently for 1st time. I was making all this happen!
Things haven't quite worked out though. Now it seems to have all withered away. I've no friends. Been outa work for a year - I just cant bare it. Rarely leave the flat. My meds seem to have pooped out (I'm on 3). I still have my girlfriend, but often wonder if thats where I went wrong. Since meeting her other things went on the back burner. I do try not to think like this, but the thoughts there.
I know most of us here know what SP/SA is like, but to have it magically dissappear and live without it, then return in full force again is one helluva tease believe!
On the up side, I've just started a gym & had my first session yesterday. It felt good, despite me nearly bottling it! I'm going back today. Went swimming for the first time in @ 15 years last week and that was enjoyable too. I think we all forget how important excersise is.
Think thats enough for now,
Peace to all. :wink:
I had posted a previous intro but had to edit it 'cause it wasn't to good - I'd had a bad day. So heres the (slightly) edited version:
Always felt too awkward using these forums so this post (and all my others) may not be the most interesting.
Still, I'll have my say.
Had SP all my life but got worse during & after puberty. Couldn't go to school. Hung out with the wrong crowd - started smoking, then drink, drugs. Was only when I began to kick my various 'heavy' drug habits that I became aware I had 'something' wrong with me. That was @ 8 years ago. (my drug of choice was amphetamine in case you're wondering - not surprising with all the prolonged energy & confidence it gives).
Sinse then I've been on over 20 different meds, had psychotherapy, hypnotherapy & tons of counselling. Tried self help groups too. None have really helped.
Had one MAGIC year on a drug called phenelzine (Nardil). Went from vitually crippled to making friends & going out, had my first girlfriend, found work, lived independently for 1st time. I was making all this happen!
Things haven't quite worked out though. Now it seems to have all withered away. I've no friends. Been outa work for a year - I just cant bare it. Rarely leave the flat. My meds seem to have pooped out (I'm on 3). I still have my girlfriend, but often wonder if thats where I went wrong. Since meeting her other things went on the back burner. I do try not to think like this, but the thoughts there.
I know most of us here know what SP/SA is like, but to have it magically dissappear and live without it, then return in full force again is one helluva tease believe!
On the up side, I've just started a gym & had my first session yesterday. It felt good, despite me nearly bottling it! I'm going back today. Went swimming for the first time in @ 15 years last week and that was enjoyable too. I think we all forget how important excersise is.
Think thats enough for now,
Peace to all. :wink:
