My attempt at complete honesty!

Hello to all you courageous people on this site!!

It was only when I started to read all of your open and honest stories that I realised how much I cover up my Social Anxiety. I always try to put a positive spin on it, to make it more pallatable for other people. I mean, I wouldn't want them thinking I'm some kind of wierdo! :?
So, here it goes - my attempt at complete honesty. I was diagnosed with SA four years ago. I haven't been able to return to work since or have any kind of social life. I sometimes find it hard to leave the house. I've been through the whole counselling thing, which has really helped me face alot of my past issues, but it hasn't really made any difference as regards my SA. Every 'professional' I have seen discharged me in the belief that I had made a full recovery! What's that about? I still can't even get on a bus. In fact, I'm starting to think that I have Performance Anxiety (does anyone else?) because I can do things on the spur of the moment, but if I know in advance that I have to make an appointment or meet someone, I can't do it. I can't plan anything because I spend the whole lead-up stressing about it. It's a bloody pain in the arse, but I'm coping and I guess that's all that matters.

Thanks for this safe space.

hiya Luckiecharm ...i also have this performance anxiety thing....where i stress out and worry hours or days...(weeks?) in advance of anything...but...less if it's spur of the moment like you say :roll:

Hiya Maggie,

Glad to hear someone else experiences this. I spent so long trying to do that 'feel the fear and do it anyway' thing, thinking that if I faced my fears enough times, they would eventually go away. At least that's what all the 'professionals' say. But I kept trying to explain to them that no matter how many times I faced my fears, it was like starting from scratch again the very next day. And if I do something really well the first time, it makes it worse because I have higher expectations of myself the next time. Oh Lord, it's a bit of a viscious circle :roll: But I have made the concious decision to just accept it as part of my life and try to work around it as best I can. It can be very frustrating, but I'm tired of beating myself up over it. How about you?

Hey that's really sweet
I've only been on this site a couple of days, but I'm learning so much about myself - like I didn't realise how self-defeating I really am! No matter how much I achieve, I never think it's good enough. I guess that's the worst part about SA - you spend so much time alone with your own thoughts that you start to become them. It's great to get someone else's perspective on your problems, suddenly I don't feel like such a moaner anymore :wink:

Luckiecharm said:

Hey that's really sweet
like I didn't realise how self-defeating I really am! No matter how much I achieve, I never think it's good enough.

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I'm starting to realize how self-defeating I am also, it's like I set myself up to fail or expect to fail. I tend to always wonder if I'm doing things "correctly" and stress about the smallest of details.

Also I tend to not really listen when other people speak it's like I'm wrapped up in my own thoughts and get distratcted easily. Sometimes I wonder how people and just talk and talk, for me getting a complete thought or sentence out is a mircle. Even after I speak I second guess what I say.