frogpetal

Hey... been gone for a while.... sorry!!!! I am mad always. I think my obsession becomes worst when i wash cause the more i wash the more i feel there is smth to wash and it's dreivin me maaaad.... I cannot anymore.... vibes can b everywhere and even if poeple r gud sometimes they carry negatives and the brain doesn[t know what it is and the soul doesn't iike it and so washin hands is like a desperate attempt to wash it away.... how bout understanding what's really goin on...? or just letting go.... Lambie hope to hear from u

Hi petal
My 'thing'(i hate using that as if it's the only thing that defines me) agrophobia, panic attacks, any social situations, people in general make me feel uncomfortable

. I hate the thought of washin my hands... I can't take it no more. GOd it's stressing me so much in everything that I do. I am just bocked at times...

Thanks for your message

Part 2: About 2 weeks ago,I decided not to wash anything in an obssesive way or my hands;for the first time since 4 years, I am getting better at it... after almost feeling like a drug addict without his drugs and even itching at times, head akes, trouble breathing peacefully, today for the first time, I spent almost the whole day ok untill the obssesion stroke again and still I didn't wash my hands as I set not to in my mind and now I am nervous, anxious and my head hurts. I want it to stop!!! Can anyone advice me? thx

I always feel that I have to wash my hands. 1 time I stayed 30 min in and out of the bathroom to wash my hands every 2 min.I started to sweat and felt dizzy, I was exhausted. It gets so bad at times, it hurts me to a point that I feel that my body will jump by the window without even my conscentment just to stop the mumbling in my head that is tellling me that I am dirty. To make it clear I love live and will never jump. However, it's just an idea to say how it is wasting my life. I waste my time and my life thinking about that. I want this to stop; I'm sure it will someday... But still at times, I wonder and I just want it to shut up that voice in my head that says that my hands are dirty and that I can't touch anything. Even at times, I stay doing things barely holding the things I come across otherwise I end up washing them to. Part 2 in the second following message.