Losing friends (and why?)

God_help_Us

Active member
Hi. Don't post here often, but here goes. I've lately lost a few friends (you know, they stop responding to you altogether.) I know they're alive, but they're gone from my life.

So... I asked one parent about why I maybe lost them. They pointed out that I complain about my problems. So? I don't complain ad nauseum, just sometimes. They compared it to admitting you've seen a ghost... that's how bad it makes me look. Weird.

But I disagree. Does that sound right to you?
 
Hi. Don't post here often, but here goes. I've lately lost a few friends (you know, they stop responding to you altogether.) I know they're alive, but they're gone from my life.

So... I asked one parent about why I maybe lost them. They pointed out that I complain about my problems. So? I don't complain ad nauseum, just sometimes. They compared it to admitting you've seen a ghost... that's how bad it makes me look. Weird.

But I disagree. Does that sound right to you?

yeh ive thought about this subject a lot as i too have lost many friends over the years and never seem to retain them....they just sort of dissapear without a trace don't they...

i believe its beacuse we as social phobes don't really know how to engage our friends as well as others, and that while in the company of our friends we are too pre-occupied with how we are comming across to them and our image, or worrying about our shyness and trying to hide it, rather then simply just being ourselves, relaxing and enjoying the company of the other person...people tend to pick up on this after a while and it puts them off i think. or maybe we just give off unhappy vibes to put it simply, and arn't fun to hang around for that reason.

what your parent is trying to say while good intentioned, is pretty off-track...people try to help us by giving explanations but becuase they have no personal experiance of what its like to be us they only guess as to what the problem and solution is to it going on their own life experiances...which usually is of no use to us.
 
Cause they are disloyal friends. Also you need to get used to the fact that everyone is an individual with their own identity/lives. It's not uncommon for friends to disappear and want to live their life. People change. People come and go all the time.
 
Also, another thing, tell your parents to mind their own business. Nothing worse than a critical and overbearing parent.
 

los77

Well-known member
The other day I noticed that I haven't been in contact with one of my best friends for quite a while. Looking back though he would always be the one to contact me first and invite me to places. I could see how it could dissapoint him after a while. He might feel like I don't care enough of him to invite him somewhere.

So i guess where I'm trying to go with this, i think i have to take the initiative and contact him and you might have to do the same in your case if u havent already done so... but it is much easier to say then do it
 
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