SocialPhobiaWorld.com  
     

Home Today's Posts Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
 
Go Back   SocialPhobiaWorld.com > Other related Disorders > OCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Forum
 
Search this Thread
Old 03-10-2015
Gia
 

So, I am a girl and I have been stalking a girl on facebook and we aren't friends. We share 18 mutual friends. So I have been keeping a tab on her for 11 months now by checking her profile every weekend. I just finished college and I have been at home since Dec '14 and this has made me hooked to laptop. I don't have my best friends here and my grad school doesnt start until August.Also,I have a minor leg fracture so unable to go out and refresh myself.Stalking her significantly increased these past 2 months.

So basically how it all started :
1)My best friends and I had been to Niagara falls in New York in mid 2013.That's when I had seen her for the 1st time.She looked very pretty as usual and I recalled that I had seen her on photos uploaded by my friends on facebook. I looked at her again.She was far from us with her family.I smiled at the co-incidence. We live in India and I see her in US out of no where.I told my besties about it,saw her again and then moved on.

2)We took a trip to Washington DC the day after. My friends were clicking my photos and there I SAW HER AGAIN. I was highly surprised at this co-incidence this time. Saw her for few min and then moved on.

3)I came back home in Dec last yr from college and visited a nearby town with family where we had spent few years prior to shifting. I was stuck in traffic and AGAIN!!I saw her walking on the footpath.My eyes were stuck at her sight and this time the co-incidence really surprised me.

4)I went to a famous area with my family and AGAIN I SAW HER WITH HER FRIENDS the same day

5)My head was spinning at these co-incidences.I discussed these with one of my close friends(who knows her) and learnt she lived in the very same building that I used to live in and she studied in the very same school my parents had initially enrolled me in prior to shifting.

I was baffled at the co-incidences and my friends laughed.That day as I reached home,I saw that she again appeared as my recommended friend suggestion.I used to ignore it before but that night i was compelled to see her profile.My friends joked that we may have had a strong relationship in our previous lives..LOL
She looks incredibly pretty and is very charming with her extremely beautiful smile.I learnt that we share few common interests.My good guy friend,let's call him Kevin,works in navy and is her best friend.Kevin and I met up in Jan this year and he uploaded a photo of us on fb which she liked.So she did see me through fb. I have been so crazily infatuated by her. And NO,infatuation here does not mean the lusty getting into a romantic relationship thingy. I AM VERY MUCH STRAIGHT and so is she.
It's just that I have been badly smitten by her. I have been so desperate to follow her on instagram and send her a friend request on facebook but have always held myself back.

I had decided that this time I'd ask Kevin to organize a rendezvous on May and I'll finally get to meet her then and know her as a person. I have been desperately wanting to be her friend. However,I just got to know last week that she's permanently shifting to UAE with her family. I was shattered.I felt so horrible.She left India last night .I felt really sad. Killed me inside.I CRIED (SO INSANE). My self esteem poked me hard and has been literally screaming "WTH IS WRONG WITH YOU? SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU.YOU BOTH HAVE NO RELATION WHATSOEVER AND YOU ARE SHEDDING TEARS??" and at the same time the other half of me is pinching my fragile,emotional,naive heart and sulking "You had just one opportunity to meet her and you lost it.She's gone forever." I have never been this way. I dont understand what's wrong with me.I have been so desperate to remain updated about her life through her photos.I try my best to divert my mind but her photos strike my mind.All I know is that either I should send her a friend request or I need to move on.If she accepts it,well and great.I know i'll hover over her posts for a day or two and when i see it all,my obsession will be gone.

Kevin returns home in May.I made a plan that I'd meet him and ask him to introduce me to his best friends.Aron,Kevin's closest best friend,is her bestie of 6 yrs.So I thought I'd meet Kevin and Aron and tell them about all the co-incidences I have shared with respect to her and how amazing it would have been if we had the chance to meet finally.I know they'd laugh on hearing all the co-incidences because they sound surreal.They might also tell her about it on chat.Regardless,I thought that then I'd shoot her a msg on fb that night and tell her "Hi.You probably don't know me but there's something interesting I've to tell you.So I met Aron and Kevin today and we got talking about you.We have shared a lot of co-incidences unknowingly" and then I'd tell about all the events from Niagara falls to everything later.I'll keep my tone cool,casual,funny and excited.She'd know that I am not a spam/fake person and I am friends with her besties.We might end up being good friends,although just virtually since she's gone.I'd be instead surprised if she would reject my frnd req but well,at least I would have tried.
I know this is crazy. Please be respectful and polite.I'd really hate any judgemental person to comment here and be rude. I am going through a tough weird time right now and I am sure things would get much better when my grad school resumes from August but that's a lot of time.What do you think I should do? Should I go ahead with my plan of meeting her besties this May and then msg her with a frnd req or would it be highly creepy of me?Any positive wise thoughts appreciated.Thank you
PS - SORRY ABOUT THE LONG READ !!!
Gia is offline  
Old 03-10-2015
DepravedFurball's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gia View Post
My friends joked that we may have had a strong relationship in our previous lives..LOL

That, right there, is how I see it, too... and I'm not even one who much believes in 'fate' or 'karma' or 'kismet'.

I do, however, sincerely enjoy the though of there being souls that we're tied through across the ages... having *someone* that you inherently feel comfortable with despite barely 'knowing' them...


Still, you should be the one to contact her, and not just getting your friends to do it. Even though it's terrifying and awkward, it'll mean more if you take the leap yourself.

Start small, just by saying that you've heard the two of you used to live in the same building, went to the same places, and share a few of the same interests. Keep it at that, and let her reply. Relate just a couple of small things per mail, and don't just dump everything on her at once.

Sucks that she's moving so far away... but if your gravity is as potent as it sounds, it probably won't be long before you see her again.
DepravedFurball is offline  
Old 03-11-2015
Sacrament's Avatar
Elite User
 

As long as you're not creepy about it.
Sacrament is offline  
Old 03-11-2015
Diend's Avatar
Expert User
 

this is what happens when people aren't prepped on dealing with their feelings. it turns into this all-consuming obsession.
Diend is offline  
Old 03-11-2015
Gia
 

[QUOTE=DepravedFurball;817729]That, right there, is how I see it, too... and I'm not even one who much believes in 'fate' or 'karma' or 'kismet'.

I do, however, sincerely enjoy the though of there being souls that we're tied through across the ages... having *someone* that you inherently feel comfortable with despite barely 'knowing' them...[\QUOTE]

Yea,even I don't believe in fate,previous lives and all such. Although yes,even I believe that with some people your level of comfort and closeness just strikes instantly even though you have just met.

I don't know if we would have been best friends/good friends had we met long back but what I do strongly believe is that we would have had a good connection. Now,I am not totally into zodiac sign stuff but sometimes I believe in them given their 85% accuracy in judgement. I'm a Pisces(emotional,sensitive) and she's a Virgo(very strong,pragmatic).They both are completely opposite.But I've noticed that in general people find it comfortable to open up themselves to me without me having to do anything.I have learnt that we both are very different individuals. She's a LOT more social.One of those people with 1500 friends on fb out of which I'm pretty sure she personally knows most of them.She's a party lover who can't stay at home more than 2 evenings at a row,whereas,my parents don't let me go out much.Just 3 days ago I asked about her to a close friend of mine,who studied with her in the same school, and I was bit surprised with her reaction.My friend said that she has changed a lot and said that she never liked her.When I asked her why,she said she had a lot of bad attitude since she was little and would belittle people(probably because of wealth,looks,lifestyle).She also said that she was a manipulative person and has no intention in talking to her ever.
I know nobody would like to be friends with someone about whom you've heard bad things.However,the fact that some of the people I closely know (Kevin and few others) are her best friends since college,makes me feel that she isn't a bad person. Yea,she maybe a rich spoiled brat but that doesn't always make you a bad human being.
Gia is offline  
Old 04-16-2015
 

Profile lists you as a human male
Avatar is offline  
Post Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search


Similar Threads to It's long and unconventional but please don't judge me
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Do you judge others the way you fear they judge you? EscapeArtist Social Anxiety Forum 5 07-11-2010 06:02 PM
Do you believe people can only judge you negatively... mikey3 Social Anxiety Forum 9 09-27-2009 08:39 PM
Don't judge the book by the cover Remus Social Anxiety Forum 4 04-19-2009 03:48 AM
Never judge others: looks can be deceiving! patheticloser Social Anxiety Forum 1 02-11-2007 10:33 AM
Are you a good judge of charecter? 4myself Social Anxiety UK 6 10-14-2005 09:58 PM



Mobile Version
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.2
All times are GMT. The time now is 11:34 AM.