is it avoidant or something else?

so ive seen the symtoms.
and it sounds a lot like me.
but... i also have a lot of other things going on that make me thing its something else.
most of the symptoms match me well
but theres more.
for one my paranoia.
i always think people are out to get me.
i could be walking down the street and think someone is going to stab me.
i think my mother is spying on me thru my cell phone.
i think shes bugged it so she can here me talk to myself. (not on the phone)
so i turn my phone off when i think of it.

i always think my GF is cheating on me a plotting behind my back.
oh and the fact that i have a GF is a miracle.
she had every right to leave me a long time ago.
i have been seeing her for almost 6 years and i will avoid seeing her for weeks at a time.

also i have strange thoughts.
for a while i believed i could control the wind with my mind.
im 24 now and ive had thoughts like this my whole life.
people just say that i have an active immagination.
bit ill change what im doing if i feel i have to for the things i think i can do.

i think people can read my thoughts.
whenever im with someone i think they can hear when im thinking and they dont like it.
so ill avoid them for a while.

and sometimes i feel like someone is in the room with me... but theres no one there. i think maybe its a ghost... but the who?
perhaps my father? or is it something evil thats watching me?

i hear voices sometimes.
they dont speak in sentences.
but ill hear a single word when im completely alone.
i think that someone must be trying to contact me to get me a msg of some kind.
often these voices can barely be heard. perhaps just a trick of my mind.

i tend to see things out of the corner of my eye.
they apear to be figures moving in some way.
perhaps men.
ill see them dart out into the road when im driving.
but when i look. theres nothing there.
they aprear to be shadows. but there is nothing there that even remotely looks like what i saw.

also in case you couldnt tell a ramble on and on.
what starts off on a perfectly logical topic will spiral into something else entirely and often makes no sense.
ive tried my best to keep to the subject in this thread.

also my anxiety doesnt seminish as i get to know someone.
as i said earlier. ive had a GF for 6 years. and i can barely call her cause i think she doesnt really want to talk to me. shes with someone else.

ok ive rambled enough.
i could keep going but my arm is starting to hurt.
does andyone know what might be up with me?

i dont think i have 2 nasty disorder
occam's razor says the simplest soulution is usualy right.
so i think im looking at one disorder here.

ive made an appointment with a shrink.
but its not for weeks.
and id like to go in with some ideas for him.
but then he may think im a hypocondriac...
ok ok i need to stop now.
any help is appreciated.

so quiet here.
anyone got anything?

i dont no much about this but some of the symptons u have i feel may i ask was u ever bullied at school ? really badly ? mabye some of the things u have cud of been of bullying ?

The best thing for you to do is to explain some of these thoughts and feelings to the psychiatrist when you see them. If you feel you can't do it vocally, write down what you want to say to them and give it to them to read. It isn't uncommon to do this.

I think you should print out what you posted on this forum and show it to the psychiatrist. Be as open and honest with the doctor even if you think he/she doesn't like you or is out to get you. Let go of your insecurities and let the doctor help you no matter what. Pls. don't avoid going.

I don't know what is wrong with you, but my mother was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic when I was 6 yrs old (that's over 30 yrs ago) and she got treatment (took medication and went for therapy). Unlike you she did not know to ask for help...it just happened suddenly. She had a "crisis" and the police came etc. and took her to hospital. There she got the help she needed. After that she lived a "normal" life...so there's no need to be afraid of getting help. Just don't let it carry on ... believe me, you don't want to face a "crisis" situation. As someone who has lived with a mentally disturbed person for many years, I advise you to not keep your problems bottled up. Don't let people dismiss them and tell you to forget about it because it's nothing. Address the issue head on by seeking the help of a professional. It's worth the effort to deal with any mental condition in the beginning, before it progresses too far. You are lucky that you are able to recognize that there is probably something wrong and you are seeking help. Don't lose the opportunity to change your life around.

Best of luck to you.