I used to be a snob

milo2020

Active member
I was a very insecure person, during my college years I used to feel moody at times, the torment from others and anxiety got to me, I had a vision that everyone from school and town thought I was a weirdo.

I'm getting intrusive thoughts of how I used to snub some people or act like I don't know them, out of shame, not that I was higher than them, like these girls who one or two in their group used to call me a freak or complain they had to sit next to me in class when being disruptive. Not all of them were like that, but I did, and I know it's 11 years ago, when I wad in my late teens and meant to be growing up, my intrusive thoughts are back, and now I feel guilty and bad about it. Why I was like that, I don't know...I couldn't make eye contact and acted like a snobbish **** and acted the way some people would act to me....

That would cause them to probably feel offended I think, or think I'm so full of myself, or feel I hate them, when I don't really.

I do say hi to some of them now and smile, and they smile back, others never look at me anymore.

I feel bad about it, maybe some day they might mention it to me, I don't know...
 

Miserum

Well-known member
There's no point in feeling bad about it. It's been done. And like you yourself have realized, you were only a kid; this was just a part of your awkward "growing-up" phase. Your brain wasn't even fully developed at that time, nor were you experienced in life. They have moved on most likely, you should too. And even if they haven't, you're (I'm assuming) living a separate, unconnected life from them so it doesn't really matter now anyway. Focus on the present and what's going on in your life, not events that happened over a decade ago that have no real bearing on your current circumstances.

I do say hi to some of them now and smile, and they smile back, others never look at me anymore.

Though I do have one question. Why are you still in touch with these people after 11 years if they aren't your friends?
 

milo2020

Active member
Thanks for your advice! :) To answer your question, I meant if I see them when in town like walking in the street or in a supermarket. It's a small town.

There's no point in feeling bad about it. It's been done. And like you yourself have realized, you were only a kid; this was just a part of your awkward "growing-up" phase. Your brain wasn't even fully developed at that time, nor were you experienced in life. They have moved on most likely, you should too. And even if they haven't, you're (I'm assuming) living a separate, unconnected life from them so it doesn't really matter now anyway. Focus on the present and what's going on in your life, not events that happened over a decade ago that have no real bearing on your current circumstances.



Though I do have one question. Why are you still in touch with these people after 11 years if they aren't your friends?
 
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