Now at 27, I grew up as one of those outcast bullied lonely special ed kids. Nowadays most people are shocked I even went through special ed. I always tended to beat myself up whenever I screwed up (perceived/real). That has become highly mitigated but still a bitch.
The social skills realm is damn frustrating...
What on paper are simple rules become unexpectedly complicated IRL (in real life).
For example:
don't put with with taunting comments. In practice, there's a certain way you stick up for yourself. Take offense at a comment meant to be friendly and people think you're weird/overreacting.
don't ever let people treat you badly. In practice, you must assess the context and people involved. For example, someone's wife may have died and you'll ask them about the funeral. "I don't care how you get there, just do it!!!!!!!" they sharply yell. Well, you just gotta shrug and understand he's in pain.
I hate dealing with freaking morons who say: "Go get the skills!!" I wanna say "**** you assholes!!!" Yeah, go get the skills and embarass oneself cause you **** up on an unwritten social rule. Oh and speaking of such...
You'd think just be intelligent enough and you'll have the socializing down. Not so. The social world is loaded with unwritten social codes whose application changes from context to context, person to person. As you've seen with rule #2, it may not even apply to your situation. In the awkward learning stages, you're consantly ****in it up. The sands are ever shifting.
How have I mitigated this? I've become a part of the longboard skateboarding world. These guys are real chill and give me lots of room to **** up. Plus it's physical, so the pressure ain't so high to socially perform. Nobody seems to put up facades (unlike social dinners, etc). Not too challenging (nightclubs, bars, upscale dining, etc) or too below (aspergers).
The social skills realm is damn frustrating...
What on paper are simple rules become unexpectedly complicated IRL (in real life).
For example:
don't put with with taunting comments. In practice, there's a certain way you stick up for yourself. Take offense at a comment meant to be friendly and people think you're weird/overreacting.
don't ever let people treat you badly. In practice, you must assess the context and people involved. For example, someone's wife may have died and you'll ask them about the funeral. "I don't care how you get there, just do it!!!!!!!" they sharply yell. Well, you just gotta shrug and understand he's in pain.
I hate dealing with freaking morons who say: "Go get the skills!!" I wanna say "**** you assholes!!!" Yeah, go get the skills and embarass oneself cause you **** up on an unwritten social rule. Oh and speaking of such...
You'd think just be intelligent enough and you'll have the socializing down. Not so. The social world is loaded with unwritten social codes whose application changes from context to context, person to person. As you've seen with rule #2, it may not even apply to your situation. In the awkward learning stages, you're consantly ****in it up. The sands are ever shifting.
How have I mitigated this? I've become a part of the longboard skateboarding world. These guys are real chill and give me lots of room to **** up. Plus it's physical, so the pressure ain't so high to socially perform. Nobody seems to put up facades (unlike social dinners, etc). Not too challenging (nightclubs, bars, upscale dining, etc) or too below (aspergers).
