How much do you expect your spouse to support you with SP?

i have been married for 9 years and we have been together for 10 years. We have 8 and 5 years old boys.

I went to doctor's office with my husband for allergy test for him and myself this Friday. The place was crowded and I felt noticeably anxious. My husband ignored me whole time and he was nicer to the receptionist than to me.

I tried to forget about it because he is usually supportive. I noticed that recently he is completely annoyed by me and has given up that I'll ever be better.

This Saturday, our older son wanted my husband to take him to Doughnut shop. My husband was still in sleep. I asked my son if he wanted me to take him and he said that he prefers daddy to take him. He favors his dad for several reasons including my social phobia. My husband glows instead of helping the situation. I talk to him about that so many times but I don't know if he is even aware he is doing it. I was hurt by that. The funny thing is that we do better when he goes out of town for business trips.

Anyhow when I was getting ready to go with them, my husband said, "you should sleep some more." Clearly he didn't want me going with him. My son asked why I'm not coming and I said, "Daddy doesn't want me to come." Maybe I shouldn't have said that but I was angry.

I stayed by myself on Saturday morning and that afternoon he wanted me to watch the kids so that he could go watch James Bond Movie himself. My older son ended up going to his friend's house and my younger son stayed with me.

I ended up doing some art works with him and tried really hard to not take it out on him. Around 9pm, he calls me to pick him from a mall. I did it because I didn't want to fight in front of my children. I hate him but then I question whether he has right to do that after dealing with 10 years of my SP.

The irony is that I would probably have left him awhile ago if it wasn't for my SP. I have not worked for last 9 years and I'm still very agrophobic. I'm currently in school and I need 3 more years to finish my degree.

I would like some objective views. Thanks.

[Riiya goes paranoid.]

First i'll answer your topic question. I expect my husband to support me 100% and you should too. If your husband isn't giving you support anymore or if you feel hurt by his actions, you should really talk to him and be up front with him. It's really important to be as honest as possible in a marriage and try to work things out, especially if you have children. If you feel your son is favoring his father over you, this may not be the case, it may be because he(your son) is sensing the tension between the both of you, and children usually go to the same-sex parent for guidance and influence, so this is another reason why it's important to work things out. Also, if you ever feel angry or hurt at your husband, don't bring anything up with the children, keep it between the both of you, this could cause a lot of resentment towards you. Leaving should be the last option, but I have to say, my Dad left my mom so I know what it's like to experience this feeling and it is just so traumatizing and difficult to go through because it is hard for children to understand why, children will blame themselves, or blame another parent, so I really hope you can work things out as a family. You could always go to family counselling as well as marriage counselling, so that the children can understand your side as well.

I really hope you work things out, good luck to you and your family.

Thank you guys.

I do this at times. I let my negative thinking take over me and I lose the sense of rationality.

I started feeling better after I vented here. I started exercising and taking all my supplement that tend to help me with my anxiety, depression, negative thinking, and anger.

I feel so much better now. As for talking to my husband and marriage counselor, I have done that before. If I start too early, I tend to get angry again so I'm letting myself calm down little bit more. I know I have to talk to him;otherwise, it will blow up on my face again and again.