How long do I have to wait for the attacks to stop?

Right guys, sorry about this but I'll make it as short as possible!

A few years ago I had a personal problem in a personal place and to be honest with you for the past 3 years or so it's had a huge affect on my quality of life! Basically I caught a rash and spent three years fighting it away because of the way it made me feel! It was nothing too serious, except for a few weeks about a year ago when it turned into blisters and really wasn't a nice experience especially 2 weeks after I'd started university half way across the country, on my own! I've really fought hard though and got through it, still at uni after a year and a half, I've never told anyone here about it but I seem to now be coming to an end of the whole problem, in a few weeks it should all be gone and I can feel normal again and hopefully no more panic attacks...

I know it doesn't sound like such a big problem but it really has affected me mentally, I think especially in social situations I just feel like there's something wrong with the way I look even though no-one can see it? Because of these feelings I went to a councellor for a while, she talked me through everything and I basically explained to her how I often feel in these situations...

Self-concsious
Nervous
Worried
Shaky
Angry
Sweaty
I just get all worked up inside and find it hard to talk to people, to concentrate and just to feel comfortable! Even though I'm usually good in these situations! Sometimes the nerves used to last for days and the mornings would be horrible because I'd wake up with them, almost starting a day with a fight on my hands!

The concellor said it sounds like panic attacks and suggested a few methods to me. These have and haven't worked but I still find it hard to believe that these are panic attacks? Attack seems a fairly brutal word as I'm hardly physically being hurt? I suppose I could say I get attacked inside though, this is where I get confused? Though I'm getting happier now because the cause of them seems to be gone for good! I've had an operation which has finally got rid of it and I'm just waiting for it all to heal before I feel comfortable enough to be the real me! Though it's taken me two operations, I had the worst luck! The first surgeon basically did a bad job and made this particular part of my body look extremely ugly, which again caused the attacks! Especially with girls! I haven't been comfortable enough to get involved with them for years now, this is a big part of it all!

Anyway, I had a second operation about a month ago and this surgeon did a good job and fixed it all to look normal for me, now I'm just waiting for a few stitches to dissolve and then I'm done and all the problems and worries are gone!

The reason why I'm posting this is because I've just come back from a small house party and it really wasn't a big thing but I seemed to have a small attack again! Usually I wouldn't be that worried because I'd know I just have to be patient with the problem...but now my problem has gone and I KNOW there's light at the end, why am I still having an attack? How long do I need to wait till they stop? What can I do to stop them now I can feel normal again?

Maybe my body's just getting confused and slightly frustrated because I'm so close now, I'm not sure, I just really don't want these to continue after my problem has gone, that would upset me so much and put a whole anti-climax on it all!

I'm so sorry it's long and probably doesn't make much sense but being honest I've left a lot out! I'd jus really appreciate comments which may help please, or if anyone wants a chat, please leave your hotmail addresses here and we can use MSN Messenger?

Thanks


Jason

Just to add...

Sorry, just to add to that saga...

I also wonder if I hadn't have had these personal problems, maybe I would have had attacks anyway? Or is it likely these are the causes?

...

I've never hid away with this problem though, always fought it long and hard, so went out and socialised a lot but always got home angry and feeling horrible!

I found it hard to figure out the difference between panic and a "panic attack." Today, my pschologist said, the difference is that panic attacks are irrational. You panic when you're being held at gunpoint; you have a panic attack when you're talking to someone.
I thought CBT wasn't gonna work at all, but it's actually extremely helpful.

Having a rash won't give you panic attacks on its own. You also have to be generally a more anxious person than others. Otherwise, everyone who had a (visible?) rash would have panic attacks.

This isn't just any rash though, was I trying to be too personal? Maybe I should just be honest with you to make it clear...
Well, it's on my penis (sorry I'm not sure how personal the conversations go on this forum but I guess we're all adult) and at the blistering point it was diagnosed as herpes AND the two operations were circumcisions! Before all this it was just ballonitis but the attacks happened then? Or do you still think this couldn't cause them?

Thanks for your help!

I've also always worried that if I try to get rid of them by chatting about them, like now, it will put them more on my mind and therefore cause more chance of them happening...

What's CBT by the way?


Jason

CBT is cognitive behaviour therapy. It's the therapy of choice for social phobia and most anxiety disorders.
Behavior therapy helps you weaken the connections between troublesome situations and your reactions to them. Reactions such as fear, depression or rage, and self-defeating or self-damaging behavior. It also teaches you how to calm your mind and body, so you can feel better, think more clearly, and make better decisions.
Cognitive therapy teaches you how certain thinking patterns are causing your symptoms — by giving you a distorted picture of what's going on in your life, and making you feel anxious, depressed or angry for no good reason, or provoking you into ill-chosen actions.
CBT is a combination of them both.

...And I still don't understand how herpes could give you panic attacks. The way you feel about the herpes could though. It's likely that even when you're clear, the panic attacks will continue. But I'm not a pro, so you might be anxiety free.
Maybe you were under a lot of stress at the time of the diagnosis/operations, and that started the attacks. It happens.