Honesty and Confession...are they valuable?

I am new to this forum...sometimes I find when I am revealing of my group anxieties to friends or in classrooms that it helps me feel more at ease. Of course my greatest fear in life is to appear out of control or incompetent...so I don't take the opportunity as much as I'd like. And some groups are not appropriate to reveal such things as that is not their purpose...

Just wondered if anyone has had positive experiences with the "public confession" approach.

Thanks to all.

-Mike

I haven't actually gone public or told a group outright about my social phobia. Some people are very narrow minded and think there is something seriously wrong with you. I've told them that I feel very uncomfortable and I can't handle crowds. I guess you have to be selective and like you said some groups aren't appropiate it just depends on the situation

I don't go telling people about my sp. Like needy says there is very narrow people and if you tell them that, they would consider you like a very strange people. That would be even worse, one more problem

Hi!

I have told a few people about my SP....usually, I have trusted some of my friends with this information. I got burnt a few times when I told just mere acquaintences (i.e., classmates). They treated me differently (like I was a freak or a very fragile person). I didn't like that so much....I think so people get freaked out when they hear about emotional problems or psychological disorders....
Anyway, the people who I have told (and who are my friends) are a great support system. I go to them and vent when I'm frustrated. I am very thankful for them.....I also help them out when they need to vent. (I guess they know my secrets and I know theirs.)

Tellin all

Talking to my family about my problems with anxiety as well as a few friends really helped me move forward, it helped me realise how things really were and although some people didn't understand it was good to know that they had some I idea why I behaved the way I did and they weren't left to draw their own conclusions.

I would say only tell the people who matter to you, as those who don't matter, well it doesn't really matter what they think. You might like to express to people that you find you get very anxious in social or group situation rather than comming out with a label like I've got social anxiety or I'm a social phobic, people will likely relate to the former easier.

I think if you can talk openly and honestly to someone about your problems then this will really help you make progress, because when we get honest about things and communicate that we have to get clear on the specifics of it to make sure we say what we mean and we have to structure it into sentenses that are logical to us, while we do this we start to understand things better and therefore we can change them easier.

Nick

Telling all

I think it definitely feels good to know that at least you've communicated your side of things and then it's up to other people to decide what they do with it.

I wouldn't go around telling everyone, unless you feel very confident in who you are at this time and can bounce off and negative feedback you get, I assume you don't wholey feel confident in yourself as this is almost always part of social anxiety.

In a nutshell, be selective, be honest and don't label yourself as something, express it as a part of you at this time rather than saying you are this thing social phobia or what ever your label is.

Nick

www.socialanxiety.org.uk

I am making it a point every day to tell someone something genuine about my experience. I'm not worried about using jargon...just communicating what I experience. Today I told a group of people in my class that I was afflicted with always being hot...even when most people are cold, I am hot and prone to perspire...so in the cold air conditioned room I also pointed a nearby fan in my direction.

People just smiled...no funny comments or wierd looks. I am trying to be matter-of-fact about it...not looking for sympathy or letting on that I am suffering in the extreme (which I am much of the time).

So far I really like it...it feels like I have a little less to hide than usual and is helping me have a more accepting attitude about my condition. I just need to keep it up and not freak out and go back totally underground.

I always tell my friends. They're weird too, and we think having stuff wrong makes you interesting. One of my friends is bipolar, one has tumors, and one has anger nosebleeds.
If I went to group, I wouldn't feel bad about saying something like that, 'cause they would all be there to listen and be heard, just like I would be.
If someone thinks there's something seriously wrong with me, I view that as a plus. I know I might burn some bridges that way, but I don't want to be friends with narrow minded people, so that will weed them out at the source.

Most people won't understand unless they have it themselves. Plenty others will take advantage of you. I'd say only tell people you trust. If they react badly, you know not to trust them anymore.