Hello Im new to this site

Hey, I stumbled across this site, and I had to register to post a comment. I have not been able to look people directly in the eyes for quite sometime (5 years or so), while others can look me in mines. I felt like I was the only person who was dealing with this issue, and it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulder. I feel very alone, do you know how hard it is to communicate with people when you can't look at them directly??? I totally can relate to the person who says this is a "living hell" I just want to be normal again.....People at work bypass me and act like im not even here.... My social life has suffered tremendously, my friends are still cool, but it’s not the same as we all used to be. I know they think im "Loco" I can't help it.... I can only look someone in their eyes for a few secs at a time... It kinda like I see through people in a way.. or they see through me... I’m not sure if this is coming across clearly, because I have so many thoughts on this issue and everything is just coming to me at once.

I tried counseling but that didn't help... any other sugguestions?

I'm new here too, but for at least 10 years I couldn't look anyone in the eye. Even in school I had severe difficulty looking my teachers in the eye when they were talking to me. When I passed people on the street I immediately looked down in order to avoid their eyes.

In the past couple of months, however, I have made huge strides. I realized that I have very low confidence and self-esteem, which made me feel inferior to people. So I've forced myself to block out negative thoughts of myself (which is a difficult thing to do), to rationally examine the good things about me, and to always walk with my head up. Just changing a little bit about how I feel about myself has allowed me to look people in the eyes more often. I still get a little uncomfortable, but that's because I still have to improve my confidence. But I know that I'm on the right path. I hope that is at least a little help. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions.

Oh, and you have to keep in mind that avoiding peoples' eyes is a bad habit. It's like biting your nails - you may say that you're going to stop doing it right now, but habits are hard to break. You've just gotta keep trying and keep trying to determine the underlying problem.

Hey Lunchbox,
Oh wow-I have suffered that at times- it comes and goes. I feel so exposed when I look directly in someone's eyes. I discovered it was because i didn't really accept myself...with my flaws...I want to hide them, change them, and I'm afraid people will notice that I have flaws if I look straight at them.

It can be cured! It will be gradual and it takes willingness on your part to do WHATEVER you have to. Look for an Anxiety Support group in your town and Go to meetings. Sit in the back and slowly get to know people. You can also read books and work on the suggestions in books. Keep going back to the councelor and work on your self esteem issues... Try all three approaches at the same time and Don't give up hope. We care about you because we suffer from these anxiety and social phobia issues also. Let me know what you think! best,
Stanley

Ahh man, thanks for your fast responses.... I didn't expect nobody to reply so fast. I will have to find a group if they have such a group here in DC. Thank yall again for the quick reply...

Yeah, go for it!

LunchBox,
You're welcome for the quick reply! I just wanted you to know I do care...
Please do Google and find a support group in DC- also, did you read the interesting post near the top titled "How to Cure Social Phobia permanantly" - very interesting! I like the idea of using positive mp3's to create or correct our positive thought patterns. Check out the post!
It's also very helpful to write your own positve affirmations and read them out loud every morning and night as you Smile and imagine yourself happy. The spoken word creates a reality that our brain and neurosystem accepts as Truth.

Back to work

I wish there where more people like you Mr. Stanley.... Thanks for the added support.

I wish there where more people like you Mr. Stanley.... Thanks for the added support.