afterforever
Active member
Hi all,
It took me a little while to build up the courage to even post my first hello, but here I am. I'm a 20 year old male facing a plethora of issues that I hope at least someone can relate to. I haven't been formally diagnosed yet, but I guess you can say sometimes you just know. I plan on seeing a counselor once my weekly workload lightens up (probably around mid-to-late November).
I've been a hardcore germaphobe for about 4 or 5 years now, with antibacterial soap, hand sanitizer, and latex gloves being my best friends. I genuinely dislike going out in public due to how filthy I perceive the outside world to be (which makes every day I'm at college a nightmare) and only ever feel at ease in my room, which is my "safe place". I just finished a 3 week vacation from college during which I only ever went outside my house twice, which is actually a record for me.
I've been with an awesome girl for almost 3 1/2 years who I absolutely love to death. She's possibly the only person walking the planet who (until now) knows the full extent of what I go through. While she understands, she's also made it clear she wants me to get help as soon as possible because she, and I quote, "isn't going to live the rest of her life like this". I'm absolutely terrified of losing her, because I truly wouldn't have the confidence level to ever seek out someone else.
I do have some other issues going on inside my head, but I haven't been able to properly peg them with a definitive term. They do, however, seem similar to some of the things you guys are enduring, so I'm hoping someone can relate. Hopefully, as I spend my time here with you all, I can figure out how to define those things prior to seeing a counselor. I must apologize for the lack of anything other than my age, gender, and rough location, as I'm absolutely paranoid about anyone I know someone finding me on this site through Google or some other means. Not that I have many friends left, but it would be socially devastating, and I'd rather solve my problems on the down low, you know? Maybe after being here a while, I'll loosen up a little, but I must be strict in regards to that for the time being.
I am so very sorry for rambling on and on like that. After finally building up the courage to post, it felt so good to get that all out. Hopefully you can forgive me
It took me a little while to build up the courage to even post my first hello, but here I am. I'm a 20 year old male facing a plethora of issues that I hope at least someone can relate to. I haven't been formally diagnosed yet, but I guess you can say sometimes you just know. I plan on seeing a counselor once my weekly workload lightens up (probably around mid-to-late November).
I've been a hardcore germaphobe for about 4 or 5 years now, with antibacterial soap, hand sanitizer, and latex gloves being my best friends. I genuinely dislike going out in public due to how filthy I perceive the outside world to be (which makes every day I'm at college a nightmare) and only ever feel at ease in my room, which is my "safe place". I just finished a 3 week vacation from college during which I only ever went outside my house twice, which is actually a record for me.
I've been with an awesome girl for almost 3 1/2 years who I absolutely love to death. She's possibly the only person walking the planet who (until now) knows the full extent of what I go through. While she understands, she's also made it clear she wants me to get help as soon as possible because she, and I quote, "isn't going to live the rest of her life like this". I'm absolutely terrified of losing her, because I truly wouldn't have the confidence level to ever seek out someone else.
I do have some other issues going on inside my head, but I haven't been able to properly peg them with a definitive term. They do, however, seem similar to some of the things you guys are enduring, so I'm hoping someone can relate. Hopefully, as I spend my time here with you all, I can figure out how to define those things prior to seeing a counselor. I must apologize for the lack of anything other than my age, gender, and rough location, as I'm absolutely paranoid about anyone I know someone finding me on this site through Google or some other means. Not that I have many friends left, but it would be socially devastating, and I'd rather solve my problems on the down low, you know? Maybe after being here a while, I'll loosen up a little, but I must be strict in regards to that for the time being.
I am so very sorry for rambling on and on like that. After finally building up the courage to post, it felt so good to get that all out. Hopefully you can forgive me