It's Thanksgiving weekend here and my in-laws (i'm not married but common-law) are having the family over on Sunday and of course expect us to come.
True to form, I've always thought that they didn't really like me, or think I was good enough for their son. Now i've missed the last few get togethers with them and was nervous because i was afraid that they would begin to think i didn't like them, which would make the next visit more awkward. I don't want to do anything to ruin the relationship and cause any resentment.
So 2 days ago I emailed them explaining that I was having a hard time right now and found being around alot of people really stressful and wouldn't make it. I let them know that I was seeking help and would rather just come out with it ,than have them come up with their own ideas. My hands shook so bad but I did this because lately I've come to the conclusion that my biggest fear is having someone know how I really am. If I just let a few select people in, it will take away the threat. So I ended it with a couple jokes and hurried up and hit send before I changed my mind and deleted (do this sort of thing quite abit).
That night it hit, oh my g-d what did I do? now they just have another reason to hate me. They're going to tell bf to run from a mess like me, etc. I had an anxiety attack and a good cry.
Yesterday morning I thought i hope they don't call or email, then later uh-oh they haven't called or emailed :roll: . Then last night I got an email from bf mom, saying that it took alot of courage to tell them. That she went through severe depression in her 30's and when i'm ready, she'd like to come and visit. Then she added the real tear jerker and sd she thought of me like a daughter and loved me like one.
This was the deepest and most personal exchange that we've had in the 7+ years i've been with bf. All this time I've been such a wanker, but I'm so glad I finally reached out. It's the first time I've treated them like people.
Wow, this is a long one, but I had to get it out. To me it's a biggie.
True to form, I've always thought that they didn't really like me, or think I was good enough for their son. Now i've missed the last few get togethers with them and was nervous because i was afraid that they would begin to think i didn't like them, which would make the next visit more awkward. I don't want to do anything to ruin the relationship and cause any resentment.
So 2 days ago I emailed them explaining that I was having a hard time right now and found being around alot of people really stressful and wouldn't make it. I let them know that I was seeking help and would rather just come out with it ,than have them come up with their own ideas. My hands shook so bad but I did this because lately I've come to the conclusion that my biggest fear is having someone know how I really am. If I just let a few select people in, it will take away the threat. So I ended it with a couple jokes and hurried up and hit send before I changed my mind and deleted (do this sort of thing quite abit).
That night it hit, oh my g-d what did I do? now they just have another reason to hate me. They're going to tell bf to run from a mess like me, etc. I had an anxiety attack and a good cry.
Yesterday morning I thought i hope they don't call or email, then later uh-oh they haven't called or emailed :roll: . Then last night I got an email from bf mom, saying that it took alot of courage to tell them. That she went through severe depression in her 30's and when i'm ready, she'd like to come and visit. Then she added the real tear jerker and sd she thought of me like a daughter and loved me like one.
This was the deepest and most personal exchange that we've had in the 7+ years i've been with bf. All this time I've been such a wanker, but I'm so glad I finally reached out. It's the first time I've treated them like people.
Wow, this is a long one, but I had to get it out. To me it's a biggie.
its strange how some things can turn out how we least expect then too. Glad hear it went better than you expected :wink: