Does this ever happen to you...

Do you ever build yourself up spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally (through books, right thinking, working out, eating right, praying, church etc...) only to be taken away instantly when some social situation happens and you feel like it never changed you then feel totally hopeless cause you've tried everything you had and it still wasn't enough... makes me upset and mad that the "normal" people don't have to really take drastic measures in building themselves up and still go out with a bang and blend right in...


Also, its frustrating that i build myself for weeks, months and then meet someone for like 3-4 minutes (in this case it was a guy i knew growing up with his new wife which i didn't know) unexpectandly and bam all my anxieties just came out with full force and feel all that building up was a joke and i'm totally helpless.. But after day or two... i don't want to be negative and keep having self pity or feel hopless and go about building myself up again.... I think one thing i don't lack is not giving up... which keeps me fighting always but the same scenario repeats over and over and afraid that it's gonna make me snap and go do something crazy and land me in jail or something..

Yes.

The more time I spend indoors by myself, going through my routine, the better I feel, and the more I kid myself into believing that I'm ok. It's as if I'm extremely forgetful.

Yes i build my self up and feel good and then as soon as i get out the door its like, "Yikes what the hell am i doing!" :lol:

Definitely. Its as if whenever i am feeling "ok" and actually go somewhere, i always seem to seem to meet people i used to know (but never liked), young couples and awkward people.

Its never a good experience going out!

Sometimes I'll slowly build up to some minor social achievement, then when I get it it's so horrible an experience that I realize I don't want it after all (not at that cost) so I crawl back under my rock for a long time.

What like this?

Took so long to get me here (here)
But I won't live in fear (fear)
You try to steal my shine (shine)
But first they wanna build you up (up)
Then they tear you down (down)
It's a struggle tryin' to bubble..

(Paid my dues - Anastasia)