Do you blame yourself?

Hi
Just wondering if you blame yourself when your SA gets bad. I know i do. My SA seems to fluctuate and when its particularly bad, i feel like a coward for being so scared. The thinking is something like this - if my state can be controlled by CBT or positive thinking then at times when im really bad it must be my fault. Just started to question this, but then that would mean my SA isnt really under my control at all.
Really apprecite some input on this.
Tedious.

Thanks for the replies guys, id like to know if others feel the same.

I blame everyone else.

i didn't know about sa until a few months ago. but for about 3 yrs before that, i thought i was falling apart.

growing my family and friends saw me as the strong, responsible one(lol) cuz i was brilliant at hiding my feelings. i guess they saw me as quiet and thought i was a loner by choice. my mother used to say i was stoic and was lucky that nothing got to me.

that all changed about 3 yrs ago. i'm so much more outwardly emotional now and really i don't need to rely on that kind of armour anymore. i find it an awkward change tho. now i have to learn how to be more open and emotional.

i'm completely myself and not afraid to be vulnerable with my bf but noone else. since i've found out about sa and realize that alot of people are going through similar things, i stopped thinking about it in terms of blame.

taws said:

actually i never have blamed myself for SA, i know its not in my control, in my opinion its more biological than anything, passed down through my fathers side, its how ive been all my life, so no, i blame mankind more than i do myself, imho i dont think SA existed thousands of years ago, i believe its a by product of how we have positioned ourselves throughout time, the standards we have created for ourselves and the pressure to survive by social interaction. but i trust evolution will play the role of extinguishing it in due time. but thats in my opinion remember, i could be wrong.

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its definetly nurture more so then nature......you can be born with the gentetics of being a introverted character type (which is probably the seed to start sp growing in the first place) this is proven in studies with monkeys, this means you are more likey to flight then fight, less likely to take risks in life etc. but sp is not genetic, that you can get passed on through you family.....your genetics may have made you susceptable to it, or made it more likey to develop in you then others (say an extroverted type), but it is not a genetic trait as such. its a product of environmental factors....unless some1 poves me wrong as i'm no doc.

…and taws you mentioned “i dont think SA existed thousands of years ago” …exactly, this would show that it is not genetic at all, as those people living thousands of years ago were probably not exposed to the social pressures society forces on us today, which also exagerates the importance of ‘socialness’ on our success and survival over everything else. If it was passed down through their parents those early people would have got sp no matter what.

One last note…if sp is not genetic (which I believe) then evolution can not eradicate it over time. For evolution to eradicate the sp type traits in people, I believe it would have to eradicate everyone carrying the introverted type gene that may or may not lead to sp, and this will never happen, why? Because believe it or not there is some advantage to being the introverted type just as there is some advantage to being the extroverted type, its life neat little balance. If we are the extroverted types we take many risks, this might gain us more food, but we might also get eaten for being too daring (not that this would happen too often nowadays)……on the other hand if we are the introverted type, we have fears of many things, which might just help us to avoid being eaten and stay alive…..however we also miss out on a lot of opportunites that the extroverted types capitalise on… it’s a simple trade off. In any case its not going to be eliminated over time due to evolution, only if society as a whole can change we might see a reduction in people suffering from it……however I’m not any expert in genetics but I learnt a little about it while at uni. Good day

the psy blamed my mother... I blame myself.. always.. I've always tought that you are the person you want to be... But apparently, it's not.

my philosophy is the american way. I blame others for my actions.

taws said:

your welcome to your opinion, skins, as am i. but thanks for that long ass reply, really.

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haha no worries.. i was bored what can i say :roll:

Social phobia in particular may not be genetic - but i have a genetic predisposition for mental illness - and out of the disorders i could have developed my brain decided this one would be a good one - fucking brain.
No seriously, i don't blame myself - my mind did what it had to do to protect me when i was a child. I had no control over the situation - neither does anyone else. And unfortunately it still thinks that it has a duty to serve - i declare peace time already, surrender would ya!
Under our control - i don't know, i am under no illusion that i will ever be 'cured' of this - but that i will get to a stage where i will learn to manage it better - but it will still be there, weapons at the ready in times of stress or whatever. You have to remember this condition didn't just develop overnight - in most cases it takes years and is incredibly deep rooted and as far as our mind is concerned is necessary to our very survival - such a beast is hard to tame.

I can't support this, but I believe social anxiety probably was around a thousand years ago or even earlier. It just wasn't defined as anything other than cowardice or reclusiveness. I'd like to think that in some scenarios it was benefical, but I can only think about examples of how anxiety in general could have helped. It doesn't seem to be helping now :?

Ah Redlady, I just got a :idea: from what you said. I never thought about it in terms of my mind trying to protect me before. Hmm, this gives me something to ponder.

LittleMissScareAll said:

I blame everyone else.

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so do I

I dont blame anyone well maybe the bullies at school
my mum's side has a huge lot of mental illness and i surposse
i'm just one of the lucky ones :lol: