Decision

Hi Guys,

I've made a decision today that I won't be posting here for the near future, so I guess this is goodbye.

I've decided to leave because I don't believe the forum here is the best place for me. I realize that the vast majority of posters here are very nice people who are trying their very damndest to overcome this fucking thing. But there is also a minority (a very small minority) who post stuff that honestly HURTS me to read. These people aren't here to share their thoughts and feelings with others in a spirit of openness, support, sharing and giving. They're here to complain -- to piss and moan about how life treats them poorly -- and they're doing the rest of us a disservice in the process. It is my personal opinion that people behaving this way bleed the life out of those of us who ARE here to help, support, and encourage each other. They're taking all and offering nothing. I can't speak for everybody, of course, but this "life sucks but damned if I'm gonna change" attitude that some people display certainly damages me, and is the reason for my leaving. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life!

I understand, like all of you, that there are times when we all hurt; when we feel depressed and bleak and miserable, and it looks like every silver lining has a cloud. In times like this it helps soooo much to have people to lean on; people to support you; people you can share your thoughts and feelings with; and this is what our community here is for! For every up there is a down, though, and you've got to maintain some sort of balance. In my mind there is a ticket price for entry into this community: in order to benefit from the help and support of other people, you gotta be willing to help others; and, most importantly, you've got to be willing to help yourself!. There's an old saying "you don't get nothing for nothing" that applies ubiquitously in life -- everybody knows that -- and I don't think this place should be any different. Without dedication and positive input by its members, the community quickly degenerates into a pity-party and noone goes anywhere but down. Imagine, for a second, what it'd be like if EVERYONE simply complained and nobody offered support or tried to get better...

Like I said above, I believe the vast majority of posters here live by this rule -- you're lovely people and I can't thank you enough for the help and support you've shown me over the last month or so. You have made me feel welcome, which is SUCH a rare and wonderful experience for me, and have helped me to feel comfortable enough to share some very personal details about my life and my personality; things that I've been hiding from myself for a very long time; things I desperately needed to talk about. You've helped me to learn SO much about myself and about the SA/SP condition in general, and I'm sad I feel I have to leave. I can only hope that some of what I've posted here during my stay has made a difference for you as well.

I wish you all the very best overcoming this bloody thing!

And even if you believe things will NEVER get better for you, I urge you to keep trying anyway (even if you do think it's pointless). Why? Because while ever you keep trying, there is a NON-ZERO probability, no matter how remote, that you CAN beat your social anxiety. Stop trying, and you've defaulted to failure -- there's ZERO probability of beating it if you give up.

You can't argue with logic, guys. ;-)

Goodbye!

Im sorry to see you go mate, i know i dont know you well or anything, but a few of your posts have made me laugh quite a lot, I understand why your leaving aswell and just hope i havnt contributed to your departure with some of the depressing things ive posted.Anyways I hope life treats you well and hope you manage to beat this.Good luck and take care you will be missed!

I hate saying bye , but yeah...i understand why you are going...sometimes feel this way myself. I know I've been pretty bitchy lately sorry bout that. Hate to see you go cause i can relate to a lot of what you have said on here, but good luck and since you are so like me it seems, I'll know exactly where you are in the battle .

sorry to see you go man. i cant understand you feeling the way you do. best of luck in beat this, peace

I really don't know what to say.
If we start leaving every where we find these guys, we probably won't find a place to walk on.

You know what, I'm sure you won't leave (have you left already? ), you will come back from time to time to check on what's up, you might not share us by posting, but you will watch us laughing, smiling, fighting, struggling, crying, and hopefully overcoming the problem which brought us here in the first place.

If you insist, well, I just want you to know that i will miss you and we are all gonna.
Bye, friend.

I don't mind the negative posts. They remind me of how I used to be (or still am) and that I need to continue (or start) changing for the better.

But hey, if you've had enough, good call. Keep healing.

im new here so I can only say that some people dont have any body to talk to about how they feel.I have spent hours upon hours the last few days reading the posts and realy enjoyed reading the good and the bad because i can relate to most.It's kind of comforting to hear at least your not alone.I can only hope you can find help somewhere if not here ... good luck to you.

SPECTACULAR said:

I really don't know what to say.
If we start leaving every where we find these guys, we probably won't find a place to walk on.

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You're absolutely right, Spectacular; if everybody just walked away when things don't go perfectly, then I agree there would be no community formed in the first place. I understand this must come across as a sudden decision, but I've been feeling this way for a while now and I guess yesterday's event just pushed me over the edge.

After sleeping on this overnight, I've reached another conclusion too -- I think a part of me has changed between yesterday and today.

Lifesnotfair, if you're reading, I think your attitude sucks, man -- completely sucks -- but I won't dwell on it here because I think I've summed up my feelings on the matter pretty well already. Plus, my reason for calling you out publicly wasn't to single you out, or shame you; but rather, to thank you. Honestly. Your posts yesterday have shaken me up; given me a REAL good shaking up; and I think my perspective on life has changed a little as a result. For the first time ever, I'm actually thinking to myself "well shit, life really isn't THAT bad" and meaning it; and this can only be a good thing. I'm not sure if there's anything I can say or do to help pull you out of the place you're in right now, but know that my thoughts are with you and I hope someone, someday, can provide you with the 'shove' you've given me.

I guess I just need some time to myself right now; some time free of external influences (as far as that's possible) to process my thoughts; to reflect on what's happened over the past day or so and find out exactly what it means to me. Could be days, weeks, months, or even years; I'm not sure yet. It's like a fresh start, guys, and honestly it's quite exciting. I know I'm not over my SA yet -- not by a long shot -- but I think I have a better chance of taking it on now than ever before.

So I guess that's it then; time to say goodbye. Thank you all for your kind words; you will be missed. And best of luck to each and every one of you in your own fight against SA -- I hope someday we can all meet up and discuss how bad it WAS rather than how bad it IS.