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Old 03-16-2007
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"You can't love others, if you can't love yourself?"

Do you think this old saying is true?

I know I don't love myself, but I am in a relationship (almost 2.5 years). I feel bad because I have turned so hateful and mean. I can't let things he has done go - however big or little they may be. I can't trust him anymore. Our relationship was good for about a year when I didn't really know him well, but now we fight often. I feel like he is just with me so he has a GF and isn't alone. I don't feel like I am someone he would choose to be with. He even says that we have nothing in common. If some other girl -who fits his mold- shows him attention, I'd be gone. I just feel like it's not fair anymore to be with him. All I do is yell at everything he does. I don't know, maybe it's because I don't love who I am and am being paranoid. But maybe not. Either way, should someone who doesn't like themself be in a relationship? Is it fair to the other person?
Moonie is offline  
Old 03-16-2007

I think it can make a relationship really difficult if you have really low self esteem and dislike yourself.I mean from my point of view how can you be good towards other people and stuff if your not even good to yourself and its made you bitter towards everything,its definatley hard.

I love someone with all my heart,but because i hate myself aswell.. cos my none existant self esteem i think is the root of my problems.. it causes problems.With me in manifests in a different way tho.. i get paranoid ive done or said somthing wrong.. i constantly think im not good enough and i can get jelousw the list goes on.But were open and honest about it and sometimes it gets rough.. so i think sometimes you can love someone.. and them loving you unconditionaly back can help you start to trust in yourself again and eventualy like yourself.

2,5 years is a very long time... .I know he says you have nothing in common but maybe thats just his way of having a go back.I would try maybe breaking the cycle of argueing and everything and talk about it.. or take a break to give you time to see if you miss him and if its worth carrying on.I think you will know deep down if its right to carry on or not,like fluff says tho if he doesnt really love you i wouldnt stay in the relationship.
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